I’m six months pregnant with our second child, so as you can imagine, we’re especially conscious of money right now.
But this story is more about family drama than finances. My husband came home from work one evening and told me, “Mum and Emily (his niece) are coming over, but don’t worry, Ill handle everything. Mum won’t say or do anything. Stay calm, love, dont get stressed.” Funny, isn’t ithe tells me not to worry but he was clearly a bit uneasy himself.
My husband has an older brother, Ian. He doesnt work, still lives with their mum, has three kids, but honestly, hes never earnt a penny in his life. Between my husband and me, weve pretty much paid for all three of them.
I said to my husband, “Just dont give them any money, please. We have to get Ben a new coat, I can’t squeeze into my old one anymore. Lets go shopping tomorrowmums coming, so we cant have an empty fridge.”
Ben and I were delighted once we got back homemy husband never denies us anything, weve always had enough from him and hes so attentive.
Then his mum arrived and straight away, she made some comment about my bump. She didnt think we needed another child, especially “in these hard times.” I nearly rolled my eyes.
My husband had to step in, “Mum, Ive got money, I can look after my family, honestly. You should be more worried about Ianhes got three kids and never works.” Turns out, that’s exactly what she wanted to talk about. “Sarah (Ians wife) is pregnant. We took out a loan but we cant afford to pay it back,” she said. I knew it! My husband was ready for this, and I just did my best to stay out of their chat.
“Mum, I need money myself right now. See, Bens wearing his new coat. Do you think it magically appeared?” he said. Then his mum went, “Why does he need a new coat? You couldve asked us, we have old ones lying aroundhe could wear those! But Emily, your niece” My husband didnt hold back, “I work so my son can have nice clothes, not hand-me-downs. And Emily is doing just fine, shes always dressed well.”
She persisted, “Thats just it, son. We took a loan to buy clothes for everyone, but then other bills popped up… We thought you might be able to help.”
But my husband held firm, “Mum, Im not giving Ian any money. Hes old enough to find himself a job instead of living off you. He needs to stand on his own two feet.”
Deep down, his mum knew he had a point, but shes a mumshe loves both her boys equally and didnt want to hurt Ian. My husband bought train tickets for his mum and Emily, gave them a lift to the station, but didnt hand over any cash.
Maybe I sound a bit selfish, but I believe every family should look after their own. You cant just sit around waiting for handouts or expect your parents or siblings to look after you forever.
