Besss Wrath
– Bess is coming! Oh, things are about to get lively!
The most sharp-tongued women of the block, gathered on the bench near the entrance, sat up straight, relishing the anticipation of a proper show. Opportunities like this didnt come every day.
Bessformidable and severe. She never aired her familys dirty laundry, and everyone in the block knew it by now. Shed first arrived, barely out of school, from a rural part of Somerset to work at the local textiles mill. Shed been here ever since, forever waiting for her own council flat, which, truthfully, was now an impossible hope. Back in the day, mill workers used to get housing, but then the mess beganmill buyouts, layoffs. They were lucky the place still stood. Thered been times they all went hungry together in their boarding house, and no one had anything to lend, waiting for wages that seemed a lifetime in coming.
Yet Bess never lost her grit. Shed clean houses, mop the stairway floors by night, do whatever she mustand survived, helping others as best she could. The help was never much, perhaps, but childrenhers or the neighbourswere never hungry on her watch.
Before every holiday, Bess would go door to door, rounding up the menfolk:
Come on, Mr. Palmer, and you too, Fred, whats shaking in those pockets? Therell be beer money dont worry, but the children will have their celebration! Youd best not be ashamed to look them in the eye later. They wont stay small forever. Theyll remember, you mark my words!
No one dared defy Bessnot even the most cantankerous blokes. Behind her back, they called her Old Besss Wrath and were terrified ever since shed cooled hot-headed Mr. Palmer down by smacking him in the forehead so hard he didnt get up until nightfall.
Anyone meeting Bess Matilda Evans for the first time was left speechless.
And there was reason!
Nearly six feet tall, Bess wore battered, over-stretched size ten shoes. Not out of stinginess, but out of principleladies shoes in that size were almost impossible to find, and Bess stubbornly refused mens brogues. Her husband once brought her those shoes down from London, spending every penny shed saved for the familys new clothes.
What have you done, you berk? Bess had gasped, opening the box, then stood admiring those fine shoes.
Bessie, you need something for yourself, too. Not everything for us all the time.
And what about the childrens uniforms? Just sorting it all will be a nightmare!
Well manage.
For two weeks after that, George, Besss husband, busted his back at the docks, but finished just in time for the start of term. The Evans children were the best-dressed at their first day of school. Lucy was beaming, fingers grazing her grand bows, tugging at her brother:
Act properly! Dont shame Mum!
Bess had twins after nearly giving up hope of having children altogether. Ten years of hospital visits, ducking neighbours questions, silent suffering. She was ashamedin front of George, the family, famous for its fertility, and most of all herself. She called herself useless, a dead end, unable even to bear a child.
Of course she blamed herself. It never even crossed her mind that the problem could be George, or both. She loved him, pitied him, but berated herself. Shed even shattered the only mirror in the place rather than look into the eyes she thought were the colour of a stormy sky: sometimes blue, sometimes black, depending on her mood.
Somewhere, wherever babies come from, it was decided that Besss time had not yet passed. The children arrived just when shed stopped waiting.
Everyone in the delivery room wept, watching Besss huge frame shaking with sobs, clutching two screaming tiny bundles to her broad chestsmaller still in those mighty arms.
An old professor, brought in for a consult, simply shook his head in wonder:
Ive seen my share of miracles, but thisespecially with those odds! Its all because of you, dear. When the heroes are gone, the heroines will step up in their stead! But lets not get ahead of ourselves. What a woman! She wanted it, and now its hers. Thats how its done, girls!
Afterwards, Bess fairly glowed, as if some great floodlight had been flicked on in their dark, tired block.
Wasting no time, she made everyone redecorate the shared corridors:
Children cant grow up in filthits just not right!
No one dared object, though they rolled their eyes in confusion.
The boarding house had never been particularly squalid. Once a year, before Easter, the tenants whitewashed, scrubbed windows, paintedclinging to the traditions theyd brought from home, back when they were newcomers to the city.
