You forgot to ask me! Take the guests in and dont make a fuss! declared the motherinlaw to her daughterinlaw. This time, though, she got a taste of her own medicine.
What, that doesnt concern me? Are you serious? I live here, this is my flat too, so Im telling youno! Imogen stood in the doorway, determined not to let her motherinlaw and the company inside.
You werent asked who to house and where! snapped Margaret Whitaker. Just take the guests and keep quiet. Come in, Molly, Peter, thats her joke.
With that, the woman forced a false smile on the newcomers, slipped inside and dragged an elderly couple behind her.
Do I really have to fight with you? Imogen asked, exasperated.
No need to pick a fight, love Margaret said, grinning again. If Mark were home now you wouldnt be snapping at our relatives. My son is a good host and respects his family. You could learn a thing or two, since youre already so uncouth.
Five minutes earlier Margaret had rung the intercom downstairs. Standing by the hallway, she asked Imogen to let her in. Without a second thought Imogen pressed the button, opening the door for her motherinlaw, even though she barely understood why anyone should be there while her husband Mark lay in the hospital with an appendix.
When Imogen finally opened the flat, she was both surprised and indignant. Beside Margaret stood a man and a woman she had never seen before, each clutching a suitcase.
Meet my cousin Molly and her husband Peter. Theyve come to visit family. Margaret announced as if it were already settled. Id house them at my place, but Ive got my longtime friend Zina from Brighton with her grandchild. So Imogen, welcome the guests. Molly and Peter have graciously agreed to stay with you.
Now, with a small army of strangers practically storming Imogens flat, she didnt know whether to call the local constable to evict them or first ring Mark in the ward.
Meanwhile the uninvited guests began unpacking their bags, eyeing the flat with growing interest.
Its cosy and spacious. Tell us, Imogen, is the tube far from here? Wed like to pop into the city tomorrow, wander around, admire the landmarks and historic buildings, asked Molly.
Imogen barely opened her mouth before Margaret beat her to the reply.
Not far at all. Ten minutes walk, nice and easy. We chose this flat with my husband for Mark, making sure the park, the tube, the shops and the school were all within reach, Margaret said proudly.
Well done, Margaret! Youve got him educated and a flat sorted, Molly continued, chatting with her motherinlaw as if Imogen werent even there.
Ill call Mark. Its outrageous how you behave! Imogen muttered, the thought of sharing her home with strangers making her smile crumble.
Call him. Let my son be happy to see his aunt and uncle, whom he hasnt seen in ages. Shame Mark cant host them properly right now, the motherinlaw retorted, looking at Imogen with a hint of rebuke.
Imogen did dial Mark, who had had surgery just two days earlier. He didnt answerlikely dozing after a painkiller. She decided not to try again right then.
It wouldnt have been that hard to accommodate Marks relatives if things had been handled sensibly. The motherinlaw could have asked first whether Imogen could host them, rather than barging in and insulting her.
Margaret seemed to believe that the purchase of the flat was entirely her and her husbands achievement. The couple had bought it on a mortgage, with the first deposit borrowed from their parentsboth sets of grandparents had chipped in. Yet Margaret liked to put herself at the centre of the story, ignoring everyone elses contribution.
Imogen didnt like Margaret much; she thought her son could have found a better wife. She never hid her contempt, confident that Imogen wouldnt be able to stand up to her.
Nervous, Imogen tried Mark again; the line only hissed with a dull tone. She gave upafter all, he was in hospital, not on holiday.
Alright, dear, Ill leave you to your guests. My house is full of visitors too, and they need my attention. Settle in, get some rest. Well arrange a catchup tomorrow, Margaret chirped as she left, leaving Imogen alone with the strangers.
Imogen realised shed have to let them stay for the night. Throwing them out wouldnt be hard, but she wasnt sure how Mark would react, and she didnt want to argue with him while he was ill.
No worries, weve already had dinner. Just give us a place to crash for the night, and thats it, the guests said politely.
Later, Mark finally called back, asking how his wife fared.
Its a nightmare! Imogen whispered from the balcony, closing the door so the guests wouldnt hear. Your mother has turned the flat into a circus again!
What happened, love? Dont scare meIm not feeling great either, Mark replied.
