So, What Are We Doing Here? Why Are We Sneaking Into Someone Else’s House?

And what do you think we’re doing here? Why are we sneaking into someone else’s house?
Thats it, Emily, its over between us! I want a proper family, children. You cant give me that. Ive waited, Ive been patient, but I need a son. Ive already filed for divorce! Youve got three days to pack. Call me when youve left. Ill be staying at Mums for now. Chop-chop, I need to get the flat ready for my child and his mother. Yes, dont act so surprised, my future wife is having a baby! Three days, thats all youve got!

Emily was silent. What was she supposed to say to that?

She hadnt been able to have children. Michael had waitedfive years, in fact. Three failed attempts in those years.

Doctorsmore than a fewhad all told Emily she was perfectly healthy. But each time, nothing.

Emily had always lived sensibly. Ate right, didnt smoke, went jogging, drank herbal tea. And yet, nothing.

This time shed fainted at work; an ambulance had been called, but the disappointment was swift and sudden

The door slammed behind Michael. Emily slumped on the sofa, exhausted.

She had neither the will nor the energy to pack. And to be honest, she had no idea where she could even go.

Before university and marriage, shed lived with her aunt. The aunt was long gone, her cousin had sold the flat. Go back to the cottage in the countrysideGrandmas old house? Rent a flat? What about work?

So many questions, and no time to answer them

Then, early in the morning, the front door opened and Michaels mother strode in.

Not sleeping? Good. Im here to make sure you dont make off with anything that isnt yours.
I can assure you, Ive no intention of taking your sons old pants. Shall we inventory my knickers as well?
You cheeky little thing! You used to be such a sweet, polite girl. Look how its all turned out. After your first failed attempt, I told Michael youd never manage to give him a baby.

Is that why youve come? Brilliant. Do me a favour, sit there quietly and keep an eye on things.

Where do you think youre putting that tea set?!
Its mine, actually. Came from my aunt, a family keepsake.
Well, itll be bare without it, wont it!
Thats not really my problem. Youll soon have a grandchild to coo over.
Take only whats yours!
Laptopmine. Coffee maker and microwave too, my work colleagues bought them for me. The cars mine as wellbought it before I even met your son. Hes got his own.
Youve got everything except childrenyou just cant have them!
Thats really not for you to worry about. Im finemaybe this is just how its meant to be.
You dont even seem sorry! Maybe you did it all on purpose!
Thats a ridiculous thing to say! I can hardly even think about it.
Emily looked around the flat. All her things were gone. Toothbrush, makeup, slippers

She had the nagging feeling shed forgotten something. Michaels mum was distracting her.

Then she rememberedher old cat figurine was missing. It had a little secret: a pair of earrings and a ring tucked inside, nothing fancy but precious as a memory of her grandma. Michael had always called it junk. Had he thrown it out? Hed always shoved clutter onto the balcony. Emily opened the door

What are you after out here? Get your stuff and get out! Michaels mother called again. Saying goodbye to the flat? Go on, say goodbye. Not like youll ever have anything like this again.
Finally, the cat was found, all safe and sound. Now she was ready to go.

Here are the keys, goodbye. And sincerely, I hope never to clap eyes on you again.

Emily swung by the office. She was officially on sick leave but asked to turn it into annual leave.

Were all really sorry for you, Emily, but how will we cope without you? Will three weeks do? Please just keep your phone on. Without your help half our projects are sunk.
Itll be fine, a bit of distraction cant hurt. Thank you.

Need any help?
No, Ill manage.
Ill sort out your holiday pay and a bonus.
Thank you, that would help a lot.

Emily didnt even bother flat hunting, she simply drove to the village. No one was waiting for her thereher grandma had passed away three years before, and her own mother shed never met. Her mum had died giving birth to her.

And now, for some reason, Emily herself couldnt have children

An hour later, she was home. The apple tree, the tulips

Last time shed been here with Michael was last autumn, grilling sausages, relaxing.

She parked in the drive, fetched the garage key from the house.

She opened the door and walked in. Silence. Dirty plates and mugs on the table. Why hadnt she cleaned up last time?

Noshe had. Someone had been here since! Two mugs, plates, juice cartons, and Michaels favourite prosecco bottles. Not from last autumn.

So Michael had been herewith someone else?

Didnt matter. Not anymore.

Only she had a key to the house. Michael must have had a copy made. Time to change the locks!

A new start: a big tidy-up, then a hot bath.

Emily decided she would wash off all the dirtthe past included.

Just as she was about to get out, someone knocked on the door, then the window.

Whos there?!
Everything alright in there?!
Yes she replied, surprised.

Emily stepped outside and found an unfamiliar man standing by the house.

Sorry, I hope I havent alarmed you. Im your neighbour, been keeping an eye out all day.
Saw you disappear for ages, bit of smoke coming from the chimney, and I thoughtwhat if somethings wrong

Thank you, Im fine.

Are you related to Michael by any chance? He was here not long ago with his wife You his sister?

No, Im well, almost his ex-wife. Its a work in progress, you see.

You own the house?

I do.

Im just your temporary neighbour. Family business, bit of a messy break-up, moving out tomorrowfinally free! Well, if you need anything, just ask. Im James.

Im Emily. Actually, James, could you help change the locks?

Of course. Just let me know when and Ill sort it.

As soon as possible. Ill pick one up in town.

No need, Ill get the right one. Spare you a trip.

Brilliant, thanks.

Two weeks passed. With one week of leave left, she was almost used to her new-old life and couldnt be bothered to hunt for a flat in the city. Michael hadnt rung or messaged, just a letter with the court date for the divorce. Which, honestly, was for the best. She had no desire to see him.

It was a Saturday. Emily was always up early, and this morning James had invited her for a walk by the lake.

She wasnt planning on a new romance or anythingjust a walk, nothing else. They had a lovely time, came back for lunch. Parked outside her house was Michaels car, looking freshly arrived. He got out, then helped a heavily pregnant woman out.

Emily and James walked up to the gate. Michael was trying the front door, but of course

Whats going on here?

Well, what do you think? Trying to break into someone elses house, are we?

Michael looked gobsmacked.

This is our house! declared the pregnant lady.

Oh really? Who told you thatMichael? Sorry, this is my property, and youll have to leave.

Michael! Who is she?! Is that your ex?! Tell her to get lost! squeaked the pregnant guest.

Emily and James snorted with laughter. Michael bundled his companion into the car, and off they went.

Hes in for some fun, Id say.

Well, at least shell give him a child. I couldnt. Three failed tries. Sorry.

My ex left because she didnt want children at all

Four years slipped by after the divorce. Emily bumped into her ex-mother-in-law in the supermarket.

Is that you, Emily? I hardly recognised you. Been watching you from a distance Is that a baby bump? Youre pregnant?

I am, Emily replied, patting her belly.

Things arent great for Michael. His son was born very weaksomething in the family apparently. His wife ran off and left us with the baby. And you, youre doing this all by yourself?

No, not on my own. I have a family. Sorry, must dashtheyre waiting for me.

Oh, really? Well apologies foreverything

Patience to you

The old mother-in-law watched as Emily walked away, arm in arm with James, her new partner, their little daughterstrikingly like her mumswinging happily between them.

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So, What Are We Doing Here? Why Are We Sneaking Into Someone Else’s House?
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