I can scarcely believe that this actually happened to me. All these years later, the memory still makes me shake my head. I remember one evening, my husband came home, looking rather serious, and said to me:
Darling, do you think you could stop posting so many photos of the baby on Facebook?
There I was, holding our child after three long hours of burping attempts, and stared at him as if hed started speaking in riddles.
I beg your pardon? I asked.
Well its just that my ex gets a bit down when she sees them.
Your ex? I arched my brow. The one who left you for her gym instructor?
Yes but she really wanted children and, well, shes never managed, and
Poor thing, I cut in. Must be so very hard for her, seeing photos of MY child while shes at the gym with her strapping trainer.
He went on about how we ought to be compassionate. How she was struggling.
And since when are you in such close contact with your ex that you know how she feels about my Facebook posts? I narrowed my eyes.
He blushed.
Well… she writes to me sometimes just as friends, you know
I see.
That was the moment I decidedno drama. No shouting. No tears.
I simply stopped uploading photos of the baby.
Instead, I started posting pictures of me.
And not just any pictures. I slipped into that dress Id been saving for when I lose the baby weight. I did my makeup like it was Christmas morning. Made my cousin take some truly splendid photos.
First post on Facebook:
Me, grinning in the park.
Caption: Rediscovering myself.
Two hours later:
Likes. Comments. Private messages.
My husband:
Wow, darling, you look lovely. When did you take these?
Me:
Oh, I found the time, since Im not sharing baby photos anymore
Second post:
Me at a charming café, coffee in hand.
Caption: Sometimes silence speaks louder than a thousand words.
Comments from all sorts. The neighbour. An old friend. Gents who hadnt thought of me in ages.
My husband:
Whos this fellow, and why has he left you hearts?
Me:
No idea. Probably just some Facebook chap
Third post:
Me at the gym.
Caption: Putting myself first.
Now things began to get properly interesting.
One evening, he sat wordlessly on the sofa, phone in hand.
Whats the matter? I asked.
Well youre posting a lot of photos.
I thought photos werent an issue?
Yes, but these are all of YOU! And the commentsthere are far too many men!
Oh really, I smiled. And am I supposed to consider how others might feel? Be what was it compassionate?
He fell silent.
Turns out, your ex isnt the only one who can get down about Facebook posts.
It took a moment for him to grasp my meaning.
The next day, he blocked her.
Now hes asking me to share photos of us TOGETHER.
As a family.
So people can see how happy we are.
I keep posting my pictures.
And the babys.
Because I can be a mother
AND
be myself.
Quite a revelation, isnt it?
Now, what do you thinkshould I add her as a friend and start liking her posts, or is that just a step too far?
