A Hasty Divorce
Despondent, Andrew watched as Margaret packed her bag and prepared to leave the office. Hed grown so used to their lively, after-six conversationsthose little oasis moments once everyone else had legged it home.
For an entire week, Margaret Collins had been staying late at work, and somehow Andrew found himself lingering too. Not that he had much to dohe just couldnt stand the thought of heading back to his family. His daughter, Lily, was deep in the throes of adolescenceperpetually annoyed, guaranteed to dramatise any criticism, and generally behaving as if the world had purposely set out to offend her.
Interactions with his wife, Susan, were hardly uplifting either. These days, she exuded a nervous energy, constantly bustling around the house. As soon as she got in from work, shed dash to the kitchen and start slicing salad, chopping meat, washing dishes. In those moments, Andrew wouldnt dare go nearSusan had the volatility of an exposed electrical wire. Mention that the tomatoes could be diced a bit more finely, and shed shoot a look that would qualify as a rare predator on the highstreet. Daring to bring up the state of the floors? Equivalent to attempted suicide.
Wife and daughter spent their evenings bickering, sniping at each other like two feral tabby cats. If Andrew dared intervene, hed end up shredded for his trouble.
Explosive wives are a good thing, mate, his friend Dave laughed when Andrew vented about the home situation. Keeps things livelyno chance of boredom at bedtime.
Yeah, lively, Andrew replied flatly. So lively I can barely remember the last time anything even happened. Shes got energy for bickering and chores, but as soon as were alone, shes out like a light.
Then wake her up! Should I come round and give you a lesson? Dave winked. You know what women are likelittle tenderness, a few kisses, suddenly sleeps the last thing on anyones mind.
Honestly, I dont much fancy her these days, Andrew admitted. Susans got well, frumpy since she switched jobs, put on weight. Suddenly got old overnight. Constantly nagging, empty-eyed. And Lilys started her angsty phase at the same timebrilliant timing, that.
She got a good wage at this new place? Dave asked, intrigued.
Oh, you know what they pay women for office adminprobably the same as before. Though, she did start putting extra towards the mortgage. Half a year or so and well actually own the place.
Well, there you are, Dave nodded. Its just a phase. Mortgages will do thatdrain the life out of you. Once the bank releases its stranglehold, thingsll sort right out.
The conversations with Margaret Collins became Andrews sanctuary. Hed help her wrap up her tasks, chat about this and thatthose two or three hours after work were the highlight of his day.
Margaret was so easy to talk toalways relaxed, always turned out nicely, and her perfume well, he couldve done with bottling it and selling it for ready cash. Margaret was a single mum to her daughter, Harriet, who was the same age as Lily, so their chats often veered towards the horrors of teenage girls.
Its all hormones and drama, Margaret smiled sympathetically whenever Andrew poured out his tragic tales of Lily. All you need is patience, love, and a dash of attention. Youll get through itspecialists advice.
Specialist? Andrew raised an eyebrow. Your Harriets an angel then, is she?
So far, yes, Margaret grinned, but Im not complacent. My niece, though, drove her parents around the bend during her teen years.
Well, at least Im not suffering alone, Andrew sighed. Sometimes I wonder how much more I can taketantrums, sulks, demands. She used to be such a sweet girl! So kind and well-behaved
Oh, mines sweet for now, said Margaret with a laugh, but Im not under any illusions.
Theyd talk about everything and nothing, sometimes brushing hands or knees by accident, both pretending it hadnt happenedbut Andrew felt it more potently than any steamy scene on the TV. Certainly more than his wifes rare, obligatory hugs.
Hed become addicted to their evening conclave, counting down the hours till their dates, as he privately styled them. So when, at six oclock, Margaret abruptly packed up to go home, Andrews heart sank.
Heading off? he asked, surprised.
Yep. Going home tonight, Margaret replied, smiling.
What about all this work? he pushed, faintly indignant.
Margaret chuckled and thanked himshe wouldnt have got through half her tasks that week without his help.
But wait Andrew scrambled for words, unable to comprehend the ending of their little paradise.
