THE SO-CALLED BEST FRIEND
Stories of husbands running off with their wives closest friends are all too common, and, if were honest, not altogether surprising.
Your best friend is nearly a part of the family. Shes always welcome in your home, included in family gatherings, privy to everything from your household rituals to your childrens birthdays. She knows your husbands little quirks and his favourite meals inside and out. Despite any differences between the two of you, there must be something thats kept your friendship alive for all these years. Sometimes, thats all it takes for your beloved husband to one day wave goodbye to his family.
Thats what happened in my own marriage
Sarah was my old schoolmate. Wed been friends for as long as I could remember. I never once suspected her of being a threat to my marriagehow naive that was. She used to say, Honestly, Emily, I couldnt be less interested in your Daniel as a man.
Id always laugh it off:
Well, thank heavens for that!
I married straight after finishing sixth form. He was nineteen, I barely seventeen. All those tales about young marriages ending badly didnt faze us. We planned on growing old together, dreaming about reaching seventy side by side. We were young and oblivious
Sarah visited often. She saw me bask in marital bliss. Children came along, two lively little ones. As the years ticked by, Sarah, for all her brief flings, never found herself walking down the aisle. Suitors came and went, but no one stayed.
She was practically part of the family. You’d never see her without perfect makeup and polished nails, dressed in something flattering and just a bit daring. Compared to her, there I was in my dressing gown, pottering about with dinner or the hooverI can see now that I never stood a chance. Back then, though, it seemed absolutely normal.
My mum did warn me:
Sarahs green with envy, love. Best keep her at arms length. Single friends are like timebombsyou never know when theyll go off.
Naively, Id reply:
What on earth would she envy? I barely have time to look out the window!
Turns out, Mum was right.
Soon enough, Daniel would get tetchy whenever Sarah came by. Hed retreat to another room, and I chalked it up to him simply tiring of our chats. I started seeing Sarah lessmy family came first. It was only later that I realised my husband was already smitten with Sarah. Every visit of hers became torture for him. It’s true what they say: a woman next door always looks more alluring.
One summer, I took the children to the seaside. Daniel said hed do up the kitchen while we were away. But when we returned, I could tell he hadnt set foot in the flat for ages. The lemon tree on the windowsill had yellowed and dropped all its leavesit hadnt been watered in weeks. No sign of a kitchen makeover either.
So who was this serpent meddling with my marriage? I replayed every possibility, running through names in my head.
Then I spotted a glaring red lipstick by the dead lemon plant. I knew at once whose it was. Sarahs. My knees gave way a bit and I slumped into a chair, dumbstruck. Pulling myself together, I hurried over to Sarahs flat, hoping all this was some strange misunderstanding. Surely shed laugh it off and say it was a joke.
But when Sarah opened the door, she didnt even invite me in.
Care to explain why your lipsticks in my house? I demanded.
She shrugged cool as you like, Havent you twigged yet? Daniel and Iweve been in love for ages.
I shuffled back home, mind spinning with images of what mustve happenedthe doorbell, Sarah stepping inside to find Daniel alone, making some flirty remark about his stubble, brushing his cheek, his hand on hers Every guess drove me mad.
Truth is, men leave all sorts of wivesgood and bad. Even the most sacred of vows can break. Its always stings more when its over a dear friend. Men are wanderers by nature; their own wife seems plain as ditchwater, while another mans looks like a swan. When the other woman is your closest mate, its twice as cruel.
Not long after, I bumped into Julia, an old acquaintance. She married late, gave birth to a boy, and her husband doted on their son above all else. He had a habit of wandering off but would return, unable to stay away for the boys sake. Julia endured it year after year, her resilience a mystery. Maybe her work as a seamstress kept her goingshe was always busy with clients. We only ever met in passing.
Id ask her, Still not married again, Julia?
She would smile, No, and honestly, I dont fancy it
But this time, she grinned, My Toms come home! Can you believe it? Sixteen years of flings, and he crawled back. I took him in, of course. Who would want him now? Im not exactly in high demand myself. At least someone will be around to fetch a glass of water when I need one. The only thing that truly matters is familywho needs all that wild, messy passion?
Perhaps shes righttheyve been together seven years now.
Theres no mending whats been torn, and lost friendships cant be patched up.
These days, I have a second husband and a thoroughly married friend. Thats more than enough for me.
Daniel and Sarah parted ways within a year, and he soon found solace in the arms of another woman, with whom he still lives.
Of course, no one should be friendlessgirly chats and get-togethers are good for the soul. But its wise to be cautious, even with your best mates.
Think twice before sharing every detail about how blissful your family life ismisfortune may be closer than you think
Sarah never did settle down. She spends her days alone.
Some friendships are meant for a season, and not all friends wish you well. In the end, protect whats closest to your heartand never take loyalty for granted.