As her children grew, Bess started tidying more than just the corridorsshe straightened minds, too.
Watch your tongue! One more drunken curse in front of the kids and Ill teach you how to speak your mothers language without filth. Understand? shed warn a tipsy neighbour in her smooth, dangerous way.
Everyone obeyed. No one wanted to cross hera thunder-woman. Some grumbled, but none openly protested. You lock horns with that kind, youll never find yourself again.
Bess soon became the unofficial judge for all disputes in their block. Neighbours came to her with complaints about husbands, family squabbles. She patched up feuds, kept an eye on troubled homes to make sure at least the children were clean and fed.
No one had ever taught her about family mediation or social services. Life had forced skills far from any civilised conflict solution. But Bessuntrained, unlettered in these thingsseemed simply to know when to step in, what to say, what to do. For it, she was respected, appreciated, and just a little feared.
Youre a witch, Bess! a neighbour would say, wiping away tears, come to complain about the menor the kids. You always know what to say, what to do… I just cant manage like you.
No need! Bess poured a mug of tea, set it before the woman with a shiner under her eye, and offered the biscuit tin. So what is it this time?
Oh, Bess
And so life went on.
Time rolled by, the world changed, but life in the block somehow stood still, like stagnant water in an old pondalways the same. Work. Home. The odd little holiday.
Her one joyher children, Lucy and Paul, healthy and smart.
Takes after her mum! said George, proud.
Bess would blush, wave him off, but everyone knew: George, a good head shorter than her, was always the head of the Evans house, and Bess allowed no talk otherwise.
If I were single, thatd be something else. But as long as theres a husband, hes the head and thats that!
Neighbours would whisper,
That Bessshes got it all sorted. Thats how you live, proper!
Bess knew about the rumours, but paid them no mind. She never gossiped about her marriage, spoke little about her children, never bragged or moaned. So what, theyre growing? Everyone was once a child. Why the fuss if a youngster goes a bit rogue? You have to find the path back to their heart.
Shed seen enough to know these things happened to everyone.
Take Jean at No. 12her sons in prison, fifth year now. Why? Because Jean threw him out when she found out hed fallen in with a bad crowd. Bess tried to persuade her to send him to Jeans mum for a while, just to get him away, but Jean wouldnt listen. So now she makes the long trips to the prison and waits for parole. Maybe hell be released early.
And then there was Sally Peterson and her Alicethat was real trouble, and Bess still got angry tears remembering it. How could a mother ruin her daughters life so?
Alice was a striking lass, all the boys were after her. But she wanted something elsedreamed of becoming a doctor, though the studies were hard. Sally talked her into dropping it: Why bother? Better to have a trade in hand right now. Sally insisted she wouldnt help with university and Alice gave in, took a job at the shop where Sally sorted it for her. Within six months, she met Peter there and got pregnant. His family wanted nothing to do with her. While Peter pleaded with them, Sally browbeat her daughter, forced her to get rid of the baby. Claimed Peter had come round before he left, given her money, and asked her to persuade Alice. To prove it, Sally flashed a suspicious wad of cash Alice knew she shouldnt have. How could Alice know Sally had taken out a loan? Alice couldnt reach Peter and, frightened, agreed at last. She had nowhere to go, and whod want her with a child? It all went badly. Sally now pulls out her thinning hair, while Alice is a shadowPeter never forgave her for not waiting. Worse, when he found out Alice could never have children after that, he punched a wall bloody and left. Eventually, he came back, but this time she sent him away. Why hold him back? Let him find someone else. Now Alice is alone, unwanted, except by her mother. They live together, not speaking, a vision of Alices lost child standing between them. They both blame themselves, and rightly so, but the grief is bitter beyond measure.
By contrast, Bess was rock and shelter to Paul and Lucyunshakable.
No one knew how she managednot even her.
