My motherinlaw, Evelyn, was wonderfuluntil she refused to foot the bill for my little lads lessons.
James and I live a modest life in a council flat in Manchester, raising our threeyearold son, Harry. At the start of the year we enrolled him at a local nursery. I went back to work, but it didnt change our shoestring budget much; were still scraping by. The nursery fees are steep, so we skipped the extra classes to keep costs down.
One fortnight my own mum, Margaret, came to stay. She looked after Harry and collected him from nursery each day. A few weeks in, the nursery sent us an invoice for half the usual charge. Turns out Margaret had signed Harry up for a handful of extrasspeech therapy, a little football club, and a dance class.
When the month ended I cancelled everything, but we still owed for the period Margaret had booked. James suggested borrowing from his mother, and thats exactly what we did. After explaining why we needed the cash, Evelyn offered to cover the extra lessons herself, wiring the money into an account labelled Harry.
At first I felt a bit sheepish about Evelyns generosity. How could James and I be seen as responsible parents if we needed a grannys help? Eventually I got used to the monthly topup and realised there was nothing improper about a grandparent paying for a grandchilds activities, just as she might buy him a toy or a book.
Evelyn has been paying for those extras for two years now, never missing a deadline, and we never even have to remind her. Our financial situation hasnt improved, and as Harry approaches reception the question of school fees crops up again. A child does better in school if he can read and write, after all.
I called Evelyn and tried to persuade her to cancel the speechtherapy sessions and redirect the money to an English class instead. Harrys speech is fine, so the therapist isnt needed, and the funds could go to his language lessons. Evelyn replied matteroffactly that she wouldnt fund the therapist and that it should be cancelled.
A few days later I went for a manicure, while James and Harry visited Evelyn. When I got home, James looked furious. Harry had told his granny he wasnt going to the activities she was paying for; I had decided hed go to English lessons instead. Evelyn erupted, calling us liars and accusing us of being ungrateful. She said shed give us no more money and demanded we repay the £200 wed spent the previous month.
I tried to call her back to discuss it, but she wouldnt listen. Enough, she said. Youll have to pay for the lessons yourselves now.
So here I am, stuck. Evelyn wont pay, we cant afford it, and James has taken his mothers sideprobably because shes fed him a heap of nonsense. Its a right mess, and Im not sure what to do next.
