My Husbands Mistress
Millie sat in her car, glaring at the satnav. There it wasthe address. Shed arrived. Now all she had to do was summon a kernel of courage and go through with her plan. She took a deep breath, flung open the car door like she was storming a castle, and marched fifty determined metres towards a small coffee shop. Coffee Heaven, read the sign outside, oozing a sense of optimism Millie was decidedly not feeling. Oh, very heavenly indeed, she scoffed silently. She was meant to go in, but suddenly her resolve tried to make a break for it. Maybe she ought to just say stuff it, head back to her car, and drive somewhere as far away as possibleCornwall, perhaps? No, Millie was no quitter. Not after coming all this way.
She yanked the handle and stepped inside, bracing for the most awkward encounter of her life. She was about to face HERher husbands mistress, homewrecker extraordinaire. What did Millie know about this woman? Precious little, really. Her husband called her Kitten, which was gross on several levels, and she worked here as a waitress. Millie selected a table by the window so she could retreat into a quiet daydream if needed, then settled in to wait for Kitten to arrive and take her order. Here she camedefinitely her. Millie recognised the girl from a photo shed glimpsed. And now, in this cringe-worthy reality, the mistress was marching right over.
Good morning! chirped the waitress. Millie sneaked a look at her badge. Katie. Right. So her husband hadnt even tried coming up with something clever or mysteriousjust plain old Katie. Typical. Oblivious to the telepathic daggers Millie was aiming at her, Katie continued, Can I get you a menu? Just shout when youre ready.
Millie, wearing her brightest, fakest smile, began sizing up her rival as if she were Pinocchio and this girl was a particularly shoddy marionette. How did Millie end up here, eyeball to eyeball with her husbands mistress? Well, its a saga, but in short: shed been happily married to Alex for ten yearsor at least, she thought she had. They had a daughter, Emma, aged eight, who Alex spoiled rotten, especially whenever Millie sighed, Did she really need a twentieth doll? Alex would simply shrug, defenseless. Emma was a total Daddys girl. Sometimes Millie wondered if her daughter loved her husband more than her own mum, but she didnt care. Millie was a psychologist, after all; she knew how important a fathers love was for a girls healthy future relationships.
Millie had always made a point of talking through issues with Alex, so their rows never escalated past mild grumbles. They were a frightfully normal, moderately average family: a flat with a mortgage, a car, and a poky little cottage an hour outside Reading.
And thenkaboom!a mistress turned up.
Millie discovered her existence entirely by accident. A few days back, Alex was in the shower when his phone rang. He shouted, Thatll be Dad! He promised to ring this evening. Can you answer it? My hands are full. Millie had never taken Alexs calls before, but since he was practically begging, why not speak to her father-in-law? But as she reached for the phone, she noticed the caller wasnt Alexs dad. It was a WhatsApp call from someone called Kitten, and there was a profile photo, tooa complete stranger cuddling up to her husband. Millies pulse leaptwhat on earth? She felt faint and wasnt sure what to do. Should she answer? Confront this girl? Before she could decide, the call ended.
As she tried to tiptoe away from the cursed device, a message pinged in: Ally, Im working two-on, two-off from Monday next week. Pop into Coffee Heaven at the end of my shift, I want to treat you to my special brew. Miss you, love you followed by a row of hearts and smileys.
Millie dropped Alexs phone as if it had become a venomous snake. She doubted herselfmaybe she was overreacting. But, honestly, what else could she make of Kitten clutching Alex in her profile photo, ringing up, then sending that message? However painful, the truth was clear: Alex was cheating. How long had it been going on? Was this just a fling? Or something more? Either way, Millie was devastated.
Alex emerged from the bathroom, towel wrapped around him like Julius Caesar, and asked if shed spoken to his dad. Millie said she hadnt had a chance to answer. Then she blamed a headache and claimed she needed to nip to Boots.
Boots was a lie. Instead, Millie plopped down on a park bench near their flat and tried to piece her life back together. She rewound their entire marriage, searching for cracks shed missed. She couldnt find any. But here was the reality. Millie was not one to sweep things under the rug and paddle along in a half-sunk marriage. Nor was she about to have a blazing rowshe preferred civilised conversations, however wobbly her voice might be. Part of her wanted to ask Alex outright, So, whos the kitten? But then shed have to explain snooping on his phone. No, there must be another way.
Then she remembered: she knew which café the mistress worked at. Shed seen her photo. Handily, she even knew the girls rota. Maybe, just maybe, she should go there, see this mysterious temptress in the flesh? Maybe even confront her.
The next few days were a blur. Millie barely slept, had no appetite, and did her best impression of a functioning grown-up. But her misery was obvious to Emma, and certainly to Alex. She brushed off their questions, blaming exhaustion and a tricky client at work. Emma hugged her, uncertain; Alex cast suspicious glances.
At last, Millie reached breaking point and told herself: just go. Go to Coffee Heaven and see Kitten for yourself.
***
Ill have a latte and whatever dessert you recommend, Millie ordered, trying for casual.
Our honey cake is good, suggested Katie.
Fine. Honey cake it is.