Margaret pausedshe grasped Andrews confusion, but searched for a gentle way to explain.
Andrew, she said quietly, I think we should stop our little chats.
Margaret! Youre not serious? Andrews panic was transparent, and he instantly regretted how much he was giving away. It unsettled himthe thought of the evenings evaporating.
First off, none of this Margaret business, she smiled, and secondly you know our conversations had started to cross a line.
Andrew flushed. Maybe not anything improper, but the intimacy was undeniable. Casual hand-on-knee moments, the charge of perfume close byit was headier than anything hed ever felt with Susan.
I thought you liked our talks, he muttered.
I do, she nodded. But its not on. Youre married, Andrew. No entanglements with married men. Ill chat at work, but never let it get personal. If we dont set boundaries, Ill have to stop speaking to you altogether.
Andrew saw that she was resolute, but fancied there was just the slightest suggestion that things could have been different, if only well, he werent married.
Time passed. At work, Margaret breezed through her days, as if those evenings had never existed. Andrew, however, was haunted by the memories. He grew increasingly resentful towards Susanher existence alone now an impediment to happiness with the thrilling Margaret.
Home life deteriorated further. Arguments were daily. Their love life evaporated entirelyhe no longer wanted to touch or even talk to Susan, and her previously delicious suppers now tasted bland. Hed taken her cooking for granted; she could conjure a steak and kidney pie from tinned beans and stale bread, but lately, everything she made seemed leaden.
Then one lunchtime, Margaret asked the men on the team if anyone could help her move flat. Andrew pounced, volunteering at once.
Do you know anyone with a van? Margaret asked.
Yepno problem at all, he lied. Of course he didnt, but hed pay for one if he had to.
Brilliant. When are you free? she beamed.
Anytime! Andrew declared.
Margaret and Harriets new flat was immaculatea spacious three-bed with sunlight pouring in, the payoff for a family swap and a few months of diligent renovations.
Its stunning! Andrew gushed. Just you and Harriet here?
Yes, Margaret laughed. I think well manage on the space.
Room for someone else, maybe? Andrew blurted out, reddening furiously.
Margaret caught the suggestion immediately. Shaking her head, she said firmly, Lets set some ground rules, Andrew. Youre a lovely blokeIm lucky to work with you. But youre married. I wont even humour the thought of an affair. End of. Any hint of it, and even our work friendships over.
He pressed on, nervously. If I werent marriedwould you consider it then?
No ifs allowed, Andrew. Youre married, thats all that matters, she insisted, but looked away for half a second.
That tiny gesture shot hope straight through Andrews chest. On a rush of adrenaline, he leaned in and kissed her.
Margaret briefly returned the kiss, then jerked away, tears shining in her eyes. Dont play games with me, Andrew! Yes, Ive got feelings for youbut I cant, I wont, let it go further. Go home to your wife. I mean it!
But Andrew felt oddly light. If the only obstacle was his marriage to Susanwell, then good riddance.
Ill be backsoon, he told Margaret, walking away with all the confidence of an estate agent whos just heard the word gazumping. He went home, heart thumping, finally sure of his future.
Susan didnt even need provoking; she was already bristling as he walked in.
Youre never home, Andrew! And when you are, all you do is scoff your dinner and scroll through your phone. Why do I bother? You cant be bothered with Lilys issues either!
If you dont see the point of me as a husband, then maybe we should call it a day, Andrew replied, sounding cruel even to himself. The rest unravelled with the grim efficiency of a British rail timetableone argument sliding into the next.
Lily stormed in, red-eyed. Stop shouting for once! Honestly, just get divorceditd be better for everyone!
Susan turned to her, trying to placate her sobbing daughter, but Andrewd tuned out, already rehearsing sweet speeches for Margaret.
That evening, emboldened by love, Andrew raised divorce seriously for the first time.
Susan, devastated, begged him to reconsider. Andrew, its just a rough patch. Works heaving, Lilys impossible, I can barely cope. Please, lets not do anything hastylets just wait it out. I know I havent been attentive
I dont know whos to blame, Andrew shrugged, cold as a January morning, but I dont want this anymore. Theres someone else. Please, let me go.
