Why Did I Trust Him?
How long do you reckon shell be like this? asked Margaret Barnes, glancing at her daughter.
Sophie was lying in a hospital bed, clutching a photo album Margaret had brought.
Its hard to say, shrugged the doctor. Sometimes memories come back in a few days, maybe a week or two… other times… He shot Margaret a sympathetic look.
Dont stop therejust tell me straight, please. I want to know what Im facing.
Well, sometimes it takes months before someone remembers everything that happened before a head injury.
Months? Margaret sighed heavily. Doctor, forgive me if this sounds foolish, but is there any way to… speed things up? Pills? Injections? Id pay whatever you need. Moneys not a problem.
She opened her handbag and pulled out a stack of £50 notes.
Thats not necessary, the doctor replied gently. Honestly, I think whats best for your daughter is being around people shes close to. Having familiar faces around can help jog her memory. Does she have anyone else nearby?
Of course, Margaret nodded. Shes actually engaged. The weddings in three weeks.
Wheres her fiancé then?
Well… Margaret squirmed a bit. Hes busy, prepping for the big day right now.
*****
Bella, whats with the grumpy face again? Sophie bent down to stroke her cat. Are you still sulky because Im getting married? Its just what people do, you know. They get married and live together. But I promise, Ill still love you just as much as ever.
Bella looked away towards the window, clearly unimpressed by this heart-to-heart.
And Tom will come to love you too, you know. Why do you have it in for him? Hes a lovely bloke. Kind, thoughtful, the works.
Bella flicked her tail, shot Sophie a disbelieving look, then hopped up onto the bedside table where she batted a framed photo onto the floor with deliberate precision.
Bella! What did you do that for? Sophie cried, gathering the shards of glass.
The cat offered no reply, just leaped back onto the bed and curled herself up by the pillow.
Hes a good man, you see? He loves me, and I love him. Like it or lump it, Toms moving in. Plus, Mum promised to buy us a bigger flat after the wedding. Youll get your own little hideaway, promise.
Sophie rescued the photo frame and peered at the picture of her and Tom outside the registry office. That was the day they applied to get married. One of the best moments of her life, she reckonedthough meeting Tom in the first place was up there too.
*****
Sophie met Tom completely by accident.
One day, shed popped in to see her mum at workMargaret ran her own consultancy firmand nearly collided with Tom in the hallway. She just about ran the poor guy over while he was racing into Margarets office to get some urgent paperwork signed.
Oh goodness, Im so sorry! Sophie laughed, flustered. I was trying to meet Mum for lunch and didnt see you there.
Happens all the time, Tom grinned, scooping up the scattered pages from the floor.
Let me help you
No, its alright. Ive got it, he smiled, glancing at the office door plaque. Your mum is…?
Margaret Barnes, thats herand yes, shes my mum. But if youre in a rush, go on ahead.
No, you first. Ill wait.
Just then Margaret poked her head out the office, raised an eyebrow and smirked, So thats whos having a natter outside my door. Both of you, come incoffee and biscuits on the go.
And thats how Sophie and Tom met. Shed bumped into him at the office a few more times, then hed suggested they grab coffee at the café across the road, and before long, they were heading to the cinema together at the weekends.
Things moved quickly and Sophie found herself falling fast. Tom was warm, funny, and caring… and when Margaret caught wind of the relationship, she nodded approvingly:
Hes a good lad, Tom is. If youre serious about him, Ive no complaints. And you know, its high time I started living for myself. Someone to hand the business to, finally!
Six months later, Tom proposed, Sophie said yes, and Margaret promoted him to deputy managerdropping hints that after the wedding shed have a big announcement about the firm.
While Sophie waded through wedding planningchoosing venues, sorting out the guest list, appointments with photographers and car hireBella, her beloved black cat, spent her days alone at home. And Bella… well, Bella was not taken with Tom from the very start.
The first time Tom visited, he peered at Bella and asked, Shes black? Arent you ever superstitious?
What do you mean?
People say black cats bring bad luck. Like, they worm their way in, thenwell, you know…
Honestly, Tom, I thought you were above that sort of thing. Its nonsense.
I dont put much stock in it either, but, you know, with superstitions, theres no smoke without fire.
Bellas only ever been a force for good here. Fancy stroking her?
Is it safe?
Totally. Youll need to win her over if were all going to live together.
Sophie scooped Bella up and held her towards Tom, but the moment he went to pet her, Bella swiped at him with lightning speed, leaving deep red scratches across his hand.
Ouch! Tom winced, yanking his hand away.
Sophie was gobsmacked while Bella, emboldened, made a few more half-hearted attempts at him before he backed safely away.
Im so sorry, TomI dont know whats gotten into her.
Got any antiseptic?
Yes, just a sec. Sophie whisked Bella into the other room, shut the door, and hurried for the first-aid kit.
From then on, whenever Tom popped round, Bella transformed into a little demonhissing like mad as if he were some intruder. Sophie had to keep her shut in another room whenever Tom was there, and afterwards, would sit and have long, gentle chats asking her to please behave next time.
