28April
I cant remember the last time I felt truly rested. My business trip was postponed by a few hours, and without giving any explanation I turned off my mobile, stretched out on the bed and let the quiet settle over me. Just that morning Id returned from a twoday stint in a Cotswold village, never once pausing to breathe: washing, cleaning, cookingalways under the relentless nagging of my motherinlaw and my husband.
Margaret, my motherinlaw, is convinced that Im a freeloader. She claims I earn too little, that my husband and his mother are living on the edge of starvation because of my handouts. James, my husband, sidetracked her, saying Emily could look for something else since she gets home early and apparently doesnt even need to cook.
Look at how she scrubs the floor, Margaret lectured James. It takes ages, yet she could be doing the laundry instead.
I snapped back that if they swept the floor even once a week the house wouldnt be such a mess. I should have kept quiet; the tirade only grew louder. I closed my eyes, steadied my breath and said calmly:
I suggested we move to the city. Then James and I could look after you, and he wouldnt have to quit his job.
James erupted, lunging at me.
So you want the husband to die on the job and then tend to his mother? You must have a stone for a heart.
I didnt wait for his retort. I opened the front door and stepped into the little shop by the gate.
Hannah, whats happened? she asked, her eyes red from tears. Wed met before the wedding, and Id instantly taken a liking to her.
Hey, Emily, I sighed.
Is your family getting on your case again? she pressed.
Dont even start, Hannah.
Its not my business, but why do you bear all that weight? James is always here, yet you two dont really live together. Whats the point?
We didnt choose this life, Hannah. We cant abandon Jamess mother in her condition. Once she recovers, James can return to the city.
She chuckled, Shell probably run a hundred miles, put us all on her back. I think shes just faking the illness. You used to be different. Did they fog your brain?
I dont know, just, I shrugged. Come on in if you need.
A call then buzzed. It was my manager confirming a trip the next day around midday. I felt a surge of reliefextra pay, because those trips are wellcompensated in pounds, and a perfect excuse to dodge Jamess and Margarets constant ringing.
I told my household about the sudden trip; oddly, the atmosphere lightened. The evening passed quietly. Before bed James and I slept in separate roomshe didnt want to upset Margaret. I didnt argue; I was exhausted from the cleaning and fell asleep quickly.
At two oclock in the morning Margaret shook me awake.
You cant hear me calling?
Halfasleep, I blinked.
Must have slept soundly. Whats wrong?
Give me the tablets.
I glanced at the distance to her sofafarther than to the cupboard of pills or to my sons bedroom. Still, I rose. I didnt manage to fall back asleep until about five, and I had to be up by sixthirty. I arrived in the city drained, as if after a full workday. When I learned the trip had been pushed later, I almost leapt with joy. I switched off my phone, collapsed onto the bed, and finally felt fresh and rested.
I had time to freshen up, apply a bit of makeup, and catch the train. The mixup about destinations didnt bother me; the important thing was that Id gotten the rest I needed.
An hour before departure the company transferred the travel allowance, but this time I chose not to forward any money to James. I wasnt sure what had changed; Id already handed over most of my salary recently and wanted to keep a little for myself.
With twenty minutes left before the train, I ducked into the station café for a bottle of water. As I turned, I saw James by the flower stall. My stomach droppedwasnt he supposed to be looking after his ailing mother? Hed claimed she was too ill for him to leave her alone! Yet here he was, buying a bouquet.
I froze, watching him, and wondered whether the flowers were for me or someone else. The thought nagged at me, planting doubt. Nine minutes remained; I clutched my ticket and chased after him, seeing him hop into a taxi. I flagged the driver:
Follow him, Ill pay double!
The driver raised an eyebrow but agreed, pulling away. Through the window I saw James embracing and kissing another woman, handing her the bouquet before she got into the car. My world turned upside down. The driver smiled and said:
You know, maybe it isnt exactly what you think.
Only then did I glance at the man behind the wheel, realizing he looked far too polished to be a regular cabbie.
Id never ridden in such a sleek vehicle before. Perhaps the driver had his own troubles, pretending to be a taxi driver. While I mulled over that, the car turned into my street and stopped outside my flat. James and the stranger slipped into the stairwell. Tears welled in my eyes.
