Find my daughter…
Hello, Newbie, hows life treating you these days, old girl?
Whos this cheeky so-and-so?
Not recognising me? Really? How can you not recognise such a big-shot in the Serious Crime Unit, eh?
Colton, is that you? You pillock!
Its me… Missed you, you know…
Oh, Ill pretend I believe you.
No, I mean itI have missed you. Cant remember the last time someone called me by my first name, never mind my surname. And pillockwhat a term of endearment.
Forgot I used to call you Newbie. Havent used that surname in years. Im Grace Walker now, not Parker.
I know, I know. You really think I wouldnt?
Youre still such a big-shot. Not gonna lie, I am glad to hear from you. Hows it all going then?
Its going. Why wouldnt it be? And youhavent you overstayed your welcome yet in your dear Little Wickenham?
Same old pillockgot too comfortable there in your capital! You a DCI now?
Thats me! Might make Superintendent soon.
Well, good for you, though the brains havent grown. For your information, I keep busy fighting crime.
Won yet?
Still fighting…
Thats an endless battle, new criminals always up and coming, and we, alas, are not eternal.
Nor are the coppers. Its a perpetual war.
Tell me about it. I do miss you, Newbie! I really do. Ive got a nice spot waiting for you up here. Fancy it?
A nice spot? As if! I know what counts as nice in your world. More like sitting on a hot stove.
We chose the job, didnt we? Still, I remember our uni days a lot. Good times, Grace. HonestlyIm building a team. Fancy joining my special branch as a detective?
Oh, wonderful. If only I could run these days. Im tipping the scales at a hundred kilos now.
You cant be! I dont believe you.
No need to. Picture me, twenty years ago, young and slim. I dont mindonly from a distance, though.
I dont want distance. I want to see you, all of you, extra kilos and all. I always valued your head, not your looks.
Cheeky sod.
Thats me. Grace, if you turn me down, Ill send someone to fetch you. And if you refuse again, expect some threatsjust so you know.
Threats to a public officer? Ill see you insideput worse away than you.
No, you havent put away ones like me. Im rather important now. Paperwork has already been sent your wayhave a read. Ponder it, mate.
Major Grace Ann Walker, formerly Parker, stopped expecting any big surprises in life. She had two issues: a stubborn son and extra weight. Shed long since parted with her husbandthe marriage had been a strange, temporary blip, like shed just ticked a box: tried it, didnt like it.
Shed come here following her heartor so she told herself. Shed grown up in this little village, where her mother still lived. She found a position on her own, wanting to make a difference, fighting crime where shed grown up. Romance, conscience, and love all drew her hereher future husband worked nearby, too.
But now…well, shed stayed too long. Tired of wading through domestic disputes, tired of weekends that barely existed, tired of seeing the same faces. Fridays always ended in some incident or another, leading to work on the weekends. She often wished she could just switch her phone off, forget who she was for a while.
Her son no longer waited at home; he was off trying grown-up life, if not very successfully. But she had her lovely fridge, her sofa, the telly, and her parrot, Percythe only man whod listen to her woes these days.
Percy used to do so in silence, but lately hed started chattering so much that she had to cover his cage with a towel. But hed still mutter Rubbish, all of you! or Sod em all! and Percy, lets have a bite! Hed even added, Shut up, you wally! to his repertoire.
So, the sofa, telly, and a plate of treats had become Grace Walkers favourite companions at forty-five, as chief of the local police. Investigations she managed just fine, her detectives mind never let her down, the DCs ran errands, and a patrol car took her out for the serious stuff.
Physical fitness wasnt required in their district any more; just paperwork, crime statistics, and the public engagement that looked great on reports but in practice was mostly tick-box exercises.
Today, though, Grace comes home feeling unsettled.
Sod em all! Percys starving! the parrot squawks when she steps in.
You really get me, Percy, Grace sighs, opening the fridge. Oh, look at thatmeatballs with pasta and grapes!
