A certain woman in her sixties had taken ill. She found herself without any bread at home. She thought about asking her neighbour, Mrs. Brown, to pop round to the shop for her, but changed her mind in the end. Instead, she had her soup without any bread. And nothing terrible happened. But the real lesson was something else: she hadnt asked for help.
Once before, she had found herself in a similar predicament. She was out of milk and unable to leave the house herself. Her neighbour had agreed to help and was supposed to bring her some milk the next day. But she never managed to do itshe simply forgot. And so, the sick woman waited and worried. Eventually, though, she coped without the milk.
Now, the woman believes that one shouldnt break the rule of independence: its best never to ask anyone for anything if you can avoid it. Life is easier that wayin fact, curiously enough, it becomes more interesting. She realised this truth when she was just a girl.
She began to nurture this principle of independence. Only ask for help in the most desperate situations, when there is genuinely no other option.
For example, dont borrow money. Try to manage somehow yourself. You might ask a friend, and perhaps theyd give it, but what would they really think of you?
Nor should you ask your grown-up children for help, save for a true emergency. If you face a proper crisis, fineotherwise, if youre simply tired, just rest, then get up and make yourself some pasta. Dont begsleep on it and things will seem better. Theres no need to burden anyone else.
If your son or daughter, or your relatives, havent calleddont ask them to. Dont wallow in self-pity. You can handle things.
It is so important not to dwell in self-pity. Such thoughts creep in: I brought up my children, but theres no one to fetch me milk now. That kind of resentment saps your strength. Or: Youve spent all your pension, and your daughter never asks if her father or mother needs money? And again, you feel sorry for yourself. That can only damage your health and your relationship with your daughter or son.
Its better, wherever possible, not to ask for anything at all. Then, you can feel quietly glad that God saw you through without needing to trouble anyone. You managed. No need to ask for bread, money, or even attention.
Ive experienced this myself. Whenever I ask for help, my spirit feels unsettled. But when you grasp this lesson, you awaken a kind of peace inside and are rewarded with a clear conscience. Sometimes, the greatest strength comes not from relying on others, but from learning how much you can handle on your own.
