A Difficult Choice
Mum never shouts at me because of a bit of oil! Am I just extra here, is that it? I want her gone. Or Ill pack my bag and move back in with Mum for good. Chooseher or me!
Edwards hands shook. His own son was giving him the same ultimatum that his partner had done so often.
Clean it up right this instant! I saidclean up! Are you deaf, or just as hopeless and rude as your mother?
Sophies shouting still rang in Edwards ears, even with the bathroom door closed.
He stood statue-still, razor in hand.
Every morning went the same waythe triggers changed, but the routine was set: trainers not lined up in the hallway, crumbs on the worktop, a toothpaste tube left in the bathroom.
Edward wiped his face and stepped into the hallway.
Twelve-year-old Billy stood with hunched shoulders, staring down at his trainers, which his stepmother had just kicked clear across to the front door. One trainer was upside down, leaving a grey mark across the pale wallpaper.
Sophie, why are you yelling at him first thing in the morning, Edward said wearily. He just slipped his shoes on. Hes about to leave for school, hes in a rush.
Child? That child is about to get his National Insurance card, Edward, and hes nearly as tall as me! Yet he still cant manage to walk two steps to the mat without mucky footprints. Do you think hes smeared the wall by accident? No, he does it to wind me up. He knows I spent two hours scrubbing this place until it gleamed yesterday!
Billy silently grabbed his rucksack, pushed his feet into the trainers, and left without looking at his dad.
He does it on purpose, hissed Sophie, leaning against the wall. He sees how I react and pushes me, testing my patience. Hes just like your exsame breed, same mannerisms, that same blank stare. I feel like Im sharing my flat with Rachel! She bosses me about through him!
Edward sighed and retreated to the kitchen. He knew he needed coffee if he was to have any chance at a good day.
Rachels got nothing to do with this, he said, switching on the coffee machine. Hes my son, Sophie. Hes living with me because he had to. When Rachel landed in hospital with that bad infection, I wasnt about to leave Billy on his own in a flat. And now hes settled. Its handy for him hereschools just down the street, Im close by, all his stuff is here.
Handy for him! What about me? Sophie stalked into the kitchen, leaning heavily on the table. What did you promise when I brought my things here? That it was for a bit, just temporarySophie, hell only be here a couple of weeks, just until his mothers back on her feet. Its been six months, Edward! Six months Ive been playing unpaid maid and prison warden. You know my viewI never wanted children. I didnt carve out my life and career just to fish someone elses dirty socks from under the sofa or listen to teenage complaining! I dont want kids, I dont want to look after kids, and I especially dont want to rearrange my life around them!
He doesnt bother you, Soph. Youre exaggerating. When youre home, he hardly leaves his room. He spends his time on the computer, quiet as a mouse.
Edward, I cant even feel at ease in my own flat! I cant come out the shower in peace because I know that wonder is going to barge into the kitchen and clatter about. Is this my home, or am I just a guest here? And the constant trips to see his motherRachel lives one building over! Why cant he stay there? Why does he have to come here every evening like its a hotel? Decide, are you a father or a partnerpick one!
Edward sipped his bitter coffee. Problems were piling up like dirty laundry. His son resented Sophie, convinced shed stolen his dad. Sophie could hardly stand Billy for simply existing in her space. And Rachel popped in nearly every night. Edward felt utterly lost.
How about we go out tonight, just the two of us? he tried. That place by the riverlive music, good food. Billy can spend the evening at Rachels; Ill sort it with her so he can sleep there tonight.
Sort it again? Sophie sneered. Grovel to that woman again? Beg for permission for your own son to sleep in his own bed? Arent you tired of this farce? This is your home, Edward. Why must we beg and borrow time together, bending over backwards for some kid and his mother, who bosses you around?
Because Im a dad, Soph. I cant just cut him out.
Its not about duty, Edward. Its a choice. And every day, you choose him over me.
She spun on her heel and left the room.
Here we go again, thought Edwarditd be a three-day sulk this time.
A couple of days later, Edward came home late from work. The smell of burnt oil hit him as soon as he walked in.
Billy was shut in his room; Sophie sat rigidly on the sofa.
Whats happened now? Edward said, defeated.
Ask your precious boy. He decided to fry himself some eggs. Oil everywhere, greasy hob, the saucepans ruined. Of course, he didnt think to clean up. I asked him to tidy it, and he just walked outtold me straight to my face, Youre not in charge of me. Ill tell Dad everything, and youll be the one out!
