Between Truth and a Dream
Today felt like an island of calm in the flurry of my life. I wrapped myself in my soft tartan blanket, allowing the hush of my little flat in Oxford to settle around me as gently as the snowflakes outside the window. They drifted lazily past the glass, waltzing before they landed on the sill. Id just returned from my final wedding dress fittinga moment Id both dreaded and longed for. The shopping bag with delicate earrings, a slender tiara and other trinkets to perfect my bridal look still sat in my lap. My thoughts revolved around the big day: how my dress would feel against my skin, how the lights of the hall would catch in my accessories, how Id look when Matthew finally saw me.
Suddenly the buzzer rang out sharply, making my heart skip and my blanket tighten around my shoulders. I glanced at the clockten to seven. Odd. Was it the grocer with the bread Id forgotten, or perhaps Mrs. Jennings from downstairs needing help again?
I approached the door and peered through the peephole. A tall man stood thereimpossible to see his face. Suspicious. I hesitated.
Whos there? I tried for a steady tone.
Its me, Ben. Need to talk. Its urgent. His voice was muffled but instantly familiar. My stomach knotted. I didnt exactly want to see Ben but what if something had happened to Emily? At last, after wavering, I released the latch and opened the door a crack.
Ben loomed in the doorway, snow melting on his shoulders, soaking into his peacoat in wet patches. His face looked pale, haunted even, his eyes burning with an intensity I hadnt seen before. I wondered, fleetingly, if Id made a mistake opening up.
Come in, before you freeze, I said, stepping aside and trying to keep my voice bright. What else could I possibly do, slam the door in his face?
He strode into my lounge, oblivious of his boots leaving dirty smears on my pale wooden floor. Ben seemed lost in some private world, staring past my shoulder as if at ghosts. Silence lengthened between us, the air suddenly thick, hard to breathe.
Victoria, he began, wringing his gloves between his hands. I cant do this anymore. I love you.
I froze mid-step, barely believing my ears.
Ben, you I tried, but my voice failed me.
He didnt let me finish. He stepped closer, as if staying still might cost him whatever hed come here to say.
I know youre marrying Matthew. I know this is mad. But I cant be silent! All these months I tried to carry on, move on, but nothing works. He spoke quietly but steadily, as if each word cost him. I should have said something sooner. EmilyEmily and I… it was only because I wanted to be closer to you. I never loved her. Never.
Numbness crept through me. He went out with Emily just to see me more? My poor friendshed truly fallen for him.
I laid my blanket carefully over the arm of the chair, hoping that small familiar action would anchor me. My chest felt tight.
Ben… I tried again. You do understand what youre saying? I love Matthew. Im marrying him for a reasonbecause its right. Were building a future together. And Emily
He nodded, gaze unwavering, pain shadowed in his features. But finally, perhaps, lighter for having confessed.
I know, but I cant keep pretending! In a few weeks, youll be beyond my reach. He drew a breath. I realise this is neither the time nor place, but if I let this go unsaid, Id regret it forever. And Emily means nothing to meshes no one compared to you.
Something within me shrank away. My words came out cold and distant. How can you even say that?
Its true! he pressed on, more desperate now. Emily was a way to get near you. I thought maybe one day youd see, youd realise what a caring, generous, wonderful bloke I am. That were meant to be. Now I know: life without you is meaningless. He slowly knelt, hands shaking as he fished a ring from his pocket. The silver glinted under my lamp, thin band catching the light.
Leave him. Be with me, and I promise Ill make you happy.
I stared at him, stunned, memories flipping through my head: Ben laughing at a party with Emily, holding her hand gently, gazing at her with such tenderness Id been glad for her, certain shed found her match. All a lie? The past scattered to dust.
Get up, I whispered.
Ben rose, hope flickering but already fading.
Dont you believe me? He sounded raw, exposed.
I do, I replied quietly. I believe you mean what you say. But it changes nothing.
I stepped back, needing space to think. The words came slow, painful. Youre my friend, Ben. But I love Matthew. I want to marry him because I know its right. I couldnt imagine you as my husband, not now, not ever.
He clenched the ring, voice trembling. What if Id told you sooner, before you met him?
I thought for a moment, then answered gently, Id have said the same. Im sorry. Youre a good man, just not for me.
He edged closer, a pleading urgency in his manner. Why not? I know you feel something, I see how you look at me.
I edged towards the hall in case I needed to bolt. A glint in his eyes made me uneasyif I pushed him, hed probably collapse backward onto the sofa, and then maybe I could run out the door.
Theres nothing between us, Ben, I said as calmly as possible, hiding my fear. Youre obsessed, not in love. You built a story in your head where Im perfect, and everyone else is just a stepping stone. Please, lets end this conversation.
He clenched his fists, powerless. Youre wrong. Ive never felt for anyone what I feel for you. This isnt a fantasy!
I bit my lip, keeping myself in check. No point provoking him. But how dare he treat my friend like this?
And Emily? Do you know how much youve hurt her? You toyed with her feelings just to get to me, and you expect me to throw everything away for you?
