Youre jealous of everyone my patients, nurses, doctors, even the lampposts. Its gone too far And Im just so tired, honestly.
James, whats this? Sarah asks sternly, holding up his shirt. Whats this pink mark? Someones lipstick, is it? So thats why you were working late
Sarah, what are you talking about? James replies wearily, sorting out his things from work. Ive just come off shift. Lipstick? The only women on our ward are Nurse Edith, and shes nearly seventy. Honestly Im exhausted.
Sarah purses her lips, scrunches up the shirt, and storms off to the bathroom. James sighs heavily.
Its been over six months now that Sarah and James are together. Youd think everythings perfect, except for one thing Sarahs overwhelming jealousy. She finds reasons to worry, even where there absolutely arent any.
Just look at this, Sarah moans to her sister. Hes definitely cheating on me. Look at this!
She thrusts the shirt at her younger sister, Emily, arms crossed and visibly upset.
Emily examines the shirt, sniffs the stain, and bursts out laughing.
Whats so funny? Sarah snaps at her.
Its jam, Emily says, grinning. Fruit jam.
Sarah snatches the shirt back, inhales the scent, and her face shifts from annoyance to confusion.
You seriously need to calm down. Wheres all this suspicion coming from? Emily asks gently.
Sarah slumps down opposite her.
Its not just that we started dating I got him out of his last relationship, Sarah admits quietly, glancing away. Do you get it? He cheated on his girlfriend with me. At first, I thought Id be different That hed never leave me. But now I realise he could. Easily.
That doesnt mean you should always expect the worst. You need to trust him.
I do trust him, insists Sarah. But Im still scared. Im scared of losing him.
Emily just shakes her head, at a loss for words.
Where have you been? Sarah demands later that week, arms folded tight. Its just past one in the morning.
James sighs, exhausted.
Sarah, youre the one who said I could have a lads night out. We watched the football, had a few pints, thats all. Whats the problem?
Robs been home ages, I already called Lizzy. Where were you the last two hours?
Rob went home early promised his wife. I stayed with Sam a bit longer. Sarah, just relax. Im going to bed.
James heads to the bedroom and collapses onto the bed. He just wants to forget, to escape from Sarahs constant accusations. To feel that ease and happiness he once did. But again, Sarahs ruined it. As usual.
After shopping one afternoon, Sarah strolls down the high street, glued to her phone and oblivious to her surroundings. Suddenly, glancing up, she freezes. There, across the road, a blonde girl has her arms slung around Jamess neck, happily chatting away while he holds her close, laughing, completely unashamed.
Sarahs vision clouds over, she drops her shopping bags and marches right over. Seizing the girl by the arm, she pulls her aside.
I knew it! Sarah cries. I knew you were cheating! Youre a liar and a scoundrel. I was right all along!
James stares at her, lips pressed into a thin line, his hands clenched in frustration. The blonde woman steps back, confused by the outburst.
Sarah
Dont bother. I know exactly what youll say, and I dont want to hear pathetic excuses.
Thats my cousin, for heavens sake. Aunt Helenas daughter. Youve met Emma before. And Lucys my childhood friend we grew up together. Shall we talk at home, please?
Sarah listens, then mutters an awkward apology to the bewildered woman, and heads off, mortified.
James comes home late that night, still seething. His lips are tight and he can barely look at Sarah.
James
Im done, Sarah, he confesses, voice flat. I just dont understand where this crushing jealousy comes from. Every day, its accusations and suspicion. Anyone my patients, nurses, colleagues none of them are safe from your imagination. Even lampposts, honestly. I cant do this anymore Im exhausted.
James! Please, dont leave me. I love you! Sarah cries, close to tears. Im so sorry. I dont know what gets into me, but it wont happen again. Please, Im begging you
She almost drops to her knees in front of him, clutching his hands, searching his face. James truly loves her he left a five-year relationship to be with her, something he never believed he could do. Sarah had taken his heart, but now now hes plagued with doubts.
I love you, he whispers, squeezing her hand. But this isnt normal, Sarah. I cant live like this
I swear, Ill stop, she whispers, tears in her voice. Never again. Just dont go. I cant live without you.
James sighs and pulls her into a hug. He cant leave her not now, not after everything.
For a few months, things are calm. Sarah manages to keep her jealousy in check or at least hide it. James enjoys being with her, doesnt stay late at work, and everything goes on as if nothing ever happened.
But autumn arrives, and with it, the cold and the flu season lots more patients. James barely comes home on time; hes exhausted, only managing a quick dinner and then straight to bed.
The suspicion creeps back in for Sarah. She tries to trust him, ignores the unfamiliar perfume on his shirts, tells herself that the hospital is full of female colleagues, all much older than her, surely nothing to worry about. But the doubts keep growing. She starts to watch him more closely, checking his shirts, sniffing his collars, scrolling through social media, desperate to find something anything that will confirm her fears.
One evening, James heads straight for the shower after work, barely lasting five minutes before stumbling toward the bedroom, barely able to keep his eyes open. As he enters, he sees Sarah, huddled on the bed, frantically scrolling through his mobile.
Sarah What are you doing?
She jumps, tossing his phone aside.
Oh, nothing. Just needed to make a phone call.
James glances at her own phone, bright pink case sitting on the bed.
And what, yours suddenly doesnt work?
Its dead.
At that moment, Sarahs phone lights up with a message.
Oh really? Dead, is it? Lying again, Sarah? James raises an eyebrow, exasperated. Is there something else I should know? Hm?
Im sorry, she mutters, hanging her head.
Well, did you find anything? Miss Marple James snaps, more irritated than ever.
Sarah shakes her head.
Without another word, James heads to the wardrobe and begins packing his things. Sarah leaps up, grabbing at his arm.
Please, no! Dont do this. Ill change, I promise. I do trust you, James!
No, Sarah. I forgave you once, but Im not falling into this again. Im fed up. I just want a quiet life. I want to trust and be trusted. This isnt living
Within half an hour, James has packed everything as Sarah sobs on the bed, hugging her knees.
I do love you, honestly. But I cant do this anymore. And you youre never going to change.
James leaves the rented flat and heads for his parents house. He really is just too tired to go on.
Distrust will always destroy a relationship, no matter how strong it might feel. And in the end, we judge others by our own actions. Perhaps Sarah always felt James would betray her, just as he betrayed his ex for her. But it was her choice to be with a man like that. Without trust, theres no love, no real friendship, no lasting bond. That was her greatest mistake.
You’re Jealous of My Patients, the Nurses, the Doctors—even Every Lamppost on the Street! This Has Gone Too Far… And Honestly, I’m Exhausted
