The In-Laws Descend Uninvited — Do you really think you’re in charge here? You reckon just because you’ve got a bump you can do what you like? I see right through you. You’re only with him for the mortgage and the cash. — Let’s go, Sue, — Ivan’s dad muttered, nudging the door. — No point talking to them. They’ll come crawling back once they need us. The pregnancy was already a week overdue. The test had sat in her handbag for two days, but she was too scared to take it out. She knew: if there were two lines, their fragile peace—two years of no contact with “that lot”—might explode in an instant. — Lils, could you pass the Allen key? Left it somewhere in the hallway,— her husband yelled. Lily peered out. Ivan was sitting on the floor, sweating and hair wild. Seeing him like that made her remember their first rented flat, five years back. Back then Ivan didn’t even know which end of a mop to hold, and genuinely wondered why buckwheat didn’t jump in the saucepan itself. — Here you go,— she handed him the tool.— You fixed the loo yesterday, the chest of drawers today. Your mum would faint if she knew you did all this yourself! Ivan smirked. — Mum thinks I should be parked in a chair, waiting for someone to bring me a glass of water. She reckons you’ve turned me into a house… well, you know. — I just made you a grown adult,— Lily leant against the door frame.— How do you feel about being “unmanly”? — Honestly, I can breathe easier now we’ve given up waiting for their approval. They were quiet for a bit, then Lily asked, — Ivan, what if… what if things change? What if we have a baby? The hammer froze mid-air. Ivan looked up. — Mum will twig immediately, he said quietly.— You know, someone will rush over and tell her. — That’s what scares me. We’ve just started living our own lives. Your dad, back then, two years ago… to this day I jump every time the doorbell rings unexpectedly. — Dad went too far that time. Doesn’t excuse him. Old-fashioned, you know. He thinks a man shouldn’t touch a dish cloth. Washing up’s a disgrace, apparently. — Ivan, he threatened me! Lily shook her head. He said to my face that if I didn’t “restore things” and stop “bullying” you, he’d find a way to get rid of me! And your mum was right next to him, pretending to cry! They genuinely believe I’ve ruined your life, Ivan! Ivan stood, put down his tool, and came over. — Lily, I won’t let it happen again. I just froze last time, didn’t deal with it right. It won’t happen again. I promise! — Your mum won’t stop, Ivan. Not with us or with our baby. She’ll think she owns any grandchild. We won’t even be able to raise our own child—she won’t allow it! I don’t know what to do. Only one option: we run as far away as we can. Ivan was silent. What was there to say? She was right. *** Two weeks later, fears were confirmed—Lily was pregnant. Part of her was happy, but… She became extra careful. She asked her husband not to tell his mother, picked a private clinic clear across the city, hoping Maria Smith’s long fingers wouldn’t reach. It didn’t work. Saturday morning, as Lily poured tea leaves into the pot, the doorbell rang. Then a loud thumping. So loud Lily got scared. She stared at her husband; Ivan slowly rose from the table. — Don’t open it,— Lily mouthed. — Ivan! Open up! I know you’re in! shouted Maria Smith’s familiar voice.— Keeping your own mother on the doorstep, really? Ivan sighed, straightened his shirt, and went to answer the door. Lily stayed in the kitchen, wishing she could vaporize. Maria Smith swept in like a hurricane, coat and boots still on, right into the living room. Ivan’s dad, Peter Smith, trailed behind, at least taking off his shoes at the door. Fighting the urge to cross herself, Lily tip-toed out to the hall. — Well, hello there, dear daughter-in-law,— Maria sneered.— How long did you think you could keep this kind of news from the lady of the family? — What news? Lily feigned ignorance. She knows already?! — Don’t play dumb! My friend called me yesterday—congratulated me on becoming a grandma! Have you lost your minds? Lily, I can forgive you, since you’re obviously clueless. But you, Ivan! I expected better! So you went to some private quacks? You can’t run from me. I’ve sacrificed my whole life making sure my children get the best, and now you want my grandchild born in some dump? — Mum, calm down,— Ivan tried to stand between them.