Edward knocked on Billys door for a while before his son finally unbolted it.
Dad, honestly, I wiped everything up, Billy said hastily, blinking back tears. Maybe I missed a drop, but I tried. She went ballistic, like Id set fire to the house. She called me a layabout and a pig. She hates me, Dad. She just does. Why is she here? Why cant she just go?
Son, calm down. Shes just tired. Shes never lived with a child before. Its a change…
A change for me, too! Billy shouted. Mum never yells at me about a stupid drop of oil! Im not wanted here, am I? I want her to leave. Or Ill pack up and move back to Mums for good. Chooseher or me!
Edwards hands shook again. His own son was asking him to pick sides, just like Sophie.
Sophie burst in, eyes flashing. Perfect! Thats the answerlet him go to his mother then. Theres his rucksack. You can help him tie his laces. Ill pack his things and chuck them out in five minutesIm used to clearing up his rubbish!
Sophie, please! Youre an adult, a grown woman, cant you show a bit of patience? Hes only twelve. His worlds upside down!
I couldnt care less about his teenage drama. I want a peaceful home! I want to wander my own flat in a dressing gown, not glancing over my shoulder! I want you to be minenot spending our money on his tutors and trainers! You promised me a different life, Edward! Choose: he moves in with his mother, or I pack my bags and go. Enough. Im done!
Edward asked suddenly, And what if you had a child? If someone treated him the way you treat Billy? Would you call your child pointless, too?
Sophie snorted, flicking her hair. Id never let anyone hurt my child! But I dont have kids, and I wont. Thats my choice. Im not obliged to put up with someone elses brat just because I live with you. That wasnt our deal!
Brat? Edward nodded. So, you understand its cruelyet you keep taking it out on my son. Look at me, Sophie. Ive shown you patienceI keep hoping youll change
Patience? You should be grateful Im even here! Sophie barked a short laugh. Ill find someone better in no timesingle, wealthy, no kids!
Go ahead, Edward kept his voice flat.
What did you say? Sophie narrowed her eyes.
I said, go on then. Start now, but not under my roof.
Youre throwing me out? Over that snivelling little pest? Really, Edward? Swapping me for him? Hell breeze out in a few years, youll be left aloneold and useless in your shabby flat!
Perhaps, Edward sat on the sofa, worn down to the bone, But Id rather spend these years with my son than live with someone who hates a part of me. Go, Sophie.
She screamed for ageswhirling round the flat, flinging things into bags, hurling insults, sobbing, threatening, then starting up again. She dragged up every argument: the odd gift, the missed holiday, his boring job. Edward sat there silently, waiting it out.
It was only when the front door slammed thunderously that Billy crept out of his room.
Dad, is she gone? For good?
For good, Billy. No ones going to yell at you over your trainers again.
Billy sat a moment, eyes on his hands.
Are you sad, Dad?
A bit, Edward admitted quietly. But itll pass. The important thing is were together.
You know what? Lets order a pizza tomorrow. The biggest one. With extra pepperoni. And watch that space film she never let us put on?
Edward grinned.
Deal. And not a word about crumbs on the sofa.
Two days later, Sophie began texting. First angry, vengeful messages, then pleading ones, blaming stress and saying shed give it another shotif Edward sent Billy back to his mother.
Edward scanned them while queuing at Tesco. In his trolley sat cereal, milk, a giant bag of crisps, and a new football.
He blocked Sophies number before she could finish yet another rant about fixing things.
There was nothing to fix.
That evening, Rachel stopped by, bringing an apple crumble. She stood in the kitchen doorway, watching as Edward and Billy assembled a complicated model spaceship on the living room rug.
Whats the occasion? Rachel asked, filling the kettle.
Sort of a celebration, Edward said, not looking up from the instructions. Celebrating peace. And quiet.
Sophies gone? Rachel said gently.
Yep.
Pity. She was pretty.
She was. But you know, lifes calmer now
Billy threw his arms up, victorious as the final piece clicked in.
Dad! Lookit works!
The model spaceship blinked with lights and buzzed.
Edward looked at his sons shining face, at the cheerful untidiness, at Rachel pouring tea into mugs, and realisedthis is home.
Sometimes, the toughest choices show us what truly matters. And a real home isnt about quiet or orderits about the people who love us, however messy life may get.
