How to Find Strength and Never See Him Again
Ten years of married life with her husband, Colin, had whisked by like mist for Edith. Their son, eight-year-old Archie, was in Year 3. Perhaps not everything was perfect in her life with Colin, but she reasoned that, having chosen this path, she must keep goingcare for her family, do her work, raise her son.
All told, her relationship with Colin wasnt particularly bad.
My husband brings home a good salary, she confided to her friend Pippa. He spends time with Archie; I cant grumble like other women do, that everything falls to me. No, honestly, I am well looked after.
Edith, you say all this as if youre not completely happy anyway.
Well every family has its bumps, dont they? Theres always something a bit off. All the big decisions, Colin takes care ofthough he does ask my opinion.
And what is it thats really bothering you, then?
His mother. My mother-in-law. I could perhaps be happy if only she didnt show up at our house, often unannounced, only to nitpick over nothing.
And what about Colin?
Thats just it. He just bites his tongue, sometimes even takes her side, then tries to justify himself to her like a little boy:
Yes, Mum, all right, Mum. Well tidy up now, Ill help Edith
Last weekend, when Jean showed up on a Sunday, we fell out spectacularly. This time, Colin took her side, and now things between us are tense. Hes sulked all week, saying I upset his mum.
Jean, Ediths mother-in-law, did have a habit of arriving without warning, even on weekends, sometimes first thing in the morning.
Still lounging about in bed, are you? Jean would announce, peering into the hall. All right for Archie, but you twoadults! shed scold as Colin opened the door, bleary-eyed.
Mum, its the weekend. We need a break too, up early all week for work
Well, wheres your lovely wifeoh, there you are, shed march into the bedroom, ignoring the lot, see, this is what happens when you laze aboutno wonder youre not a proper housekeeper
Edith always kept silent, knowing any reply would spark an argument. Shed rise, methodically prepare breakfast, but her unhurried ways drove Jean up the wall.
Oh, you move like a tired slug!
Wheres the hurry? Its the weekend, Edith responded evenly.
Exactly. You never seem to have this place in tip-top order, Jean fussed.
Edith had to bite her tongue not to answer back, but when Jean called her lazy and hopeless, she snapped.
Jean, my husband and son are never hungry. Theyre always clean and put together. I work, and after work I cook, tidy up, help Archie with his studies. Actually, our flat is clean, though sometimes there are tiny slipsso what? Its our home, Ill clean when I can Doesnt that happen at yours, too?
Jean always found fault in front of Colin.
See that, son? What kind of home-maker have you got?
The thing that maddened Edith most was that Colin never stood up for her, just stood there, sheepish as a lamb.
Ill help Edith, Mum, well sort it it happens.
This time, Edith lost her patience and told Jean exactly what she thought. Jean went wide-eyed, not expecting such audacity from her usually quiet daughter-in-law. Offended, she stormed out, slamming the door.
Silence fell across the flat. Eventually Colin sighed:
Edith, you did upset my mum; you could have been a bit gentler.
Oh? And you? You just stood theredidnt say a word for me. Am I so awful?
Colin wouldnt listen; he was sure he was right, and Edith gave up trying to explain and fell silent. No, they still talked about daily chores, but the warmth between them had evaporated. They were both wounded.
Maybe things will settle, Pippa soothed. Unlike you, though, I get on with my mother-in-law, but my husbands another story
Oh? You and Martin have two kids, dont you? Edith asked.
Yes, but Martin was going to leave me only his mother intervened.
Turned out Martin had been seeing someone else for a long time. He even planned to leave, but called it off when Pippa got pregnant with their second. There had been shouting, tears, but Martins mum, Anne, got involvedtook Pippas side and tracked down the other woman.
Anne wasnt the retiring sortformidable and business-like, she turned up at the womans door, gave her a right telling-off, and scared her away for good. Pippa managed to hang on to her marriage. Their two boys grew up together.