I know Ive behaved terribly, he said, looking at the floor. But even if I had my time again, Id still do it all the same.
You cant build happiness on someone elses pain, I said firmly, glancing at my phone. I should get to it. And you dont even know mebarely. Youre in love with your own idea. Real people are more complicated than fantasies.
I paused, wanting him to take it in. You need to talk to Emily. She deserves the truth. You owe her an apology.
He stood, trembling slightly. Why bother? Ive told you, she just irritates me. But you youre different.
I caught a flash of misery in his eyesalmost a sort of pity stirred, but I pushed it aside. Now was not the time for kindness.
Youre not getting either of us, Ben. I wont keep this quiet.
Ben stared at me, then finally said, Ill go. But Im not giving up. Ill waityoull realise were made for each other.
Dont, I said, a shiver at the edge of his words. Live your life. Find someone real. Please leave, now.
He moved stiffly to the door, each step as if wading through mud. He paused, looked back.
Thank you for your honesty, he said, simple and sincere. But Im not really saying goodbye.
The door clicked softly behind him. I exhaled, tension leaking from my shoulders. I drifted to the window, watched as Bens figure shrank under the street lamps and vanished around a corner. Part of me wanted to check on Emilywhat would Ben tell her? Would he try to twist things or keep hanging on?
I found Emilys number in my phone and dialled, keeping my voice steady despite my racing heart.
Hi, Emily. Can we talk? Its important.
There was a rustle at the other end, her voice anxious. Whats wrong, Vic? You sound tenseare you alright?
I inhaled to steady myself. Ben just came round, I began, careful to soften what I could not help but tell. He confessed he started dating you only because of me. Said he never loved you, that you were just a way for him to get close.
A long, aching silence followed. I pictured Emily holding her phone in confusion and dismay. It took ages before she spoke, her words tremulous.
So what does that mean? He really Is that true
I didnt want you to be hurt, but you deserve the truth. He said he only loves me and wanted me to leave Matthew for him. He isnt himself, Em. I was genuinely frightened being alone with him.
Another pause. I could hear her breathing deeply on the line.
I understand, she managed, voice tight with pain. So, what now?
I dont know, I said honestly. I expect hell be over to see you soon. Are you alone? I really am worried about how hes behaving.
She was silent awhile, then replied quietly, Dont worryreally. Thanks for telling me.
Im sorry you had to find out like this, I told her.
Better the harsh truth than living in a lie, she said, voice steadier now.
We said our goodbyes, and I set my phone down. The flat went quiet again. At the window I pressed my forehead to the cold glass, watching the snowfall in the orange glow of the streetlights. Somewhere in the city, two of my friends were wrestling with heartbreak, and all I could do was hope time would heal them.
My mind whirled with fragmented thoughtswhat must Emily be feeling? How would she rebuild her world? But I reminded myself: a painful truth is always better than a comforting lie. At least now, we could start againhowever slowly.
********
Meanwhile, Emily was in her kitchen, Bens words ricocheting round her skull, mixing with memories. She recalled their first date, his sweetness and little gestures, his awkwardly sincere smile, how hed held her hand and whispered I love you. All a lie. The world shed painstakingly built was crashing down around her.
She stared blankly at her mug of tea, grown cold. Only the clocks ticking sounded in her silent kitchen.
She breathed deeply, trying to collect herself. Should she ring Ben? Ask Victoria over? She couldnt decide, so she sat, letting time pass.
The doorbell rang, jerking Emily from her reverie. She peered outsideBen stood there, huddled in his coat, snow dampening his hair, red-eyed and pallid.
Emily, he said, not waiting for permission. I need to explain everything. I… I never
Victoria already told me, Emily cut in, voice hard but steady. Hearing it from him hurt much more than hearing it from a friend. I doubt you have anything new to add.
Ben stalled, jaw slack, shoulders collapsing. He reached a hand out, then thought better, dropping it lamely.
So she rang you… he muttered. I hoped Id get here first, explain myself.
Emily folded her arms, keeping herself together with effort. She didnt want to cry in front of him. Why are you here? To make me feel worse? To watch me fall apart again?
His voice cracked. NoIm here to apologise. For not telling the truth. For using you. He paused, hunting for gentler words. I know it cant be fixed with an apology. I hurt you, and and Im sorry.
Emily stared at him, searching for feeling. Anger, hurt but most of all, disdain. How could he play with someone like that?
You could have told me sooner. Just been honest, she said softly. But instead, when you realised you were losing Victoria, you ran to her, begging. And now you want sympathy?
Ben smiled wryly, hands in his pockets. I realised this was my last chance. I didnt think ahead.
He produced a small box. The same ring. Hands trembling, he pushed it towards her. Take it. Its the least I can do.
Emily looked at the ringa dainty gold band with a tiny diamond. Was this meant as one final humiliation?
She met his eyes, utterly impassive. Keep it. I dont want anything of yours.
His fingers curled tightly around the box. Emily, please. Im sorryI wish I could undo it. I want to make it right.
She tilted her head, as if examining a stranger. How? Propose to me out of guilt? Or throw yourself in front of a bus so Ill pity you?