Those memories raced through Sophies mind in just a blink.
She went to the kitchen to bin the broken glass, slipped the photo into her desk drawer, then perched back on her bed.
Bella, lets try and get along, yeah? This is how its going to be, and youll just have to get used to it.
She scratched the cats head, stood up, and began getting ready. She had to pop down to the restaurant today to finalise the wedding menu. She hadnt yet told Tom her decision on the venuehed been so busy latelybut she was sure hed be happy.
*****
Sophie left the restaurant on cloud ninegot everything sorted for the big day and the manager even promised her a good discount. She fished her phone out of her bag, itching to share the good news with Tom.
He rejected her call.
Thats odd, Sophie thought.
She rang back, and after three rings, Tom answered at last.
Hey, Soph, sorryI cant talk now. Im in a meeting. Ill ring you back in a bit, alright?
Oh, okay…
She dropped the phone in her purse and headed across the pavement to her carthen stopped dead.
Across the street, she spotted Tom outside a café… with another woman shed never seen before. Eh? Sophie frowned. He said he was in a meeting… was that a lie?
She went to call him again, but then she saw something that made her knees nearly give out. Tom hugged the woman at the waist, kissed her, and his hand slid down none too subtly. The woman just laughed, obviously happy being touched in full view of everyone.
Sophies arm dropped limp, her phone hanging at her side. Tears pricked at her eyes as she stared.
How could he? Why? He said he loved me, promised never to hurt me. Did he really have no feelings for me, after all?
Tom, meanwhile, took the other womans hand and led her inside a restaurantwhere there was also a small hotel above. Sophies heart twisted with the obvious implication.
She wasnt out to make a scene, but she just wanted to look him in the eye and ask: why?
Barely aware of her surroundings, Sophie stumbled towards the pedestrian crossing, stepping blindly into the road.
It was only the screech of brakes and a sudden, sickening impact that registeredthen everything went black.
*****
Do you remember what happened? The doctor stood over her bed; Sophies head was bandaged.
No.
Do you remember your name?
No.
How about what day it is? Even just what day of the week it is?
No, Sophie shook her head. I dont remember anything. Only flashes… childhood, school, my dads funeral.
Alright. Do you know where you are now?
In hospital, I suppose?
Yes, youre in hospital. You were hit by a car. The good news is, youve no broken bones or organ damage, but you hit your head hard and have some memory loss.
What does that mean?
Youve got retrograde amnesia. That meanswell, most people get their memory back over time, so fingers crossed, yours returns soon.
Thats a relief.
Can I have your phone for a minute?
Why?
So I can call your family. Mum, husband? Fiancé?
My mum… I have a mum.
Great, Ill ring her. Now rest up. Spend the week here, and if alls well, youll go home.
*****
Margaret arrived as soon as she heard. She held Sophies hand, tears streaming despite her efforts to stay strong.
How on earth did you get yourself into this, darling? she sobbed. Youve got your wedding soon… Do you remember Tom?
No… Is he handsome?
He is, sweetheart, and lovely too. I rang him, but hes busytaking on the wedding prep. Were hoping your memory comes back in time.
You told him Ive forgotten everything?
I had to, didnt I?
Margaret visited every day, bringing photo albums and trinkets, anything that might help Sophie recall her past.
But nothing came back.
When Tom visited the day before Sophie was discharged, she stared at him as if he were a stranger. He smiled, made jokes, and promised things would be alright.
Even if you dont remember everything by the wedding, well still go through with it, wont we?
Sophie nodded, unsure what to say. She didnt even know if she loved him.
When she finally came home, Margaret brought her back to their little flatand there was Bella. Big wide eyes, full of worry.
She looked up at Sophie as if to say, Where have you been? What happened to you?
I have a cat? Sophie frowned at her mum. Why didnt you tell me?
Oh darling, the doctor said you need people right now, not pets. But yes, I looked after Bella while you were in hospital.
Sophie said nothing, just scooped Bella into her arms and cradled her, feeling suddenly safe and warm, as if holding a mug of hot cocoa. Speaking ofI wonder if I like cocoa.
Whats her name?
Bella.
Its a nice name. Why did I pick it?
Ive no idea! Margaret shrugged. I never really understood why you brought her home that day. Youd just finished exams for uni and phoned me, not to say how they went, but youd found a black kitten with the sweetest eyes…
That first week, Sophie tried everything to jog her memory but nothing worked. She wanted so badly to cry. Thankfully, Bella was always therejumping up on the bed, purring, nuzzling for cuddles. It always made things feel better.
Sometimes, though, Bella would leap off the bed and disappear into another room.
Bella, please dont go… I need you, Sophie would plead, but her little companion wouldnt return right away. Eventually, Bella would pad back into the room, settle next to her, and let out a heavy sigh, almost as if trying to say something.
Sophie asked her mum, time and again, what it all meant, but Margaret just shrugged and said, Honestly, love, you need to talk to people, not the cat. Your weddings next week and still nothings come back.
