When Mum Wanted to Marry a Man My Age: Hidden Papers and No Regrets
My mothers name is Margaret; shes forty-two. She had me youngjust after finishing her A-levels, at seventeen. Her first love didnt end in marriage but in nappies, sleepless nights, and the daily struggle to make ends meet. My dad left right after I was born, and it was only Grandma and Grandad who picked her back up again. Thanks to them, she finished her college training, and I had at least a somewhat ordinary childhood.
Mum never remarried, even though she had plenty of admirers. But it never went beyond friendship. Shed always laugh and say, Ill think about happiness once youve grown up. We lived happily, carefree, always light-hearted. She was more like a mate than a strict parentwe shopped for clothes together, swapped jumpers, and did our makeup the same way. My teenage experimentspurple hair, piercings, chunky necklacesshe responded with good humour. We got on brilliantly. Or so I thought.
Im twenty now. University, work, my own world with mates and parties. I figured Mum would be lonely since Id been the centre of her world for so long. But to my shock, she wasnt down at allshe fell in love. And not just with anyone: with a man nearly half her age.
It started innocently enough. Mum teaches history at a secondary school, mostly among women colleagues. But suddenly, stories about Luke crept into her conversations more and more. At first I didnt pay attention, but soon it was obvious Mum was smitten. This LukeLukeyis the new computer science teacher, only twenty-one! Just a year older than me. My grown-up mum was acting like a schoolgirl: baking him cupcakes, marking his tests, drawing up his lesson plans, packing lunches because hes on a diet and wont eat at the canteen.
I was stunned. Mum never made me packed lunches for work, but for him she offered the full menu! Her colleagues were whispering too: Margarets acting ridiculousshes dyeing her hair, buying tiny skirts, doing her makeup like shes twenty. It was true; out went the posh blazers and in came neon nail varnish and copper-red hairall because Luke said she reminded him of that English pop singer.
Then came the bombshell: Mum casually mentioned she wanted to move in with Luke. I want to finally live for myself, she said. I deserve that. I challenged her: Dont you realise? He lives in a shared house, has no stable job
He understands me better than anyone, she replied. Even with your dad I never felt so wanted. Were thinking of getting married.
I nearly fainted.
Seriously?! You want to marry a student who barely knows his way around yet? I yelled.
Dont be cheeky! Hes a mature bloke!
Its a scam, Mum! Hes using you for a home and security. How can you be so gullible?!
We had our first proper row. Doors slamming. She accused me of being selfish, unable to accept her happiness. But she wouldnt listenshe was utterly bewitched.
I thought about speaking to the headteacher, but the embarrassment Instead, I took action. I hid her documentspassport, tax number, everything. No passport, no registry office wedding.
Call me mad? Go on. Better that than picking up the pieces after the groom disappears post-ceremony. So I wait. If he stays without pushing things, maybe hes genuine. But if he starts pestering within a week well, then well know the truth.
Sometimes love needs a bit of common sense. Especially when its someone you love most in the world.