— We’ll decide ourselves where and how we get checked over. Can we live our lives the way we want? — Ivan, hush!— barked Peter Smith.— No one asked you. Look at yourself! Look, Maria! She’s turned you into a right doormat. And now she’s using the baby to blackmail us, make sure we never see our own grandkid! — I’m not using anyone,— Lily said loud and clear.— I just want peace. You didn’t call for two years. What changed? — Mum, go,— Ivan said quietly. — What? Maria stopped short. — Go. Take dad. You barge into our home, insult my wife. You threatened her before, you’re still doing it now… I don’t want you here. I’m sorry, but… Please. Don’t come again! — We only want the best for you!— Maria screeched.— Look at your life! Washing floors! Shopping for groceries! She’s chained you up so you can’t leave! Are you even a man? You’re not the head of the family, you’re the help! — It’s called partnership, Mum. You wouldn’t understand; dad’s always at your beck and call. All you want is everyone grovelling. Look at Nadine! She even gets ill according to the timetable you wrote out for her! Peter raised a hand. — How dare you talk like that to your mother, you little—? Forgotten who fed you when you were lazing through uni? — I remember. And I’ve repaid you in full! I’ve only not helped you these past two years; before that, how many times did I send you money? Maria Smith abruptly slumped onto the hall stool, wailing: — Oh, my heart… Ivan, get my pills… You’ll be the death of me… Lily, look at what you’re doing! If anything happens to me, it’ll be your fault! Lily folded her arms, having memorized every line of this act over the years. — Maria, your face is pink, your breathing normal, and your carotid pulse isn’t hitting tachycardia. Doctor to doctor—cut the theatrics. Your tricks don’t work on us anymore. The mother-in-law instantly silenced. She stood, fixed her coat, shot Lily a look of pure hatred. — Fine, have it your way. But don’t come crying later! I’ll make sure no hospital in this city will treat you well. And I’ll find a way to take the baby—because someone like you is a danger to society! — Let’s go, Sue,— muttered Peter, pushing open the door.— No point talking to them. They’ll come crawling back when they’re desperate. The in-laws left, and Ivan spent the evening making herbal tea for his shaking wife. *** Problems for the couple started almost straight after that last row. Their doctor’s attitude shifted—cold and abrupt every time she saw Lily. After one grim check-up, Lily came home in tears. — She’s not bluffing, Ivan. She’s already started making my life hell! What lies did she tell Dr. Adams to make her hate me? — We’re not sticking around,— Ivan said, squeezing Lily’s hands.— I’ve got an idea. Remember they offered me a transfer to the Manchester office? I turned it down because you didn’t want to leave your job. Lily looked up. — Manchester? Ivan, that’s… far. — That’s the point! We’ve got a place to start, new clinic, new doctors. Best of all, your mother can’t reach us. Let her torment Nadine. Lily, I spent five years trying to be the “good son.” Stayed quiet when Dad shouted at you, when Mum called you useless. No more. I’m not just a son anymore—I’m a father now. And I have to protect my family. Lily wiped her tears, nodded shakily, hugged her husband. The move took a month. Lily quit her NHS job, Ivan did the transfer paperwork. Only a couple of trusted friends—ones who could keep a secret—knew where they were going. *** Their peaceful life didn’t last—days after the move, both Lily and Ivan started getting calls from family. But it was his mum who upped her game: — Ivan, what are you doing! Where have you gone? I had to hear from strangers you’d moved! I went to your flat, some old lady answered, said you didn’t live there anymore! Where are you? Tell me your address, right now! His father chimed in: — When I find you I’ll…! You gave your mum a heart attack, only just revived her before the ambulance arrived! What, turned into a whipped wimp now? Can’t even leave your wife’s side? I want nothing more to do with you! Relatives kept ringing. In the end, to spare his pregnant wife, Ivan changed both their numbers. After that, at last, peace returned. In due time, they had a son, and named him Alexander—a name Maria Smith absolutely cannot stand.