One evening, when Bella darted away yet again, Sophie decidedon a hunchto follow.
She searched the kitchen, poked around the bathroom, even the balconyno sign. In the end, it had to be the hallway cupboard.
Grinning now, she called softly, Where are you, Bella? When I catch you, Ill give you all the kisses in the world…
Meow! Bella replied.
Sophie turned at the noise and found her cat sitting on the bottom shelf of the cupboard.
And that momenta lightning bolt in her mind, a bright flashand she was nearly knocked off her feet. Sophie steadied herself, walked to Bellawho had hopped out of the cupboard, eyes full of worryand scooped her up, gently running her hand over her little black head.
Sophie just sat, stroking Bella in silence, before saying quietly,
We havent played like this in ages, have we? Ive been so shattered from everything… I forgot how much you love this gameour game. Im sorry.
Bella purred, eyes shining.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Tom stood outside, clutching a bouquet.
Hi. Your mum asked me to drop in since she couldnt make it tonight.
Come in, Sophie said coolly, holding the door. No need to take your shoes off.
Arent you going to…?
What?
Lock your cat away? You might not remember, but shes always at me. First time I came here, she scratched me to bits… actually drew blood.
Did she? Sophie smiled. Im not sure I recall promising to rehome my cat for your sake, Tom.
Well, you said you would. You promised youd do something about her.
No, Sophie replied gently. I promised Id try to get her to behave, but Id never give her away. I love Bella.
Tom just stared, gobsmacked, still not quite realising what was going on.
Finally, it dawned on himWait, you remember now? You remember?
Sophie nodded.
Thank God for that!
Really? Youre happy?
Of course! No need to cancel the wedding noweverythings fine.
He moved in for a hug, but Sophie stepped back, holding up a hand.
Well, Bella and I are going to be just fine now. But you and I, Tom… were not. Im calling off the wedding.
Im sorrywhat?
Sophie told him everything shed seen. No tears, no dramajust the facts. Tom stared back at her, speechless.
But, Soph, thatnone of it meant anything, it wasnt serious…
Thats your problem, Tomnothings ever serious with you. Im done, and I never want to see you again.
What if I refuse to leave? I love you!
You wont? Sophie said quietly. Then I suppose youll have to run instead.
She let Bella down, and her loyal cat hissed and charged at Tom with an energy shed never seen. Tom bolted so quickly, he nearly left his shoes behind.
Sophie closed the door, relief washing over her. The only thing she regretted was that you cant just forget people and pain as easily as youd like. But, as people say, time healsand Bella was there, purring. So she would forget, sooner or later. Like a bad dream.
That evening, Sophie rang her mum. Mum, its all come back! But… its over with Tom.
Margaret was silent for a bit. Never mind the weddingthats not the end of the world. Youre safe, youre well, and your memories are back. As for Tom, Ill have him out of the business by end of play today.
Im not upset, Mum. In fact, Im relieved. And I owe it all to Bella. How did she know what to do?
Margaret laughed, You know, I read somewhere that in Britain black cats are actually lucky, especially for brides. Maybe Bella was sent to make sure youd find happiness.
Sophie smiled for the first time in ages. Youre right, Mum. Bella is my happiness. I wouldnt change a thing.For the first time in weeks, Sophie flung open the windows and let the spring air sweep through the flat. She brewed a cup of cocoa, piled it high with marshmallows, and settled onto the sofa with Bella in her lap. Outside, dusk painted gold on the rooftops, and for once, she didnt dread the night; she looked forward to tomorrow.
As she gently scratched Bellas chin, the little cat blinked up at her, a slow, knowing stare, like she understood everythingas though she always had. Sophie leaned close and whispered, Youre my family, little one. Well be alright. We always were.
A knock at the doora soft, polite tapinterrupted her quiet. When Sophie opened it, Margaret stood there, holding a bakery bag in one hand and a key in the other. I thought you might fancy a fresh start. I picked these up on the way homeyour favourites, chocolate eclairs. And this, she pressed the key into Sophies palm, is for the new flat. Just you and Bella, when youre ready.
Tears welled, but Sophie smiled and pulled her mum into a fierce hug. Thank you. For everything. For being here, and for believing meeven when I didnt believe myself.
Margaret stroked her daughters hair. You dont have to remember everything, sweetheartjust remember youre loved.
The two women curled up with Bella between them, eating eclairs and planning what colours theyd paint the new place. Maybe lemon in the sitting room, lilac in the bedroom, a window seat for Bella to watch the world go by. Every once in a while, Sophie would pause, look around at the golden glow and think: maybe losing everything was a strange kind of gift, a way to start again without regrets or shadows.
Later that night, Bella snuggled close, purring ferociously, her loyalty stitched warm and tight beside Sophies heart. And as the old pain finally faded into the dark, Sophie closed her eyes, feeling more herself than everremembered or not.
Sometimes, you could trust your heart, even when you couldnt trust your mind. And sometimes, the best protector wore a coat of midnight and purred out the promise of happiness yet to come.
