Dull and Dreary, She Just Can’t Seem to Find Joy

**Diary Entry**

I cant help but feel a heaviness in my chest. Dad and Mr. Whitcombe were at it again todaytheir usual dance of power and posturing.

*Listen, Arthur,* Mr. Whitcombe began, *Do you really think you can pull off this Lavender Heights project?*

*You know its my dream, Charles,* Dad replied smoothly. *The firm has the resources, the expertise. Imagine ita landmark so striking, theyll run tours through it. Just make sure the council grants me that land. Fancy me sorting out a flat for your lad, James?*

*So I can be accused of bribery and sacked from the council? I can buy my boy a flator a whole bloody housemyself. What I need is a proper wife for him.*

*Here we go again,* Dad scoffed. *My Emily has a steady chap. And lets be honestyour James is a layabout and a womaniser. Dropped out of uni despite you pulling strings to get him in. No offence, but I wouldnt let my girl marry him if you paid me. How dyou expect me to drag her down the aisle at gunpoint?*

*If it comes to that, you will. Plenty of eyes on that land*

Theyve known each other for years, climbing the ranks togetherDad, the developer; Charles Whitcombe, the councilman. A mutually beneficial arrangement. Dads firm rebuilt entire neighbourhoods, restored historic districts. Well, Dad did the work. Charles facilitated itsweetheart deals, tender wins, suppliers magically lined up. Now, with Lavender Heights, the profits would be even sweeter.

The concept was solida gated community of high-rises with a private park, underground parking, shops on the ground floor. A self-contained world. Profitable, too, especially if the shops were leased to trusted tenants whod kick back under the table. A steady income, lifelong security. But to seal the alliance, their children would have to marry.

The families were closemums practically best friends. But the kids? Not so much. Emily, sharp and ambitious, was finishing her degree in landscape design, eager to launch her own firm and work with Dad. James Whitcombe, on the other hand, was a spoiled brat with a taste for partying and zero ambition. His father, drowning in guilt for neglecting him, threw money at the problem. *Maybe if he married Emily, hed settle down.*

Fat chance. After that conversation, Charles found James in high spirits.

*Dad! Me and the lads are off to Manchester tomorrowmassive music festival. Everyones going.*

*Everyone? The trust-fund brigade? Useless, the lot of you. When are you going to get a job? Emilys about to start her own firm*

*With your money, not hers. Fund me, and Ill start something too.*

*A pub? Youd run it into the ground in a fortnight. Stick with Emilyshes clever, good-looking. Settle down, for Gods sake. I wont spoon-feed you forever.*

*Shes got a bloke. And shes boringno idea how to enjoy life.*

*Steal him off her. Ill help. Take her out, show her a good time. Money talks. Maybe shell loosen up.*

Meanwhile, Dad was grilling Emily over dinner.

*Whats your plan, love?*

*What dyou mean? You promised to back my firm. Ill pay you back once its running.*

*Keep your money. What about your personal life? Marriage?*

*Kicking me out?* She laughed. *Ive told MumIm seeing Liam. Not thinking about weddings yet. Business first.*

*Listen,* Dad fixed her with a look. *Youre entering a cutthroat world. In business, stability matters. Married peoplepeople whove outgrown dramatheyre trusted. And marriages arent made with just anyone.*

*Here we goJames again. With him, Id never settle. Can we drop it?*

She knew why Dad pushed it. Charles held the keys to Lavender Heights. Without his approval, the project was dead. And Dad needed itbadly. Shed overheard them talking at the country house last week.

*Why are you hounding her?* Mum had hissed. *You want that wasteland for a son-in-law?*

*Better than poverty.*

*Poverty? Weve got a bloody mansion. We could sell the city flat tomorrow.*

*And if we lose everything? The firms on thin ice. Charles knows. Thats why hes pushing this.*

A silence. Then Mum murmured, *We started in a one-bed flat, remember? Laughing about two fridges in the kitchen*

A twig snapped under Emilys foot. The conversation died.

Liam hadnt taken it well.

*So youll save your dads business by shackling yourself to that prat? Im not even talking about memarry whoever you love. But him? You cant even hold a conversation with the bloke.*

*You dont get it! The firms his life. Lavender Heightsits his dream. He wants lilac façades, lilacs in the courtyards. Imagine how beautiful itll be in spring!*

*And youd trade your life for that? Wouldnt he be ashamed? My parents live in a council flat. No companies, no fancy projects. And theyre happy.*

James started circlingdinners, concerts. Emily played along, giving him a chance. Maybe shed misjudged him. He dressed well, knew his music, had a vinyl collection. And he was attentive, indulging her every whim.

Then, inevitably, he proposed.

She came home that night, summoning her parents to the sitting room.

*James asked me to marry him today.*

A heavy pause. Dad finally spoke.

*What did you say?*

*Nothing yet. But I think Ill say yes.*

*Do you love him?*

*I dont know. But they say love grows in time.*

Dad stood, walked to the window. Without turning, he said, *Liam came to see me yesterday. Told me why you might agree. Also said selling your own daughter is rotten. That hed never shake my hand again.*

Emily froze. Mum covered her face.

*What now?*

Dad turned back. He sighedalmost relieved.

*Nothing. I told Charles Im walking away. There are other projects. And you, lovehold on to Liam. Hes a good man.*

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Dull and Dreary, She Just Can’t Seem to Find Joy
Min berättelse är annorlunda – Min svärmor visste att hennes son var otrogen med grannkvinnan och dolde det för mig. Jag fick veta sanningen först när grannen blev gravid och familjen inte längre kunde dölja det. Vi hade varit gifta i sex år, bodde och arbetade tillsammans och hade ännu inga barn. Varje söndag åt vi middag med hans föräldrar. Jag hjälpte till i köket och kände mig som en del av deras hem. Grannkvinnan var ofta där, nästan som en familjemedlem – åt mat, stannade länge, dök upp oanmäld. Min svärmor försvarade henne alltid och min man var alltid tillgänglig. Jag ville inte tro något ont. Men några månader innan allt uppdagades började min man vara frånvarande och min svärmor blev kall och avvisande. En dag ringde min mans faster och frågade om vi fortfarande bodde ihop, och om jag inte visste något om grannkvinnan. Då berättade hon: Grannen är gravid och min man är pappan. Hela familjen hade vetat om det i månader och försökt dölja det för mig. När jag konfronterade min man erkände han att min svärmor känt till det länge. Jag gick raka vägen till henne och frågade varför hon inte sagt något. Hon svarade lugnt att hon ville undvika skandal och hoppades att sonen skulle lösa det själv. Då förstod jag att jag aldrig varit skyddad – bara bekväm. Alla hade hållit tyst och hållit ihop mot mig. Familjen försökte sen förklara och lugna – att jag inte skulle “överreagera” eller skapa bråk, som om min reaktion var problemet. Jag skrev på skilsmässan. Grannkvinnan flyttade till sin mamma. Min svärmor slutade prata med mig. Och min ex-man blev pappa. Jag blev ensam, utan man och utan familj. Det var inte bara en otrohet – utan kollektivt svek. Jag förlorade allt: en man, en svärfamilj, en trygghet jag trodde jag hade. Min svärmor svek mig inte bara när hon fick veta, hon svek mig varje gång hon kramade mig och sa “allt är okej”, medan hennes son skaffade barn med någon annan. Det gör mer ont än otroheten – att bli sviken av hela “familjebordet” förändrar en för alltid. ❓ Vad tycker ni: om din partners familj vet om att du blir bedragen men håller tyst – är de medskyldiga eller “är det inte deras sak”? Och vad skulle du göra om du var i min situation?