You have to understand your child, Bess once said, flipping the kettle off the stove, catching her only friend, Annies, eye as she poured coffee. But how, when at eighteen your son brings home a girl just as lost as he is, announcing its love, they cant live without each other? What do you docrush him, explain its too soon, he needs to study, to stand on his own two feet? Yet you see in his eyes: refuse now and youll lose him forever. And then what do you do? You do nothing. You sit them both down and try to work out how to help those daft kids get by, without splitting apart before they start.
You managed it.
By what strength, Annie? By what heart? Near all of mine went into getting them started. Now alls settled: Pauls got a proper job, finished his degree last springyou remember visiting then. And Natalie keeps busy too, picking up work. Lucy and I help, of course. Tobys still littleill half the time, barely in nursery.
Hows Natalies mum?
Still wont talk to her. Cursed her when she found out Natalie was expecting and never looked back. What a teacher! No heart, no sense. Her own daughter! Yes, they were too young, yes, mistakes were made. But what, never forgive? If Natalie hadnt had that child, we wouldnt have Toby, and Paul wouldnt have found his motivation. He almost quit university.
What? How?
He was going to join his father on the rigssaid he didnt want to be a burden, needed to earn for a home.
And you?
I told him theres a time for everything. Hed have slogged as a labourer, like George, but this wayhes an engineer. Real prospects, real money.
How did you get by with Natalie all that time?
Oh, easy. Nothing to quarrel about. Her own mum chucked her outcame to me with nothing, not even spare knickers. What, was I supposed to turn on her? Ive got my own daughter, havent I? We all mucked in. I never quarrelled, stayed out of their little spatsthose arent for mothers to meddle in. If something serious, I was there, but otherwise, let them sort it out. Natalies clever, she cottoned on quick. She knows if its real trouble, Im right beside her. Otherwisenot my business.
And Lucy?
Same old. Still nothing new. She and her husband go from one doctor to the next, no luck yet.
Stay strong, Bessie, remember yourselfyou thought it was hopeless too, and look how you ended up. Wonderful children! Maybe two at once. It will happen in its time.
From your lips to Gods ears, Annie. I doubt well hear little feet in our home again. Tobys growing, and Natalie wants another child, but not now. Shes studying, working. I see how Lucy looks at Toby and it tears me apart. Why her? Shed be the most wonderful mother, the worlds ever seen. Shes a marvel with childrenher class parents adore her. But walking into a classroom, seeing other peoples children, holding back tears, wishing for her own
Annie would squeeze Besss hand sympathetically. These kitchen chats had happened more than once.
The years went by.
Her grandson grew, delighting Bess and George. The small garden plot the mill once granted Bess had turned into the familys weekend sanctuary, and Bess traipsed with Lucy from one clinic to another, seeking a miracle for her daughter.
Everything carried on as always, until something happened that left even the hard-nosed neighbours dumbfounded.
George had an affair.
What got into him, even George couldnt say. It began the day he met Diane, a curvy woman with Besss old fire in her eye, who glided past him, tossed her blue eyes his way, and purred: Looking at me like that, Mr. Evans? Thats not right. Youre married!
A few passing encounters, and soon the whole block was buzzing, holding their breaths over what Bess would say or do when she found out. For once, even the gossips fell silentno one dared enlighten Bess. All waitedsome hoped it would blow over, others watched for fireworks.
And Bess stunned them all again. When George confessed, she only flinched, bit her lip to stifle a scream, agony tearing through her heart. When the blackness finally eased, her big, work-worn hands fell limp, and her voice was quieter than George had ever heard.
Go
Where, love?
To her. If thats what fate decided, then thats your place.
And you?
Ive got the children… Toby… Thats still left. Nothing else remains
Head down, not hearing Georges fumbling words, Bess walked out as she was, slippers and all, cutting halfway across town to her sons house. Natalie, opening the door, gasped and hurried her in, stripping Besss rain-drenched clothes:
Mum! You scared me. What happened? Is it Dad?
