My Sister-in-Law’s Children Drive Me Crazy – I Don’t Want My Daughter Spending Time With Them “I respect you and your daughter, but I don’t want your children coming over when I’m at work. Their behaviour is simply unacceptable,” I told my mother-in-law. “And you’re not bothered that your daughter is home alone all day? At least Anna’s kids play with her—they keep her from feeling bored,” my mother-in-law argued. “She’s fine entertaining herself. When I have time, I’ll invite you over. But I still don’t agree,” I replied. “What did they ever do to you?” I hear this kind of thing often, because my mother-in-law refuses to accept my decision. My daughter is 11. We live in the suburbs, and my sister-in-law lives nearby with her two kids: a 13-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter. They always seemed to get on well with my daughter. I always kept an eye out and never noticed anything unusual. My mother-in-law is convinced Anna has raised perfect children, but the truth is very different. She only sees her grandkids during the holidays, so she doesn’t know what they’re really like. While my daughter is calm and well-behaved, my sister-in-law’s children are absolute whirlwinds. They snatch toys and recently took money from my handbag to go buy ice cream and lemonade. They turn up unannounced and take over the house. They play, eat whatever they want, and have zero manners. If they don’t like what’s for dinner, they demand something tasty instead. “I won’t eat soup. Give me some money—I’ll pop down the shop,” Anna’s son said to my daughter. “I haven’t got any,” she replied, embarrassed. “Well, your mum has. Take her purse. If you don’t, I’ll find it myself.” And he did. He took money from my handbag and left. My daughter didn’t get anything, as she hadn’t touched the money. When I called my sister-in-law, she scolded me for leaving cash lying around. “Anna, this is my house. Your son has rifled through my belongings—please have a word with him. In our family, we don’t take things that don’t belong to us, and I won’t tolerate that behaviour.” Anna was offended at first but got over it. When I was on holiday, her kids often came over. With supervision, nothing went wrong. But then a local policeman invited my daughter in for questioning—turned out Anna’s son had stolen something from a shop, and my daughter was with him. “So what? Why are you making such a fuss?” Anna’s husband commented. Afterwards, I asked my husband to speak to his sister. He agreed. The cousins promised to behave, and Anna said she’d keep a closer eye on them. But, sadly, nothing changed. I made a deal with my daughter not to let them draw her into trouble. She kept her side of the bargain, but they didn’t. They came over again, damaged the cherry tree, and made a fire for a “picnic” using whatever wood they could find. That was the last straw—I decided to limit my daughter’s contact with her cousins. “You’re not even letting your own niece and nephew visit? They’re family!” my mother-in-law complained. “No, my child doesn’t need friends like that.” “You should raise her to be a leader, not a follower, and then there wouldn’t be any issues,” Anna shot back. I didn’t respond. I’m not embarrassed by how I raise my daughter—Anna should be the one giving it some thought. My daughter has plenty of good friends; she isn’t lacking attention. I know I’ve made the right choice.

My sister-in-laws children drive me up the wall. I really dont want my daughter to spend time with them.

I respect you and your daughter, I told my mother-in-law, but I dont want her children coming over when Im at work. Their behaviour is simply unacceptable.

And you dont mind leaving your daughter home alone all day? she countered. At least Emilys kids come over and keep her company so she isnt bored.

She doesnt get bored on her own, you neednt worry. Ill invite you round when Ive got the time. But honestly, Id rather they didnt come over at all, I replied.

What exactly have they done to you?

This is a conversation I have to have with my mother-in-law all the time, as she just cant seem to respect my decision.

My daughter is 11 years old. We live in a suburb just outside London. My sister-in-law lives nearby with her two children: a 13-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter. The three kids have always got along well enough, and Ive never noticed any problems when Ive kept an eye on them. My mother-in-law believes Emily has brought up perfect children, but the truth is a bit different.

She only sees her grandchildren during the holidays, so she doesnt really know what theyre like. While my daughter is calm and well-behaved, Emilys children are more like a whirlwind. Theyll swipe toys from around the house, and only the other day, they took my purse from my handbag to go buy ice creams and lemonade.

They show up unannounced and treat the place like their own. They run around, raid my cupboards, and are anything but shy. If I offer soup, they turn their noses up and demand something tasty.

Im not eating soup. Give me some money, Ill go to the shop myself, Emilys son said to my daughter.

I dont have any, my daughter stammered.

Your mums got some, go and get her purse for me. And if you dont, Ill find it myself.

And so he did. He found my wallet, took some cash, and left. My daughter got nothing because she didnt take any herself. When I called my sister-in-law, she actually blamed mesaid I shouldnt leave money where kids can find it.

Emily, this is my home. Your son rummaged through my things. You need to have a word with him. In our family, its not acceptable to take things that dont belong to you, and I wont have your children behaving like that.

She took it personally, but eventually calmed down. When I was on holiday, her kids would always pop round, but I kept a close eye so nothing went wrong. Then, out of the blue, one of the local bobbies came callinghe wanted to speak to my daughter. Turned out, Emilys son had been caught stealing from the village shop, and my daughter had been with him.

Its not a big deal, why are you making such a fuss? said my sister-in-laws husband.

After that, I asked my husband to have a word with his sister. He listened, the cousins promised to behave, and Emily said shed keep a closer watch. But, as usual, nothing really changed.

I sat down with my daughter and told her not to let them lead her astray. She kept her side of the bargain, but they didnt. Next time they came over, they tore branches off the cherry tree in the garden. They just wanted a picnic and said they couldnt find any firewood. After that, I made up my mindmy daughters contact with their children would be limited.

So you wont even let your daughter visit her cousins? my mother-in-law scolded me. Theyre family, after all.

No, she doesnt need friends like that.

You should raise her to be a leader, not a follower, then you wouldnt have these problems, Emily snapped.

I didnt answer. Im certainly not ashamed of how Im raising my daughterits Emily who should stop and think. My daughter has enough good friends and shes not short of company or attention. Im confident Ive made the right choice.