She shuffles to the kitchen, keen to sitor better, lie downwith a reheated dinner balanced on her stomach.
Best part of the day!
She puts the pan on, tosses in breadcrumbsshe loves pasta fried with breadcrumbsbut then the phone rings.
Grace Ann Walker, good evening! Am I disturbing you?
Its Albert Gregory, someone from the Crown Prosecution Service. Shed love to say hes disturbing her, but hes not someone she can be blunt with.
No worries. Im listening, Albert.
Words reached us youre thinking of moving on. Is it true?
Gossip spreads fast in their world.
Not really. Ive been approached, but I havent decided anything.
Ah. Then my info was off. Apologies. Still, if you do decide, let me know first, please. My son-in-laws got a bit of a situation in your area. Hed love a transfer. Just keeping an eye out…
Of course, no problem. Meanwhile, the breadcrumbs are burning, and Grace starts chewing a meatball.
Typical! So many years given to this place, so many thank-yous, so many people helpedand as soon as you mention moving on, they only ring to stake their claim, or push you out. Like flies around honey…
Theyre already divvying up her seat, the lot of them.
The pastas clumping together; she slices it, dumps it in the pan, oil splatters, burning her handshe tosses the spatula down with a huff, flops into a chair, shaking her burnt hand.
Mood ruined.
Rubbish, all of you! Rubbish! Percy shrieks from on top of the fridge.
Couldnt agree more, Grace sings, sticking her hand under the cold tap.
No, dinner on the sofa is sacred. No one can take that from her. She eats slowly, savouring it, though the TV doesnt really helpher mind keeps racing.
Suppose I do accept London. Thatd surprise everyone. Thoughwho, really? The locals are practically waiting already. Still, would Colin Colton be happy to see her now? Shes skipped the last five reunionsshes doubled in size and prefers their memories of the old her.
Truth is, she was never skinny, even thenbut she had a shape. But maybe it wasnt that which drew people. Maybe it was her sharp mind, her humour, her sociability. And always being ready for seminars.
In first-year Roman Law classes, Dr Gribbon really put the fear in all of them. Youd sit in a seminar as silent as a mouse, dreading being picked. He loved to torment students. Hed go round the circle, dragging out the moment, nasal as anything:
Right, lets begin anew…
And up shed get, Parker Grace, thinking her named been called, and shed start answering, quite pleased with herself. Gribbon always looked baffledhed not even called her yet. It happened again and again. His lets begin anew became her nicknameNewbie Parker. The group snickered, whispered, but she was too scared to hear.
So, Newbie stuck all the way to graduation. She reckoned, apart from Gribbon, shed never really feared anyone else. The group was a good crowd and shes still in touch with some.
Photos never went onlinewhy bother?
The more she reflected, the more she realised her life had become monotonous. The whole routine was predictableeven the crime.
Pete? Her son? Well…at least some positives. He and his silly Kate were renting a flat. If she left, theyd move here.
Here?! Shed never manage, not with her sofa and this place. Then again
Coltons thrown a real spanner in the works! Shed surprise herself most of all by leaving.
Maybe its this bog shes stuck in thats making her fat, she ponders.
The idea of losing weight always comes after dinner. Sprawled on the sofa, empty plate on her belly, theres no energy left. Only thing that might lift her is a second plate of grapes.
***
Next day, she rings Colton.
Colin, do you really not test fitness? I wasnt joking about the weight.
Want a wider chair? Look, I want your mind, not your waistline…
I dont want it either. But…
Always with the doubts! The jobs waiting, Grace. Theres plenty to keep you busy. I guarantee the extra pounds will go.
Maybe, but my body refuses to let go of what its stored…
Seen the salary? And its not any old job, you know, this departments special, Grace. There are people queuing up for your spot. No ambitions left?
My main ambition is to shed weight.
Well, youll do that here. Promise! Ill keep you busy.
