I never loved my wife, and I told her that many times. It wasnt her faultwe lived fairly well.
She never caused scenes or nagged; she was always kind and caring. Yet the problem remainedthere was no love.
Each morning I woke up thinking I wanted to leave. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love, but I couldnt imagine how fate would turn everything upside down.
With Zofia I felt at ease. Not only did she manage the household flawlessly, she also looked radiant. Friends envied me and couldnt understand how I was so lucky with my wife.
Even I couldnt grasp why she loved me. Im an ordinary man, unremarkable among others. Yet she loved me How could that be?
Her affection and devotion left me uneasy. I was even more tormented by the thought that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone richer, more attractive, more successful.
When I imagined her with another man, I wanted to go mad. She was mine, even though I never loved her. That feeling of possession outweighed reason. But could I spend my whole life with someone I didnt love? I thought I could manage, but I was wrong.
Tomorrow Ill tell her everything, I decided as I lay down to sleep. In the morning, during breakfast, I gathered the courage.
Zofia, sit down, I need to talk to you.
Of course, Im listening, dear.
Imagine were getting a divorce. I leave, we live apart
Zofia laughed.
What a strange thought? Some sort of game?
Listen to the end. Its serious.
Alright, Im picturing it. What next?
Answer honestly: will you find someone else when Im gone?
Mateusz, whats happening to you? Why are you even thinking of leaving?
Because I dont love you and never have.
What? Youre joking. I dont get it.
I want to go, but I cant. The idea that youll be with someone else keeps me restless.
Zofia paused, then replied calmly:
I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. Go, I wont be with anyone else.
You promise?
Yes, Zofia assured me.
Wait, but where am I supposed to go?
You have nowhere to go.
No, weve been together all our lives. I guess Ill still have to stay near you, I said sadly.
Dont worry, Zofia answered. After the divorce well split the apartment into two smaller ones.
Really? I didnt expect youd help me like that. Why are you doing this?
Because I love you. When you love someone, you cant keep them against their will.
A few months passed and we divorced. Soon I learned Zofia hadnt kept her promise. She found another man and never intended to share the apartment she had inherited from her grandmother. I was left with nothing.
How can I trust women now? I have no idea.
What do you think of Mateuszs behavior?