Pippa shared all this with Edith, who listened in amazement. Their friendship continued. They often wandered the park together; Pippa visited Edith and Colin at home.
Its hard living with Martin now, Pippa confided. After the affair, the trusts just not there. Every time hes late from work, I wonder if its starting all over again. Its exhaustingjust living on edge.
A little while later, Pippa confessed:
Edith, Im pregnant again, a third oneand Martins fine with it.
Time went by, and Martin lost his job, found work at the same office where Edith worked.
Look out for my Martin, Pippa asked. Tell me if he gets flirty with anyone.
Dont worry, Pippa, Ill keep an eye out
Martin started dropping by Ediths office. At first, it was all work stuffhed ask for help with this or that. Edith always reassured Pippa that Martin was behaving. Gradually, though, their conversations became more friendly.
Hello Edith, you seem down todayanything wrong?
At home, relations with Colin still hadnt mended since the row with Jean. He couldnt forgive Edith for upsetting his mother. He visited his mum alone. Whatever she whispered, hed come home dark as thunder. Edith knew Jean couldnt stand her and was fuelling the tension.
Edith found herself confiding in Martin that all wasnt right at home. It was then he began to pay her special attention.
Edith, you seem so weighed down. Lets have a coffee after work, talk things over, get it off your chest. A change of scene might help.
All right, she agreed.
In the café, she spilled her heartshe didnt quite know how or why, as she wasnt one for baring her soul. Martin listened closely, nodding.
Edith, dont let it gnaw at youthings turn around, they always do. Good you came; at least you let it out. Feel any lighter?
Yes, in fact, she felt an unfamiliar relief.
That night they stayed in the café for ages, then chatted amiably. Martin ordered a grand dinner. From that point, something shiftedthey drew closer. Edith felt shed known him for years.
She couldnt deny it: she was growing attached to him
By morning, there was a message from Martin: Morning! She replied. That was how their daily messages began. Edith realised she was growing ever more attached, but couldnt figure out what to do.
Martin sends me such kind words. Ive never heard anything like it from Colin, she thought. Turns out I am interesting and attractive after allrare these days.
Later, Ediths car broke down and Martin fixed it for her. One afternoon, she lost her phone and was upset. Colin was annoyed:
My mum’s rightyoure hopeless and scatterbrained. Well have to buy a new one now.
Martin bought her a new phone and gave it to her.
What will I tell my husband?
Say you bought it on credit
During this time, Edith kept up with Pippa, who was at home with her new baby. Pippa pressed her for details about Martin at work.
No, Pippa, I havent noticed anything. He seems focusedhe hasnt grown close to anyone in particular.
Time passed. Edith and Martin never crossed the line; neither was unfaithful to their spouse. But Edith hungered for the warmth Martin gave her, the steady coldness from Colin made it all the harder.
Martin never asked anything of Edith. He would simply say she mattered to him. One day, after her car broke down yet again, he drove her home and, unexpectedly, kissed her. She didnt turn away, even though she knew it was a mistake.
From then on, they were drawn even closer, until Martin confessed:
Edith, I love you. Ill leave my family if you want me.
Martin, its impossible. You have three children. Im married with a son, and he loves his dadhe could never accept someone else. There are women who walk out on husbands and kids, but I can’t. Besides, Pippas my friendshe trusts me Im betraying her by even talking to you like this.
So with nothing resolved, they each went home. That night, lying next to Colin, Edith churned things over:
The only answer is to quit this job and never see Martin again. I need to tell him its overwhat we have is no longer friendship, she tormented herself, sleepless. But how can I bear itno more Martin, no more kind words? How will I find the strength to let him go for good?
She resolved nothing and eventually drifted off into a hollow, woolly sleep. Yet when morning came, she woke with a resolute heart to end things. She saw that this would cleanse everything at once: shed be warm with her husband again, he might thaw as well, she wouldnt need to hide or feel guilty with Pippa, and Martinwell, hed have to sort himself out. Those were his choices now.