Bess, coming to herself, broke down. Never, before or since, did she cry so. Natalie, unable to console her, called an ambulance. But even sedatives wouldnt calm Bess, her blood pressure soared. The veteran doctor swore quietly and advised a hospital stay.
Toby saved the day. Rubbing his sleepy eyes, he wandered in, saw his grandma crying, and wailed even louder, until Bess shook herself, pushed off the doctor and went to her grandson: No, no, darling. Dont cry. Grannys here. Lets get some water and tuck up together. By tomorrow, itll all be better. All will be well.
Will it? Toby clung to her.
It will! Bess dismissed the doctor. Im fine. Natalie, get me some valerian and a pillow, please. Ill sleep with Toby tonight. Good night!
By morning, Bess was burning with fever, and for a week became a shadow of herself.
Natalie, off sick from work, nursed her mother-in-law while cursing men who chased youth and beauty over love.
He doesnt even love her, Paul! I know it! He loves Bess! Why, then? Explain itbecause I just cant understand!
Me neither! Paul muttered, swapping cold cloths on his mothers brow. Dad wont listen to me, cant look me in the eye. But he keeps asking after Mum.
Did you argue with him?
How could I not? I honestly dont know what happens next… I can never forgive Dad for hurting Mum like this. How could he?
Natalie held him as he wept.
I would never do this to you.
And I to you.
What now?
We go on. Mum needs solid ground now, not drama.
What do you suggest?
I wasnt going to say, not to upset her, but maybe nows the timeit might give her something to hope for.
Natalies plan worked. When Bess learned shed soon be a grandmother again, she perked up, setting her own grief aside.
The granddaughter, named in her honour, was handed to Bess by Natalie outside the hospital, to Besss utter pride.
Mum, youre treating her like royalty!
How else? My darling! My life! She and Tobytheyre all Ive left
How wrong Bess was! How could she know that fate, whose tangled knots had twisted so many times in her life, would one day smooth itself out, and thread gold through her days where only pain seemed to remain?
The very day Bess collected her granddaughter from the hospital, she heard news of another sonGeorges child with Diane. Natalie, unable to meet her eye, finally admitted shed shared a ward with Diane.
She was about to sign the adoption formsgive him away.
What?! Bess froze in the kitchen, forgetting her errand.
Shed found a new fella, wants to disappear.
But… shed just had him!
I dont know. And hes a sturdy lad, looks so much like Toby, I nearly fainted.
And George?
No idea. Havent seen him. Tell Paul?
Ill handle it. But never mind just nowhow about some cottage cheese? Or a baked pudding?
Whatever! I could eat a horse! Mum
Yes?
How are you?
Dont fret. Ive got reasons to live, love. Plenty.
Bess needed little time to collect herself. Two days with her granddaughter, she packed up again, having cooked enough food for a month.
So much? Youll be back tomorrow, wont you? Natalie, rocking the baby, watched Bess try to wedge another casserole into the fridge.
We’ll see. This way I know you won’t go hungry.
Well never eat all this. What are you planning, Mum?
Bess only shook her head.
Dont ask. I need to see how things go. Time for me to be off.
As Bess strode across the estate toward the entrance, the whole block fell into a hush. What would happen?
She nodded to the neighbours on the bench, ignoring Sally who jumped up to intercept her, and Jean clutching her own tunic, whispering, No, let them sort it themselves. Bess knows best…
The door to Besss flat was ajar. After a deep breath, she mustered her strength and stepped into the tiny foyer. Boots off, she washed her hands, passing an anxious George frozen in the lounge.
What did you name him?
The infant, who had bawled since George brought him home from hospital, quieted instantly in Besss arms.
Cosmo. After my granddad.
Good name. Wont need changing.
What do you mean by that?
They always called me Old Besss Wraththey still will.
Bess
Hush now! Hush! All words can wait. Life will sort itself out.
