Heres the menu; have everything ready by five, I dont want to be stuck in the kitchen on my own jubilee, the motherinlaw commanded, then deeply regretted it.
Anna Petrivna awoke that Saturday morning feeling festive. Sixty yearsa round, celebratory milestone. She had been planning the day for months, compiling guest lists, choosing outfits. In the mirror she saw a satisfied woman accustomed to everything going according to her design.
Mom, happy birthday! Andriy was the first to appear in the kitchen, holding a small box. Its from us and Oksana.
Olena gave a silent nod while standing by the stove with a coffee cup in her hand. She was never very talkative in the mornings, especially when it involved her motherinlaws family celebrations.
Thank you, Andriy! Anna Petrivna accepted the gift with an exaggerated smile. Have you already had breakfast?
Yes, Mom, everythings fine, Andriy replied, glancing at his wife.
Olena set her cup in the sink, mentally bracing herself for what lay ahead. In recent days the motherinlaw had been in an unusually high spirit, which, oddly enough, only amplified her bossy tendencies. She seemed to believe that the festive atmosphere gave her even more license to command everyone and everything.
Olena, dear, Anna Petrivna said in that special tone that always signaled a requestturnedorder. I have a small task for you.
Olena turned, trying to keep a neutral expression. After three years of sharing the apartment she had learned to read her motherinlaws intonations like an open book.
This is the menu; have everything ready by five, I dont want to be the one standing in the kitchen on my own jubilee, Anna Petrivna handed over a doubledup sheet, handwritten neatly.
Olena took the paper, skimmed the lines, and felt a tightening in her chest. Twelve dishes. Twelve! From simple platters to elaborate salads and hot appetizers.
Anna Petrivna, she began cautiously, but thats a full days work
Of course! the motherinlaw laughed as if Olena had said something obvious. What else would we do on such a big celebration? Of course, were cooking for the birthday girl! You know the guests will be manymy friends, the neighbors We cant show up with a dirty face.
Andriy shifted his gaze between his mother and wife, clearly sensing rising tension.
Mom, maybe we should order something readymade? he suggested hesitantly.
What are you saying! Anna Petrivna snapped. On my jubilee Im supposed to feed guests with storebought food? What will people think of me! No, everything must be homemade, made with love.
Olena clenched her fists. With love of course, with someone elses loveher own, which would have to spend the whole day laboring in the kitchen.
Fine, she said shortly and headed for the door.
Olena! Andriy called. Wait.
She stopped in the hallway, breathing heavily. Andriy approached, eyes downcast.
Listen, Id help, I swear, but you know Im only a hindrance in the kitchen My hands arent made for it.
Of course, Olena forced a smile. And is it normal that your mother treats me like a servant?
Oh, come on Andriy shrugged awkwardly. Think about it, cooking for Mom on her special day isnt hard. She does so much for us, provides a home, never asks for money for utilities
Olena stared at her husband for a long moment. She could have reminded him how his mother constantly scolds her about the home, points out the order of the house, criticizes her cooking for the family. She could have mentioned how Anna Petrivna frequently reminds them that she took a girl from the countryside into the family, as if shed performed a great favor. But what would that achieve? Andriy would never understand. To him his mother would forever remain sacred, and her grievances would just be the whims of a spoiled wife.
Alright, Olena said and went to the kitchen.
The next hours flew by in a frantic rhythm. Olena sliced, boiled, fried, mixed. Her hands moved automatically while thoughts racedone more pressing than the last. Suddenly, while stirring a sauce, an idea struck her. It was so simple yet elegant that she couldnt help but smile.
She retrieved a tiny box from the pantry, one she had bought at a pharmacy a month earlier for personal use but never openeda mild laxative, advertised to take effect within an hour.
Olena examined the list of dishes. Salads and intricate cold appetizers could each receive a few discreet drops. The hot mainmeat with potatoesshe would leave untouched; after all, her husband and she still needed to eat.
By five oclock the table was overflowing with food. Anna Petrivna, dressed in a new dress and a full parade of jewelry, surveyed the kitchen like a commander before battle.
Not bad, she said indulgently. Though the capital salad could have been a bit saltier.
Olena remained silent, arranging the plates. Inside, she felt a thrill of anticipation.
Guests began to arrive precisely at five. Anna Petrivna greeted each with wide embraces, accepted gifts and compliments. Her friendswomen of the same age, equally festively attiredconstantly admired the table setting.
Anna, you really didnt hold back! shouted Valentina Ivanovna from the third floor. How beautiful!
Oh, youre too kind, the birthday honoree replied modestly, Oksana and I did our best. Truth be told, I did most of the work, and she helped.
Olena, placing plates at that moment, nearly burst into laughter. Helped, of course.
Andriy, she whispered to her husband, dont eat the salads yet. Wait for the hot dishes.
Why? he asked, puzzled.
Just wait, okay?
He shrugged but obeyed. Olena sat aside, watching guests dive into the appetizers. Anna Petrivna narrated how long she had planned the menu, chosen the ingredients, tried to please every palate.
This salad is my signature, she bragged, pointing to the capital one. The recipe comes from my grandmother.
Divine! Tamara Serhiyivna exclaimed. You have golden hands, Anna!
An hour passed. Olena checked the clock, counting down. Then the first trouble began.
Valentina Ivanovna clutched her stomach.
Oh, she gasped, something feels wrong
Me too! her neighbor at the table chimed in. Anna, are you sure everything was fresh?
Anna Petrivna turned pale.
Of course! I bought everything just yesterday!
But then she, too, felt ill. She hurriedly excused herself toward the bathroom, a line of guests forming behind her.
Olena, Andriy whispered, whats happening?
I dont know, his wife replied calmly. Probably something we ate isnt right. Thank God we didnt touch the salads.
A commotion erupted. Guests disappeared one by one into the bathroom, then returned, murmuring apologies and complaints about their discomfort. Anna Petrivna ran back and forth between guests and the restroom, trying to salvage the situation, but it was already too late.
By seven in the evening only the three of them remained in the apartment. Anna Petrivna sat on the couch, pale and bewildered.
Go lie down, Olena said sympathetically, well clean up everything.
What did you put in the food? the motherinlaw demanded, regaining a little composure.
Olena calmly sliced the meat served with potatoes.
A laxative. Only in the salads and cold appetizers. I didnt touch the hot dishes, so you can eat them safely.
Anna Petrivna wanted to protest, but another wave of nausea hit, and she fled again to the bathroom.
Olena! Andriy scolded his wife. Why would you do that?
What else? Olena replied, turning to him. You cant imagine how your mother treats me when youre not home. I dont even tell you half the incidents because I know youll defend her anyway. Mom tries, mom helps, mom gave us shelter. The fact she treats me like a servant doesnt bother you.
Andriy stayed silent, chewing his meat slowly.
Maybe its harsh, Olena continued, but Im tired. Tired of being invisible in this house, of being used and then blamed for ingratitude. Today she got a lesson. Perhaps now shell think twice before dumping all the work on me and taking credit.
Still, its too much Andriy began.
Too much what? No one was seriously harmed. Just a few hours in the bathroom. The lesson will stick.
Indeed it did. After that disastrous birthday, Anna Petrivnas attitude toward her daughterinlaw softened. She remained not overly friendly, but the sharp edges had dulled. No more condescending commands, no more attempts to shift all household duties onto Olena.
Six months later Andriy unexpectedly announced they were moving to their own apartment.
Weve saved enough for the down payment, he said over dinner. I think its time to live independently.
His mother looked at him, surprised. She hadnt expected such a decision. Anna Petrivna stayed silent, merely nodding.
Perhaps it really is time, she agreed. