Sorry I didnt live up to your expectations!
It all unfolds like something straight out of a sitcom or a predictable drama: evening has settled, James is glued to his computer, Emily is bustling about with chores. Suddenly, the car alarm blares into the quiet, and James dashes outside in whatever hes wearing (thank goodness for English summers!). Meanwhile, Emily, wiping dust from the table, nudges the computer mouse without thinking, causing the dormant screen to flicker back to life.
Emily has never been the type to rifle through her husbands phone, sneak peeks over his shoulder, or delve into his pocketsshes always considered it terribly improper. But tonight, it all happens by accident, simply and innocently.
Her eyes, momentarily drawn to the glowing screen, catch a snippet of a conversation on some website. Embarrassed, shes about to look away, but her gaze lingers just long enough to spot the word darling. Chiding herself, she rationalises, thinking it could easily be my darling wife said or even my darling pork pie! Still, curiosity gets the better of her, and she glances at the screen once more.
Yes, darling, James typeshis very own photo right there on the dating site, not even bothering to hide it. Of course, well meet tomorrow, just as we planned. I keep thinking about our last date. You were absolutely brilliant! The reply booms back from a scrawny, ginger-haired woman: Youre a beast, my cuddly bear. Im still aching all over.
Next, its all jittery messagesJames must have dashed off mid-chat in his rush: Cuddly bear, where are you? Im so bored already! Are you still there?
Emily, cloth still in hand, sinks onto the sofa. Well, there it is. James had said he couldnt miss tomorrows work do; it was compulsory. Just that night, Emily had carefully pressed his trousers, ironed his shirt to perfection, and picked out a matching tieall with patient care, making sure not a crease was left out. Now she sees exactly what sort of event shed been getting her beloved husband ready for
James storms back in, ranting about a gang of teenagers and their rogue football smashing against his car. He shouts, waves his arms in frustration, and Emily listens, nodding at all the appropriate moments, but she feels miles awayher emotions and thoughts have left the room.
Luckily, James isnt in the mood for romance tonight, and the couple go straight to bed. Ill think about this tomorrow, Emily tells herself, echoing that famous character, but all night she lies awake, tossing and turning, plagued by turmoil.
At first light, James heads off to the office. Emily throws herself into houseworkher mother is set to drop off little Stanley, whos been at his grandmas in the countryside all week. She fiercely scrubs the floors, scours the bathroom, polishes every tile, but the relentless question drums on in her mind: what should I do???
Its all a blur. Emily hasnt processed it properly, hasnt truly believed it yet, but her memory keeps dredging up snippets of Jamess words and recent actionsdetails that now make haunting sense. Her once-stable world has crumbled, and shes left to pick through the pieces.
Only one thing is crystal clear: Emily will never forgive James. Not ever. Even if he begs for forgiveness. Even if he claims it was nothing. Even if he promises itll never happen again. Maybe one day it will hurt lessthe sharp ache might dullbut the betrayal itself will never fade or be forgotten.
But then, theres Stanleyhes only two and a half. There wont be an opening at nursery before autumn, so she cant go back to work just yet. Should she become a burden to her ageing parents? Battle for maintenance payments in court? Launch into a gut-wrenching divorce while still reeling from the shock? Would she have the strength for it all? Might she give in to Jamess pleas of lets just wait and see, dont rush, try to understand, cant you forgive? only to regret it forever after? Absolutely not. Divorce is certainbut not just yet.
So Emily waits and watches. She continues running the house and looking after Stanley, pressing Jamess shirts and picking out his ties. She even laughs at his jokes in those rare moments he chooses to notice her as a person, not just another part of the furniture.
The only thing she cant overcome is the revulsionthe thought of intimacy is unbearable, and she dodges it at every turn. James seems almost relieved. Lately, he has a new spring in his stepwhistling to himself, smiling more, and bringing home flowers for no apparent reason. She pretends to believe his stories about business trips, meetings and training courses.
Finally, in October, a spot opens at Stanleys nursery. Emily goes back to workand immediately files for divorce. To say James is stunned is an understatementhes utterly blindsided, convinced his wife had no inkling about his secret life. When he discovers the truth, he explodes in fury, accusing Emily of scheming for money.
Youre just after my cash! Low and callous! Exactly the sort people call a household gold-digger! Sat on my lap, waited till the kid grew up, and now Ive sorted everything, off you go! I really thought you were better than that, but youre just like all the others!
Their mutual friends rush to defend James and turn their backs on Emilyno self-respecting person wants to be associated with one so cold and calculating. Even Emilys mum looks at her with disappointment. How could you? If you wanted to split up, you should have said so from the start. Instead, you just waited, hiding your true intentions. I never thought my daughter could be so petty and conniving.
Sorry I didnt live up to your expectations, Emily replies to them all with calm resolve, never wavering from her decision.