Expertly swaddling the baby, she walked about, soothing him. George watched, rootless. Nothing would be as before. But there was a future, breathing softly in Besss arms.
Finally, she paused, looking at George with eyes as blue as the midsummer sea, then snorted,
Romeo, you! Unbelievable!
—
Six years later, on the promenade at Brighton, passers-by glance toward a tall, broad-shouldered woman with a booming laugh, shepherding a boisterous family:
Toby, take Vera and Cosmos hands. Lucy, swap with me so I can fasten the strap. These lovely sandals, but theyre hopeless!
Mum, were lucky we found any in your size!
What about me? Im easy! Oh, Millies awake! Lucy, why is she up so early? You only just fed her!
She doesn’t want to miss a thing, with all this going on. Lucy laughed, lifting her daughter from the pram. Why worry? Lets get ice creams, just like when we were little. Remember, you and Dad always got us twobefore and after the beach?
George! Bess called. Ice creams for all!
Right you are! George scooped up little Vera, hurrying off for a treat.
Bess stood at the rail, lifting her face to the sun.
Mum Lucy leant her cheek against her shoulder.
What is it?
How are you?
Im fine, Lucy. All is well as long as youre happy. Youve moved on from your pain. Paul and Natalie are managing. The children are growing… what more could I want?
Mum, how do you let go of a hurt like that? Sorry to ask, but you never know
Bess fixed her with a stern look, then softened instantly as her granddaughter reached out for her:
Best not tempt fate, Lucy, my love. Theres no point pondering the maybes. You have todaylive it, breathe it. Theres so much joy, so much meaning… Why dwell on pain? The grief is gone, vanished. Maybe its not the done thing, but I never listened to others then and wont now. You have to live by your own judgment. Holding on to pain helps no one. Youll say that pain is always present, just look at Cosmo. But thats not true. Hes my son. Would I let darkness hover over one of my own? Never. Does that answer your question?
It does. Mum
Yes?
I love you.
And I you.
Is it really true the neighbours always called you Old Besss Wrath?
Thats right. At least now, its said in kindness. Bess laughed, catching her son as he rushed up. Wheres my ice cream?
Mum, I tried, but it vanished! I’ll fetch you another!
And be quick! Otherwise, youll end up with a sore throat and well be stuck here while everyone else swims. Understood?
The boy giggled, pecked her cheek, and raced away. Bess glanced up at the sun, urging her brood onwards.
Not much time before lunchthree laps to that buoy for me yet!Bess gathered up her skirt and strode toward the shoreline, her laughter rising above the surf as the children squealed and scattered after her. The salt wind tugged at her hair, filling her with the same restless courage that had carried her through a thousand days of storms and heartache.
Behind her, George juggled dripping cones, calling out appeals for order that no one heeded. Lucy, arms full of wriggling toddlers, exchanged a glance with Paula look that said, This is what family is. Noise and chaos, scars and healing, and love that outlasts them all.
Reaching the water, Bess waited for the whole sprawling, mismatched tribe to catch up: sons beside daughters not of her blood but of her heart; grandchildren tracing arcs in the wet sand; her own scarred hands, strong and certain, reaching to gather them near.
All right! she bellowed to the eager, shining faces. On threeinto the sea with you! First one to the waves gets double pudding and the next turn at bathtime singing!
Squeals erupted, small feet kicked sand skyward, Besss voice booming joyful orders as the family surged forward. For a moment, old hurts and neighborhood gossip drifted away like sea-foam. There was nothing in the world but sun, laughter, and the impossible, unbreakable chain that ran from her heart to each of theirs.
As the tide swept in and the sun gleamed gold on her brow, Bess threw back her head, opened her arms wide to the wind, and let the world knowhere was wrath, and here was mercy, twined together and unafraid.
And, in that moment, even the gossips on a distant bench would have agreed: Bess was the storm and the shelter, after all.