When the infamous other woman set the items down, Millie could barely bring herself to taste them. The coffee was average at best; the honey cake forgettable. The place was desertedeleven in the morning wasnt exactly prime coffee time, after all. Millie had chosen this quiet hour hoping for a private word, and it seemed to have paid off. Ten minutes later, Katie tiptoed over, concerned: Youve hardly touched your cake. Would you prefer something else?
No, its not the cake. No appetite. Head full of thoughts, Millie replied.
Oh, sorry. Ill let you be
Actually, Katie, youre not bothering me. Im just wondering what on earth Im going to do next. Eat my dessert? Or file for divorce? What would you choose? Millie fixed her with an oddly cheerful stare.
Katie looked visibly startled. The woman must have seemed unstable.
Thats not a choice Ive ever faced, she stammered.
But if you did? Suppose you found out your husband was cheating on you?
Katie said nothing, just stared. Millie changed tack. Have you worked here long?
Around a year, said Katie, tensing.
Are you a student?
Yes Katie was wary but answered.
Whats your course?
Arts, at the University of Reading. She hesitated, self-conscious.
Fascinating. I suppose youre good at imagining things, then?
What do you mean? Katie asked, frowning.
Well, could you see things from the point of view of a wronged wife? Orlets saya mistress?
Katie just squirmed in silence, looking ever more uncomfortable. Millie abruptly realised how ridiculous this all was. Shed come here and raised her blood pressure for what? To yank some strangers hair, throw tepid latte in her face? Would that help? Highly unlikely. Millie sighed and asked for the bill.
When Katie returned, her squirrelly customer had vanished, leaving behind a neat pile of cashcomplete with a hefty tip.
Katie glanced out the window and, for some reason, sighed sadly.
***
In that café, Millie made a decision. Shed go ahead and celebrate the tenth wedding anniversary with Alex as planned. No need to ruin things for Emma, whod been planning for weeks and had managed to make a homemade banner. After the big day, then, shed have a proper talk with Alex.
And so, Millie, Alex, and little Emma gathered in their favourite bistro to mark ten yearswas it the tin anniversary? The wooden one? Or, as Millie thought privately, maybe glassfragile and about to shatter, but everyone pretending its fine. The meal edged towards a close when Alex winked at Emma and announced, You cant have a party without cake!
I want the biggest slice! Emma shouted, seizing her moment.
On cue, as if in a West End farce, the staff swept in with the dessert. Millies jaw nearly hit the table when she clocked who was carrying the cake. It was none other than Katiein the flesh. Or Kitten, or the mistress, or whatever you liked. There could be no mistake.
Katie set down the celebratory cake and stood back. Alex shot her a fond smile before turning to Millie.
Happy anniversary, darling! This cake is for you. A childrens entertainer appeared and whisked Emma off for some party games.
Millie couldnt muster a single word. Alex stepped in. So, it seems youve met Katie already.
Katie offered a polite nod.
No matter what comes our way, you and I are rock solid. Thank you for being in my life, Alex declared, moving in for a kiss. Millie pulled away.
What is all this, Alex? she asked.
It was a prank, love. Yes, a silly one, maybe, butwell, thats what it was, Alex said, spreading his arms.
A prank? Millie echoed, stunned.
Yes. I hired an events agency that specialises in unusual celebrations. They write custom scenarios, hire actors for us, it was my affair. He grinned. But youyou were brilliant! So calm! So wise! Im lucky to have you. He tried for a hug but was rebuffed.
So, theres no mistress? Millie asked.
Alex grinned. Of course not.
And Katie?
Im training, Katie piped up, at drama school, and I make a few quid working here and at the agency. You handled it way better than other wivessome chucked coffee at me, others swore loudly enough to terrify the customers. You were nice to me. Even left a tip.
I have no words, Millie stammered, flabbergasted. Alex, what sort of maniacal joke is this? Appropriate, is it? Forgivable? Her voice rose. For once, calm and steady Millie was raising hell.
Katie, eyes wide, tried to scuttle off, but Millie stopped her with a hand. For the first time, Alex witnessed his wife in full meltdown mode.
Do you have any inkling what these last few days have been like? What on earth possessed you to organise something like this right before our anniversary?
Alex tried to explain. Its just youre always so composed. I wanted to I dont know, spice things up a bit. Inject some spark. Yes, it was foolish. Im sorry.
Millie fought back the urge to hurl herself across the table. Katie slipped away at the first opportunity.
Oh, you want a spark? Heres your spark! Millie seized the cake plate and smeared the confection right into Alexs face. A dash of spice, filling and all, courtesy of your devoted wife!
Alex flailed, scraping icing from his nose. Are you out of your mind?
No, darling, Millie replied sweetly, just trying to keep things exciting. With that, she stood up and walked out of the restaurant.
What in Gods name is wrong with you? Alex bellowed after her. I didnt even cheat!
Millie paused, turned, and replied with feeling, Id almost rather you had!
She went to Emma, took her hand, and together they left the bistro. Outside, she breathed in the cool evening air and let out a light, ringing laugh.
Mum, whats up? Whats so funny?
Oh, nothing, sweetheart. Just remembered an old joke.
Will you tell me?
Of course, but first, we need to have a proper talk. You see, we might need to live separately from Dad for a little while
Apart from Dad? Forever? Emmas eyes widened in fright.
I dont know yet, love, Millie said honestly. Time will tell. Are you with me? Emma nodded solemnly.
And they walked off together down the dusky street.
