Laura stepped out of the gynaecology clinic looking absolutely bewildered. She stared at the paper in her hand, read it again: Pregnancy 7 to 8 weeks. How on earth did this happen? How did I not notice a thing? she thought, walking to her car. Did I forget a pill? What now give birth? Im fortythree, not exactly the usual age for this
She drove home lost in thought. At a traffic light she didnt even realise the cars had started moving until the driver behind her blared the horn. Back at her flat, Laura threw herself into the chores, trying to push the unsettling news out of her mind.
A short while after lunch Poppy popped in for a quick visit, keen to share the latest news.
Mum, Ive got a surprise for you! she chirped, settling at the kitchen table.
Spill it, love, dont keep me in suspense, Laura replied, eyes twinkling.
Poppy, Sam proposed to me! her daughter beamed, and I said yes!
Lauras eyes softened and tears welled as she hugged her.
Sam was exactly the sort of bloke shed hoped for smart, driven, balanced, a touch ambitious, wellmannered and decent. At twentyfive he earned a decent wage, lived on his own and had been independent for years. He and Poppy had been together almost three years, and Laura had seen plenty of proof that he meant business.
Darling, whens the wedding? Laura asked, pouring steaming tea.
We havent set a date yet, Poppy shrugged, maybe next summer.
Will you tell your dad? Laura pressed, watching her closely.
Im not sure, Poppy frowned, to be honest, I dont really want to.
Lauras tone softened, Poppy, you cant shut him out. Hes your father, he loves you. I know youre still hurt, but people drift apart that doesnt mean you stop speaking. Ive forgiven him, and you should too. No hard feelings, and make sure you invite him to the wedding.
Poppy snapped, Mum, how can you say that? He left you for another woman, and you just forgave him! He spent a whole year cheating with his secretary behind your back! Mum, could you ever really forgive that?
Laura sighed, We were together for twentytwo years, raised you a brilliant, beautiful girl. Those were happy years, and Im grateful to Sam for them. But then he fell in love with someone else. You cant force a heart, dear What did you expect me to do? Throw a tantrum, hide the hurt, hate him forever? Thats nonsense, Poppy, dont you see?
No, Mum, I dont get it, Poppy shook her head, If Sam treated me like that, Id I dont even know what Id do!
Laura gave up trying to argue; Poppys fiery spirit would never see eye to eye with her. Youth sees things differently, after all.
After saying goodbye, Laura returned to the kitchen, washed the dishes, and pulled out a joint from the freezer for dinner. She kept turning the pregnancy over in her mind, weighing the options. Giving birth at her age, and on her own, was daunting, yet the thought of holding a baby again, of being a mother once more, tugged at her heart.
She fetched an old photo album from the loft, leafing through pictures of Poppy as a baby in a onesie, smiling up at Grandma. Then a newer snap of Poppy in a pretty dress at the city park gate the day she fell off the swing, broke her knee and ended up with a thin, barelyvisible scar. Another showed her in primary school, clutching a bouquet with Sam and dad, Sergey, looking proud. There was a picture of young Laura, skinny in a light suit and highheeled sandals, a hairdo that now seemed downright silly.
In a fifthgrade class photo Poppy wore a Snow Girl costume shed made herself a silver dress with a rabbitfur trim, three nights of sewing on the old machine that finally paid off. And a beach shot of Laura, Sergey and a grownup Poppy on the coast of Spain, sunkissed and laughing.
A wave of sadness washed over Laura. Shed always believed she had the most solid, loving family. She and Sergey had once been inseparable, dreaming together, sharing a life. Years passed, Poppy grew, bringing home achievements. Sergeys career took off, they finally built a house, bought a car, travelled. Laura opened her own bridaldress atelier, a dream come true. It all felt endless until the disappointment that she never managed another pregnancy. The first one ended in miscarriage, the second reached fourteen weeks before ultrasound revealed severe fetal anomalies. Shed spent a night sobbing in a hospital ward, then decided she wouldnt try again.
Looking back, Laura saw the irony once she had youth, a solid marriage, financial security and a burning wish for another child, yet now she was left with an unexpected pregnancy that felt like a cruel joke.
When Sergey announced he was leaving, it wasnt a shock. Shed long suspected an affair; he brushed it off as her imagination. She panicked, launched a fullblown campaign to win him back, even suggesting couples therapy, which he flatout rejected as a load of rubbish. She tried every trick shed read about on womens forums heartfelt talks, even a bit of homestage dancing to no avail. A month later he packed his things and filed for divorce. Their final, painful conversation left Laura reeling.
