I decided to give my son some of my old bedroom and kitchen furniture. Andrew has been living with Lucy for five years now, but in all that time, they havent managed to get much together. Theyre missing basic furnishingsthey even sleep on an air mattress. One day, I told Andrew that my husband and I were replacing our furniture, and he was welcome to take our old sofa bed and two cabinets. He seemed pleased and said hed talk it over with Lucy. But then it turned out Lucy wasnt happy with our offer at all. She complained that her mother would never give her second-hand, old furniture!
Our furniture is still in good shape. The cabinets are sturdy, made of proper wood, and were quite expensivesame with the sofa bed (my husband and I have always earned well and could afford it).
Of course, time has passed, and its time for a refresh. We want something new in the house, and we have the money for it now.
But the old furniture still looks decent! It could easily last for years yet. It seems such a shame to throw it away! Selling them wouldnt bring in much. All that hassleposting adverts, taking photos, finding buyers. Who needs all that trouble?
You just want to dump your unwanted old rubbish on us, Lucy says. I wish you all the best! I reply. But you havent got anythingyou can hear an echo in your flat. Im offering good things, and yet youre still not happy.
Ive already helped the young couple with their flat. I sold my holiday bungalow and had a bit of money left over. The young ones added what theyd saved and bought a two-bedroom flat. They hoped it would be comfortable once they had children. I borrowed a little from my sister to help with the renovationwhich was manageable, and they could easily pay that back.
My husband and I havent interfered in how the young couple manage their finances. We told them theyre adults and independent, so all decisions are theirs. So when my daughter-in-law criticises us and says her mum thinks differently, all we can do is shrug. The kids did a bit of basic work in their flat.
They whitened the walls and put down lino. But they have no money left for furniture. My son doesnt want to borrow any more, so now they live in a flat with bare walls, just a couple of stools and a mattress. Well, everyone has to start somewhere. Still, I decided to help them out again.
Ive got a built-in kitchen that can be dismantled and put into your place, I tell them. Its much more affordable than buying new. Theres an extractor hood and a cooker. And the bedroom furniture is almost like new.
My son was pleased, but Lucy was still unimpressed.
I realise this causes tension between the young couple. Lucy probably believes older people dont need new furniture. She feels it should be the other way roundthe young family ought to have new pieces.
But what if shes right? Maybe it does seem odd that were giving our son what we no longer want, whilst buying ourselves something new. I never thought about it that way. Though I do wish Lucy could be a little happier about it!