What will I live for then, without a dream?
And so, half-afraid, Grace Walker makes preparations for London. She asks for leave, keeping her options open. She doesnt even offer the flat to her sonshe just needs someone to look after Percy.
Pete, how are things?
Fine, Mumwatching some silly film.
Your whole lifes a daft joke.
Mum, dont start! Why dyou ring? Are you after your loan back?
Thatd be nice, but Ill let it go if you two take Percy for a bit. I have to go to London.
For long?
Not sure yet.
Does Gran know? We were at hers at the weekend and she didnt mention.
You were at Grans? Blimey…didnt give her a heart attack?
Mum…
Alright, alright. Anyway, pop round for Percy, get his food, take care. Hes the only one who understands me.
Still swearing, is he? The bird, not you…
Occasionally, but not too bad.
Katell be shocked.
Shell live…
Grace wasnt mad about her sons girlfriend. Shed never been shy herself, but seeing her sons choice was another thing tattoos snaked from Kates temple all the way to her chest and hands. Probably everywhere else too. Spoke in a syrupy little-girls voice, worked as a hairdressercalled herself a stylistand smoked.
Yeah, probably shocked by the odd swear word.
On top of fighting with Petewho decided, after the army, that hed skip uni and go into businessthere was this girl. Grace never understood what the business was; something computer-related. She had no idea how he planned to support himselfor Kate.
Theyd argued bitterly. All her expectations, dashed. He ended up moving out to live independently. She didnt speak for a month, then caved and called. They made up, but she didnt invite him backlet him try adulthood. Hed pop round once a week, have a meal, shed slip him some cashon loanhed tell her life news, then vanish for another week.
Percy left with Pete. The parrot sulked, fluffed up, and seemed more upset by her leaving than her own son.
Captain Andrew Collins, her right hand, saw her offlugged the suitcase and updated her on some case from Mitcham Road the night before.
Well, Andy, hang in there. Ive faith in you. Iwell, Ill see what London thinks of me.
***
She arrives in London at dawn. Colton promised to send someone but calls in the morninghes coming himself.
Shes standing on the platform, suitcase in hand; then, she spots him, glancing up and down the carriagesout of uniform, looking sharp in an open blazer. He jogs past her, comes back, glances over her, doesnt recognise.
Grace made an effort to look okay: touched up her face in the loo, wore her new grey tracksuit under a long cardigan. Nothing she could do about her limp hairno way was she dragging a curling iron onto the train.
Oi, posh boyopen your eyes.
Colin stares, then his eyebrows leap up.
Blimey, Grace…didnt spot you!
Decent person would recognise you by your eyes. I told you Id grown fatter. Regret inviting me yet?
Regret? Never. Good to see you, Newbie! he gives her a hug. Shes half a head shorter than him. Well, youve filled out, Ill say that.
Cheek.
I know, but its the truth. Sorry! he grabs her bags. Come on.
A cheek stays a cheek, even after apologising, mutters Grace.
She trails after him, suddenly uncertain. Good thing she hasnt signed any transfer papersshell visit, then run straight back to her little sofa and her provincial office. Sod London hassle.
Lets find a silver lining to these extra kilos.
Such as?
Means youre staying at ours tonight. My wife wont mind.
Oh, thanks mate. Now I feel the love…
Is a hundred kilos really so much shes unrecognisable? Yes, at uni shed been much smaller, but time passes.
He races ahead with the bags, then stops to wait for her. The car parks a fair walk.
My wifes dying to show you the town. Planning a whole cultural itinerary. Anywhere you want to go?
The zoo, Grace says, out of breath.
I told her as much. Youre here to work, though, not sightsee.
Grace is pretty sure she wont stay.
A low, steel-coloured Volvo is parked up.
Yours?
Yup.
Gone soft?
Just saved, thats all.
If you say so.
He stashes the bags, holds the door for her.
You never miss a trick, do you? You see right through people.