Susan sobbed uncontrollably. But Andrews mind was made uphe only wanted freedom. He explained the maintenance would be paid automatically each month from his wagesno arguments.
Well stay here then, Lily and me? Susan asked quietly.
Yes, Andrew replied. No contest about the flat, but Id like to keep the car.
If you sign the flat over to me, I wont fight you for the car, Susan retorted, suddenly all business, and the rest of the mortgage is on me.
Andrew was briefly baffledhow would she pay the mortgage alone? Susan explained her office offered employee loans. With that, she could pay off the remainder, and his name would be off everything. As a bonus: no interest and a fast-track to a clean break.
In a different mood, Andrew mightve mulled it over, wriggled for a better deal. But freedom, and Margaret, were all that mattered.
We should draw up our settlement before the divorce is official, Susan cautioned. Itll all be over quicker if we have no disputes.
Susan couldnt believe her own composure; practical answers where another woman might have had a meltdown. Maybe cold, hard work had taught her detachmentor maybe maternal instinct: if her husband had gone daft, at least Lily and she deserved a roof over their heads.
This cant be happening to me, Susan kept thinking as she filled out forms and signed documents. Her loan came through in days; their agreement was signedand she became the flats legal owner.
The divorce went through with minimal dramaSusan solemn but dignified, confirming her acceptance in front of the magistrate. Again, she found herself oddly numb, surprised to not dissolve into tears or cling to hope.
Andrew stayed with his parents. His mother was shell-shockedshed liked Susan, despite the obvious strains latelybut refrained from saying much.
At work, Andrew kept his distance from Margaret, knowing shed only talk to him if, and only if, he was properly divorced. He forced himself to keep it professional, hoping that indifference would make her miss him.
It seemed to workMargaret looked a little put out, and Andrew received his decree absolute one morning (he booked a half-day for the thrill of it). That evening, he met Margaret outside the office, soon-to-be bachelor and all.
Nothing stands in our way now, he beamed, grabbing her bags. Let me give you a lift.
Margarets eyebrows shot up. AndrewIm not following.
He flourished his divorce papers. She stared, failing to grasp whether she should feel flattered or horrified.
My marriage was dead long ago, he said, but when I met you, I realised I deserved happiness.
Its all a little sudden, Margaret replied, hesitating. Im not sure Im ready to leap into anything right now.
Andrew smiled and suggested dinner. Lets start with that.
Margaret finally agreedHarriet was at her grans, so she could enjoy an adult night out. The evening was lovely, the food delicious, and conversation warm. Andrew confessed hed lost his head over her; Margaret admitted shed been terrified to like him, having never intended to compromise anyones family.
After dinner, they strolled the high street and Andrew, for once, didnt rush anything. He really liked her, enough to take things slow.
They began going out most eveningsrestaurant here, cinema therethough Margaret often demurred. Ive got my daughter, Lily, shed say. She needs my attention, especially now. (Apparently being the centre of adolescent drama is a universal human right.)
Eventually, Andrew suggested integrating their lives.
Dyou think maybe, one day, we might live together? he broached.
Oh Im not sure, Margaret frowned. Harriets always had me to herselfId have to ease her in.
Andrew nodded and proposed a gentle group outing. New Marvel films out this weekend. Why dont we three go? Well have popcorn, then hit the arcade.
Margaret agreed, and Harrietcharismatic and remarkably civilisedtook it all in her stride. Andrew couldnt help but compare her with his own stroppy Lily, but thankfully managed to keep the observation to himself.
Gradually, weekends together became the norm. Eventually, Margaret agreed to try living togetherbut with caveats: Andrew, you have to be gentle. Harriets used to our little unit.
Absolutely, Andrew promised, moving in with giddy excitement. The flat was a showroomimmaculate, every detail pristine. He marvelled at the air, scented delicately with Margarets perfume. In the midst of admiring his new domestic paradise, she dropped a bombshell.