Shes brought some distant relatives to live with us! My cousin Molly and her husband Peter, straight from whoknowswhere. She barged them in and left. Ive never seen them before, Mark! She called me names and shoved them right in.
Im a bit muddled, you know, after the operation. Did your mum say they were coming? She mentioned a visit a couple of weeks ago, but why here?
Exactly my question! She probably doesnt want to deal with the hassle of hosting, cooking, entertaining So she dumped it on me!
Ill call her and ask her to take them back. Theyre strangers to you, after all. Maybe its too late for tonight, but they can stay until tomorrow and then go back, Mark tried to reassure her.
Honestly, Id rather not have them overnight, but fine, Ill let them stay. Its your family after all, Imogen sighed.
Molly and Peter stayed. The next morning, as Imogen headed off to work, she told Marks relatives they could just slam the front door behind them when they left.
Youre not giving us keys? they asked, bewildered. How will we get back in? Or should we wait on the landing for you to return from work?
You wont get back in, because you wont be living here, Imogen replied curtly and walked away, ignoring their complaints.
What are you thinking? Margaret called straight away. Why didnt you give Molly and Peter the keys? You said theyd live here!
Hasnt Mark called you? Imogen retorted.
He did, but I told him its your duty to welcome guests, especially family. Dont give him a headache with your whims. Let him recover! Margaret tutted.
Imogen switched off her phone, hoping the unwanted relatives would never manage to get back in. She wasnt about to open the door to anyone else again.
That evening, she walked in to a disturbing scene. Peter and Molly were at the kitchen table, nibbling cold cuts and cheese theyd found in the fridge. Worse, they were sipping cheap lager, already a good hour in.
Oh, Imogens here! slurred Molly, her voice thick. Cook us something quick, were starving. We cant work out your fancy new cooker, weve been poking at all the buttons for ages.
Yeah, were stuck here all day because of you, no chance to see the city. You didnt leave us any keys! Peter added, his speech wobbling.
Imogen fled to the phone and dialed the local police, reporting strangers who refused to leave.
Margaret Whitaker, fetch your drunken relatives before the constable gets involved, Imogen told the officer. If they dont pack up, theyll be spending the night in a cell.
When the flat finally cleared, Imogen breathed a huge sigh of relief. She tried not to replay the snide comments Margaret had thrown at her.
Ungrateful! We welcomed her into the family and she acts like the worlds against her! Margaret shouted, fuming.
Alone, Imogen plotted revenge. Shed make Margaret pay.
She rang her own mother.
Mum, hello! Hows dad? Everything alright? Could you give me the number for our cousins back in the village of TiddleyWick?
Why would you need them? Theyre always up to something, you know. her mother replied, puzzled. Whats the plan?
They love a good night out, love a bit of a buzz. I want to invite them over, Imogen said, a mischievous grin forming.
Her mother tried to dissuade her.
Darling, maybe dont go that far
No, Mum. It has to be done.
A couple of days later, Margaret knocked on Imogens door. Opening it, she found Imogen surrounded by a ragtag bunch of people who looked more like a group of rougharoundtheedges holidaymakers than respectable relatives.
Good afternoon, they said politely, the smell of cheap whisky hanging in the air.
Margaret, looking utterly bewildered, was nudged aside as Imogen ushered her own family in.
Come in, make yourselves at home. Theyre my relatives from the countryside. A bit rough, maybe, but hardworking!
Theyll stay a few days, Imogen added.
What? Who did you bring? Margaret gasped, horrified.
Im off on a work trip, Marks in the hospital. As you put it, hosting relatives is your direct duty, so here they are, Imogen replied dryly.
Margaret stepped back, speechless. Imogens cousins laughed, clapped each other on the back, and settled in.
Later, Imogen told her own family the whole scheme, asking for a little help.
If things go sideways, dont call the police, just clean up yourselves, she warned.
No worries, weve handled worse, they chuckled.
The next day Mark called from the ward, saying his mother was furious and didnt want to speak to Imogen any longer. Shed even ordered that Imogens belongings be removed from the flat.
Perfect! Imogen said, smiling. Thats exactly the lesson I wanted.
She thought, Now shell finally learn to respect me.
And so Margarets unexpected relatives survived a full day in the flat, giving Imogen the sweet, ironic revenge shed been craving.
