I sometimes think no ones the slightest bit interested in my story, but honestly, I just need to get this off my chest. There will always be those people who seem to know exactly how everyone else should live, wont there
Ive been married to my husband for eleven years now.
I found out I was expecting our first child when I was just twenty-two. At the time, I was still at university and had to take a year out. The next year, I was pregnant again, so it was goodbye to my degree for good. My husband was right there with me though, promising hed support the family while I looked after the children.
I rather naïvely assumed my family would be delighted, but alas, I was mistaken. When my mum found out I was pregnant again, she struggled to come to terms with it. In her mind, Id messed up by not finishing university. But what was done was done. And then, wouldnt you know it, I found myself expecting a third time.
I should mention all of our children were very much wanted. But with every new baby, it became clear I wouldnt be rushing into the working world anytime soon. I barely had enough hours in the day to keep on top of the house, let alone anything else. Costs, unsurprisingly, steadily increased.
One salary wasnt enough, so my husband took on extra work as a cabbie. The notion of spending money on myself faded away long ago. We pinch pennies wherever possible.
Still, unexpected bills crop up out of nowhere. The children get ill, or something else goes wrong. My husband and I do our best to keep our little ship afloat, proud that weve managed without much help from family.
Then, three months ago, I found out I was pregnant again. When my mum heard, she flat out refused to help. She was completely baffled that wed go for baby number four, especially with things being such a stretch.
It really stings hearing those words from your own mother. Children are supposed to be a blessingeven when its tough. Youd think she could share in our joy; some grannies long for grandchildren, yet here she is, washing her hands of the lot. I just cant understand her attitude. My husband and I are genuinely happy with every child, even if were not exactly rolling in pounds. Theyre our legacy and our greatest treasure.
Now, my mother-in-law is a world apart from my mum. She knows its hard for us and often helps with shopping or scoops the children up for a day at hers.
When she heard she was to be a grandmother for the fourth time, she was over the moon. Shes always said she wanted lots of grandchildren. Shes properly thrilled for us and helps in any way she can. She loves the children to bits, fusses over me, and even calls me her daughter.
I cant help but feel down that my own mum doesnt see things the same way. I wish I had her support, or even just a kind word every now and againbut theres nothing to be done. Mum probably expects Ill come running, begging for help, but thats never going to happen. My children will grow up, and one day Ill tell them the whole story. Maybe then my mum will realise where she went wrongbut whether itll be too late by then is anyones guess.
