Mum left us early, and while I was somewhat prepared for itknowing how much she suffered with her kidney illness and seeing her pain every daymy sister Emily, five years younger than me, was completely lost. We were left with Dad and Gran, who couldnt fill the gap Mum left behind. Emily often lashed out at me and blamed me, saying it wasnt fair that I was older and had spent more time with Mum, that I knew her better, while she was left only with photographs.
Most of those photos came from old albums, especially ones from Mums wedding and when she was pregnant. Looking back, we didnt realise how much Emily idolised Mum or how desperate she was to recreate some sense of family for herselfgetting married as soon as possible, having a child, and retreating into her own little world that Mum had once created.
Emily got married before I did, at just twenty, because she was expecting. Who was happy? Who was shocked by the news? I never understood the rush, particularly since she hadnt finished university and was only working part-time. But with each passing month, things became stranger. At first, Emily seemed simply overjoyed, but soon I noticed how worried she was, obsessing over her unborn childs welfarewanting the absolute best for herself and the baby, convinced their health depended on everything she did.
There was nothing inherently wrong with that, but it got out of hand. Emily would lose her temper over meals, whether we were at home or out in a restaurant, if she didnt get exactly what she wanted or if the taste didnt match what she imagined. Ill never forget the time she hurled her plate of fish at the waiter in the local pub we used to visit with Dad as kids, just because there was a bone in it.
Now, shes become completely withdrawn. She never leaves the house; her whole existence revolves around her bump and her husband. She refuses to see anyone else and overwhelms her husband with constant attention. Sometimes, he pops round to see me after work just to escape for a bit. He says shes impossible, always chatting to the baby, telling it about her moods, swinging wildly between extremes, searching for illnesses, insisting on hospital visits and endless tests, then suddenly distrusting doctors entirely and insisting shell give birth at home.
I worry about Emilyabout her, and the baby she hasnt even met yet. Dad doesnt notice anything odd, Gran brushes it off as pregnancy hormones, and Emilys husband barely manages to cope. But surely, this cant be normal. Truthfully, none of us knows who to turn to or what to do next.