Hes out of town on a work trip, his sick mother stays in the village, and hes driving someone into my home?
Will you go in? the driver asked, his gaze sympathetic.
No, theres no point, I replied.
Right. Youve already missed the train anyway. Where were you heading?
I mentioned a town about a hundred miles away.
Thats nonsense. Lets have a coffee, calm down, then Ill take you wherever you need, he offered.
I cant afford a taxi that far, I protested.
Where do you see a taxi? I just gave a father a lift to his train. He travels to his sisters every week. And here you are, hopping into my car.
Sorry, I said, feeling ashamed as tears slipped down my cheeks.
He said firmly, We need to stop this flow, or youll flood the whole car.
Half an hour later I found myself on the riverbank with a steaming mug of coffee, watching the sun sink below the horizon. The view was so beautiful that my troubles seemed trivial.
Like it? asked Tom, the driver.
Its amazing, I replied. Ive lived here for years and never noticed this spot.
Im often here. I came when I learned my wife had been unfaithful, he confessed.
I stared at him, surprised, and he laughed.
Yeah, I thoughthow could anyone cheat on me
I blushed; thats exactly what I wanted to say. Looking closer, I saw Tom was about my age, attractive, and carried a calm confidence.
Two days later James called just as I was about to leave the temporary flat the company had provided.
Hey, James. Whats up? I answered.
Emily, are you playing games? I was supposed to get a transfer. Did the money reach you?
It did, but its for the trip expenses, I explained.
So you wont send me the money?
No, James, you understood correctly. I wont send the travel allowance nor my salary. By the way, Id like you to collect your things from my flat. It came from my parents.
A silence stretched, then James sighed, Emily, are you out of your mind? What am I supposed to do now?
Its simple, James. Find a job like any decent man would, I said evenly.
How can I work when my mothers ill?
Your mother isnt that badly off. You can leave her long enough to buy flowers for other women with my money and bring them to my flat.
I stopped listening to his excuses, switched off the phone, and for the first time truly saw how naïve I had been.
Tom and I exchanged numbers and began texting each other goodnight wishes and the small stuff.
On the day of another assignment, I bumped into James by the building entrance. I was ready to leave when he suddenly appeared.
What are you doing here? I asked.
Without a hint of shame, James grabbed my wrist hard.
We need to talk.
No, James, theres nothing left to discuss.
Youre wrong, he snapped. If you think you can just walk away, youre sorely mistaken. Me going out a few times is normal. Im a healthy man with his own needs.
Do you really think I care about you?
He ignored the question, pulling me closer.
Youre chasing nonsense. What are you hoping for? Think youre needed? Lets go home, youll apologise. You already made me worry.
I broke free from his iron grip.
Im not going anywhere with you.
He seized me again, so hard my sleeve ripped.
Youll go. Youll calm down and see its nothing. All men do this, women should be patient.
I struggled, feeling his fingers leave scorching marks on my skin.
Release me, it hurts, I gasped.
In an instant I was free; James vanished. Only Tom stood there, breathless.
Emily, you alright? he asked.
A little dazed, I answered, Yes. How did you end up here?
I didnt want you to travel alone and risk some man getting close to you, he replied.
Just then Jamess voice boomed from somewhere: Ive got a lover! Im filing for divorce!
I straightened my shoulders and said, Great.
James fell silent, realizing his mistake, while I smiled.
James, thanks for the offer. I have a job, no time for a divorceso itll be easier for you to file anyway. Ill sign the papers.
They left, and Tom burst out laughing.
Your husband just stood there with his mouth open, he chuckled.
Already exhusband, I corrected him. Now, what are you doing here?
You told me on Viber you were on a business trip today. I came to take you home, Tom said.
How far is that? Three hundred kilometres! I exclaimed.
Exactly, he replied, paused, opened the boot and produced a gorgeous bouquet of white roses. Sorry, I completely forgot about them. Thats how it was meant to be.
He handed the roses to me. I stared at him, then at the flowers, and finally smiled. It was better than anything I could have imagined.