He fires the engine.
Honestlythe house was my wifes inheritance, we sold that. Shes got a car, too. Just so you dont roll your eyes.
What sort of house?
Out in Surrey, replies Colin, like thats that.
Then he gets serious.
Pays better here. Ranks higher, too. Andbonuses.
How so?
Youll see. Dont hold back now, Grace. He glances at her midsection with a smirk, as if to say, Time for change.
And housing?
Oh, yeah! That too. Service accommodations sorted once you sign on, but theres a place already for you, not far from us. A sergeants moving out soonVad Vince Little. He knows youre arriving.
Wait, you mean Ill be living with a bloke?
No, hes just got to collect his things, might pop in and out. Moving in with a mate. Dont panic, old girl; no ones after your lovely body.
Shame. I was hoping…
Colin grins.
Probably not the best reunion, Grace thinks. He went straight for the weight, but hes not wrong. Still, hes made the effort: set her up with a place, planned her stay, probably pestered higher-ups to get her in. Saw her on the platform and nearly fainted. Hed have to answer for her, his own recommendation.
Look, Colin. I havent decided yet. Give me a bit to think. Im nothing special, and give me time to see if I even like London.
He gives her a sideways glance.
Already backing out? Come on, Newbie, weve got big cases ahead! Fortune favours the brave, remember? Ive never met braver. You werent even scared of Gribbon!
And for the first time, Grace smiles. Yes, shed been brave at uni, sharp as anything. Shed helped Colin in practice in Surrey, and hed admired her for her skill and intuitionnot in a romantic way, but as a professional.
They ride a while to his home, a faceless block of flats. Hes in a hurry, says hell drop her to his wife, and rush off.
Which he does. Lizhis wife, a friendly blonde in size 12 shortsbuzzes around their bright, roomy flat. Pale, warm laminate, light wood furniture, exotic houseplants, three bedrooms, a huge kitchen kitted out with appliances.
Gosh, Colin talked about you so much! Bothered our boss for ages to bring you in.
And he is…?
Chief at HQ. Youll meet.
They settle her in a spare room. Grace takes a shower. Liz is incredibly easy-going for someone so glamorous. Their two little girls are off in a dance camp.
Colins lucky to have you, remarks Grace after a delicious lunch. Shed love to just lie down, but feels awkward. Lovely place.
Not ours yeton the mortgage, but should finish next year. We were in my old council flat until recently. Londons dear.
Thats what worries me. Im still deciding…
Lets drop the Mrs Walker, Mrs Colton thing, yeah?
Fine by me, shrugs Grace.
You should stay. I mean, its Colin that really cares, but someone awful is eyeing your spotsucking up to the boss. Hed be dead weight.
Theres always one…
And Colin always says, If only we had more like Parker!
Now Walker.
Thats what he means. Says there are too many chancers in the police now. Bought degrees, no instinct. But the cases heretheyre proper, and tough.
Where do you work, Liz?
Oh, Colin didnt tell you? He considers my job a bit of a hobbyIm a fitness coach and nutritionist.
She raises her eyebrows, waits.
No, thanksIll cope with the weight myself, Grace laughs.
As you wish, but it would do our cultural plan a world of good.
Liz, I just need a nap after the trip, Grace delays.
She has no clue what comes next. She dozes off; later, she and Colin spend three full hours on the balcony, talking casework. He needs her, tells her the works worth it. He isnt sugar-coating the systems flaws. No golden handshakes. Only now does she realise how much he relies on her.
What else were you going to do in Little Wickenham? Wait for retirement and diabetes? Here, theres the chance for a fresh start. London might change everything. Go on, Newbie. Try life anew?
And for some reason, Grace Ann Walker no longer feels offended.
The crimes this unit tackles cut right to her hearttheyre investigating repeated child disappearances across London and the Home Counties. Maybe the cases werent connected, but the increase led to this special team.
Well. Maybe its time to start life anew.