He flinched, but held her gaze. I want to try again. Properly this time. With honesty.
She shook her head. You only start again with someone you trust. I can never trust younot now. You destroyed everything that was real between us. Even if youre telling the truth now, its too late.
She paused, steadied herself. I need space and timelots of both. Please leave me be, Ben. Theres nothing more to repair.
He nodded, tucking the little box back into his pocket. I understand. Im sorry for everything.
He turned, then hesitated, glancing back.
If you ever want to talk
I wont, she said flatly.
She was about to shut the door when the bell rang again. A ripple of fresh anxiety went through her.
She checked the peepholea tall, composed man stood on the step, dark hair slicked at the sides. MatthewVictorias fiancé. He radiated calm, but also quiet resolve.
May I come in? His tone was clipped.
Emily stepped aside. Matthews gaze fell on Ben, who immediately retreated to a shadow near the wall.
I know exactly whats been going on, Matthew said to Ben in a measured voice. I know what you did to them both.
Ben opened his mouth to protest, but Matthew cut him off. Nodont. Victoria told me everything. Some things cant be fixed with words.
He advanced on Ben, whose bravado fled. Emily, dont she began, instinctively protective even now. Foolish, really.
Matthew gave her a look. This isnt your problem now, Emily. Its his reckoning.
Emily hesitated, torn between stepping in and letting justice take its course.
Ben sank back against the wall, panic dawning at last. He finally realised hed crossed a line.
Look, Ben managed. I know I behaved terribly. Ive apologised
Apology? Matthew sneered. You think a platitude erases what you’ve done? You betrayed two good womenand you want forgiveness?
He stepped closer. Ben clenched his fists, as if that could stave off the inevitable.
Emily raised a hand. Matthew, please. This wont solve anything.
He glanced at her, a flicker of internal debatethen shook his head. Some things require more than words.
Matthews punch landed clean. Ben went down, clutching his bleeding lip, humiliation burning brighter than pain.
Show your face to Victoria or Emily again, and itll be worse, Matthew said coldly, not raising his voice.
Ben scrambled up, pride in tatters, and backed towards the door. He glanced once at Emily, found no sympathy, then slipped away in silence. The door closed behind him, leaving a leaden hush.
Matthew faced Emily, his face a touch softer. Sorry for that. But sometimes words are just wasted. His voice was gentle.
Emily blinked, still processing. How had it come to this?
You didnt need to…
I know, he said, but I think you needed it settled for good. Youre strong. Youll get through this.
She noddedand discovered, to her own surprise, that she believed him.
Thank you. For standing up for us, even like that.
Victorias worried about you. She wanted to come, but I thought I should check myself first.
Shes the best friend, Emily said, warmth creeping in. And youre good to herits easy to see.
They lapsed into a long, comfortable silence. Snow whispered past the windows. Emily felt, for the first time in days, a glimmer of something like peace.
Long after Matthew left, Emily rested on her sofa. Its done, she thought. Not just the end, but a strange sort of beginning as well. Shed have to find her way again: learn to trust, dream, maybe even love anewdifferently, this time.
********
Ben wandered into the snowy Oxford night, numb to the cold, lip throbbing as his cheek stung. The chill outside was nothing compared to the emptiness spreading inside. Hed lost them bothEmily forever; Victoria, if he was honest, never truly his to lose.
Next day he turned up at work with a bruised face, drawing murmurs and sidelong glances. He ignored it all. A week later, he requested a transfer up to Manchester. The manager raised an eyebrow, but didnt press.
His last act was to return the ring to the jeweller for a refund, the clerk diplomatically silent. He immediately transferred the money to Emily, along with a single line: Im sorry. This is yours. No excuses.
On the day he left, Ben waited outside his flat under a fresh dusting of snow, taxi idling at the kerb. He stared at his old life one last time, murmuring, I wrecked it all. A confession, not a plea.
He slid into the back seat and told the driver, Station, please. The car set off. The Oxford lanes blurred behind him, snowflakes erasing his footprints from the path.
As he journeyed to his new life, Emily met Victoria and Matthew at their favourite café. Three mugs of steaming hot chocolate ringed the table, the perfect comfort for a wintry day.
Their conversation felt easy, flowing on plans for the future: Victorias wedding, new jobs, shared hopes. Occasionally Victoria blushed remembering lovely, awkward moments with Matthew, who sat beside her ever-patient.
Emily found herself relaxing, letting warmth seep in. Life, she realised, really did go on, and the best was never quite past.
You know, Emily said, tracing her finger through the condensation on the window, Im not angry at him anymore. Its just a shame it had to end like that.
Victoria touched her arm, her comfort gentle and steady. Youve nothing to regret, Em. You deserve real happiness, nothing less.
Emily smiled back, genuine. And Ill find it. I really believe that. It was a simple belief, but it felt as strong as anythinga certainty the past was over and a new chapter was about to begin.
Outside, the snow still fell, softening the world, making room for new stories. Inside, three friends sat close, quietly certain that, whatever lay ahead, life was moving forward and that was all that mattered.