Just a reminderHarriet and I are off on holiday next week. Two weeks beach time.
Andrew remembered, but ventured, Wouldnt our first holiday be perfectall three of us?
Margaret frowned. You want to come?
Of course! Took annual leave and all. Loads of tickets left.
She shook her head, Its not about the plane. Harriet and I go away alone every summer. Tradition. Just us. She needs this time with me.
Andrew didnt like it, but accepted. Surely, now they were living together, he could expect a bit more attention?
Nope. Those two weeks felt endless. He counted days, convinced that Margaret would rush back into his arms. Instead, she walked into the flat, took one look, and glared.
Andrew! Whys the flat a tip? I cleaned before we left.
Well, you werent here, he said, failing to seem apologetic. No one to tidy. Ill get Harriet to clean, and we can
Margaret looked fit to burst. I expected to return to a clean home. My daughter isnt your skivvy!
Ouch. Andrew hid his disappointment. And while Susans recipes had lost their sparkle before the divorce, Andrew had dreams of Margarets cooking. Instead, she barely cooked at all.
He tried to voice his frustrations. You never make me lunch. Or soups. I need a hot meal.
Margaret laughed. Make one, then. We eat at work or school, and for dinner its usually yoghurt, eggs or a salad.
Thats not enough for me! Andrew protested.
Margaret frowned, finally realising he was genuinely miffed. The thought of crafting meat pies or stews for an adult man had never crossed her mindsurely, he was capable himself?
Their first proper row ensued, ending with Margaret saying, You can sleep on the sofa tonight.
No chance. If youre chucking me out the bedroom, Ill go altogether.
Suit yourself, Margaret said, returning to her phone.
Andrew, convinced Margaret would cave in, waited for her call. She didnt ring that night; nor the next. With the weekend ahead, and neither going to the office, he cracked and texted her.
Can I come home? I feel like you dont want me back!
Margaret sighed, already halfway through packing up for the day.
Andrew youre right, she replied gently. This time apart with Harriet showed me: we dont need anyone else. Im sorry but youll have to collect your things.
Andrew put up a fight, using his greatest eloquence to plead for his place in her life. But Margaret had made up her mind.
Youll have to learn to live without me, she said quietly.
***
Andrew dragged out the move, hoping shed stop himshe never did. She clearly wanted him gone.
Sorry, Andrew, Margaret said, not unkindly. We tried. It wasnt meant to be.
Heartbroken, Andrew loaded up his car, driving aimlessly around town. Suddenly, he found himself back outside his old family flat, watching the light glowing in the windows.
Perhaps
He parked and, with a mix of dread and hope, rang the bell.
Susan answered, surprised but not unfriendly. Well, this is a surprise. Fancy a cuppa?
The place smelt wonderfulfresh paint, roast potatoes. Susan had decorated, and it was warm, inviting.
Whats that face for? Susan teased, dishing up. Hungry? Meat and potatoes?
Fantastic, Andrew replied eagerly, then looked sheepish.
She watched him wolf down his meal, entertained. Susan, he noticed, looked goodslimmer, less drawn.
Wheres Lily? he asked; hed missed her more than he realised.
Class trip to York, Susan smiled.
For a moment, Andrew fancied shed be glad if he stayeda second chance, perhaps.
Susan, did you ever think we could try again? the question slipped out before he could stop it.
Not once, Susan shook her head. And dont even try. Ive started a new life, youre not part of it. Youre welcome to see Lily, but no more than that.
Are you angry about the divorce? Andrew asked, earnest. Because Im willing to wait
Dont wait, she sighed, sadness in her eyes. Its over for me. I dont resent you, but Lily and I dont think about you anymorebeyond the child maintenance texts twice a month.
Andrew turned away, tears threatening. He didnt want to look pathetic, but the emptiness was painfula life in which nobody needed him anymore, not even a bit.
He thanked her for the meal, took his leave, lingering at the door in the hope shed call him back. She didnt.
Down the stairs he trudged, sat in his car, and slumped onto the wheelrealising, far too late, just how easy it is to end up alone, and not be missed by anyone at all.
