Pregnant by a Married Colleague and Left to Fend for Herself

Pregnant with a Married Colleagues Child, Left to My Own Devices
Im carrying a child from a married coworker, and he left me to fend for myself
My name is Joana Almeida, and I live in Tomar, where the Santarém district preserves its ancient monuments and quiet streets. When I became involved with my colleague Pedro, my heart overflowed with joy. At that moment I imagined being his only one, his beloved. Over time that dream came true, but with a bitter tasteI had to share him with his wife, Catarina.
I had just started at our company, and soon I was sent on a business trip to Lisbon with Pedro. We had an important negotiation ahead. We succeeded, and after the win Pedro suggested, Shall we toast? You dont sign contracts like this every day. I accepted eagerly. We settled in the hotel bar and ordered a glass of Port. The alcohol loosened our tongues. Conversation flowed like a river, and suddenly he kissed me. I was stunned, yet I didnt push him away. In the elevator he held me with such passion that I could not resisthis breath intoxicated more than the wine. The night in his room was magical, unforgettable, full of fire.
Back in Tomar I couldnt keep the secret and confided in a colleague, Beatriz, who I trusted like a sister. Dont fall for him! she cut in abruptly. Why? I asked, surprised. Hes married. Those words struck like thunder. Pedro was only 27, and I could not believe he was already marriedthese days men rarely wed so young. I asked him directly, and he didnt hesitate: Yes, Ive been married for a year. That didnt stop us. We became lovers. Meetings in the apartment he inherited from his grandparents turned into a secret ritual. Each day I sank deeper into him.
One Sunday morning, lying beside him, I gathered courage: Pedro, get a divorce. Youll be happier with me than with her. He looked at me sadly: I love you, but I cant. Why? I pressed. Shes seriously ill. I was shocked. What does she have? Why didnt you say anything? my voice trembled. She has breast cancer, we just found out. I cant abandon her now. His words hurt, but I understood: she needed him at that moment. I felt sorry for Catarina. When he told me about her surgery on Thursday, I prayed for her all day, sincerely, until tears fell. After she was discharged, Pedro and I stopped seeing each otherI knew his place was beside his wife.
Four months passed. Pedro never invited me out. I asked what was happening. Catarina is still ill, she may need another operation, he replied, tired. I understand your pain, but think of me too, I murmured. He nodded: Youre right, well plan something for the weekend. On Saturday we met again in the same apartment. The night was intense, full of passion. Before leaving, I brought up divorce again. His face darkened: Ill never do that. Shes my bosss sister. I was stunned. So thats it! And the cancerwas that a lie? He fell silent and left, slamming the door so we wouldnt argue further.
A few days later an elegant brunette entered the office. She asked for Pedro. Beatriz escorted her to his office. Who is she? I whispered to Beatriz later. His wife, she answered. I made up an excuse, went into his office pretending to look for documents, just to see her. Catarina seemed not only healthy but radiant, confident, elegant. I felt small beside her. Returning, I asked Beatriz, Did anyone ever mention she had cancer? No, thats nonsense; everyone would know, she snapped. The truth emerged: he had lied to me from the start.
Soon I began feeling weak, nauseous. I complained to Beatriz, who suggested, Could you be pregnant? I dismissed the thought, but took a testit was positive. The gynecologist confirmed: I was two months along. I was shocked. I remembered that nightwe hadnt used protection. Thoughts tangled: should I keep the baby or not? I called Pedro. Get an abortion! he said coldly. No, I wont, I retorted. Then Ill get you fired, he threatened. You dont scare me! I challenged. I decided to keep the child out of spite. I thought I was bluffing. Nevertheless, I was dismissed. A friend secured me a job as a sales assistant in her brothers bookstore. He didnt want to hire a pregnant woman, but he showed some compassion.
My daughter was born at seven monthsfragile, but alive. I named her Constança, after the fatherPedro. I never told her, and perhaps I never will. He betrayed me, left me at my hardest moment, when I was alone with a child and without work. I see his face in my dreamshandsome, deceitfuland my heart tightens with pain. He chose his wife, his career, and erased me from his life as if I were an unnecessary page. Yet I did not give up. I raise my daughter, fight for her, even though each day feels like a battle against fate. Let him live with his lies; I will live for Constançamy light in the darkness.