She never understood what he saw in his new secretary, Oksana a young woman, a shade older than Poppy, with plumped lips, long false lashes and a daring lowcut blouse. Laura had begged him to replace her, but he waved it off: Laura, I dont care what she looks like, shes efficient, sharp, I cant do without her right now. He insisted she was indispensable. Laura sensed Oksana wasnt the real asset; later she discovered shed been right all along. The thought that her husband could swap her for a siliconeenhanced doll cut deep, but she had to move on.
Sergey left her the city flat she still lived in, while he moved to a countryside house with his lover. The idea that a stranger now occupied the place where theyd once been happy, where Poppys childhood memories lived, made Lauras blood boil. Shed agreed to the arrangement because the flat was convenient for work and close to Poppys flat with Sam, but the feeling lingered.
The next day, a Saturday, Laura dropped by her old friend Ninas house theyd known each other since their kids were in the same nursery. Nina greeted her with a bottle of brandy. Lets have a quick nip, love, Ive cooked a steak, perfect with a dram! she winked, pulling out two shot glasses.
Thanks, Nina, but I cant. Im not supposed to, Laura said.
Whats that about? On the pills? Nina asked.
No, just Im pregnant, Laura admitted, sinking onto a chair.
Ninas eyebrows shot up. You and Sergey split, right? Or have you taken a lover? she teased.
Not a lover, Nina. The babys Sergeys. We had a night about two months ago candles, wine, lace underwear and thats how it happened, Laura explained, gesturing to her belly.
Nina shook her head, Good grief, love. Youre already in your fifties, youre pushing your luck. Raising a child on your own at this age is a nightmare unless youre looking for an almighty pension. Think about it.
Laura sighed, Im not sure what to do. I only found out yesterday.
Ninas words echoed her own worries.
Laura drove to Poppys flat later. Hey, love, can I pop in? Want a coffee?
No thanks, Mum, Im not in the mood. I wanted to talk. Is Sam home? Laura asked.
Hes with his parents, helping with some renovation, Poppy replied.
Laura, nervous, told her about the pregnancy.
Mum, do you actually want this baby? Poppy asked.
Very much so, Laura whispered, but Im scared.
Whats the doctor saying?
Everything looks fine, the babys developing well. Ive lost two kids before and never got a clear answer why. Im terrified of going through that again, especially now that Im over forty. The internet is full of horror stories, you know? Im not sure Im ready.
Poppy leaned in, You need proper medical checks, not Google. These days many women have babies after forty, its not that rare. If youre healthy, why not?
Laura nodded, Maybe youre right.
Whatever you decide, you have our support. Will you tell your father?
No, I dont want to, Laura said.
The talk steadied Laura a bit. Tests later showed no serious health issues, so she decided to keep the baby. Should I tell Sergey? He probably doesnt need to know Im still around, she mused. Shed only seen him a couple of times since the split hed popped into her boutique once to collect some paperwork.
Im not looking for a new marriage, Samuel. My life isnt your concern, she snapped when he tried to chat.
He left, muttering about the babys due date, then later tried to sneak a peek at their son when he heard about the birth.
The delivery ward was bustling. Poppy and Sam arrived with Nina and a few of Lauras sewing assistants. Sam cradled the newborn in a blue blanket, eyes wide. Oh my God, hes tiny! he gasped.
Absolutely precious, Poppy cooed, he looks just like you, Mum?
Just like you! Laura laughed.
Back home, Laura found the living room transformed into a nursery colourful garlands, balloons, a big banner reading Happy Birthday, Harry! (thats what Laura decided to call her son). The little boy was healthy, and Laura felt a warm glow. Days flew by with baby duties, and Poppy often dropped by to look after Harry or take him for walks in the nearby park, giving Laura a breather.
See, Poppy? Youre already a pro at mumhood, Laura teased.
I love it! Poppy replied with a grin at Sam.
A few months later, there was a knock at the door. Sergey stood there with a bouquet of roses.
Hello, Laura, he said, offering the flowers, which she declined.
What brings you here? she asked, arms crossed.
I know Harrys my son. Nina mentioned it, he said.
And that matters? Laura replied coolly.
Im sorry, I was a fool. I realize now what Ive lost. I want to be part of his life. Will you let me?
Laura thought back to the day shed given him everything for a chance at those words. No, Sergey, its too late. Dont come back. She shut the door and locked it.
He shouted, I have a right to see my son! but she never opened again. He kept turning up, even trying to linger when she pushed the stroller in the park, begging forgiveness.
At Poppy and Sams wedding, Sergey stayed just long enough to hand over a generous cash gift and then left. Later Laura heard from mutual friends that hed married Oksana, only for the marriage to end after a few months.
Laura kept moving forward, her sons laughter filling the flat, and though the past haunted her, she finally felt a strange sort of peace.
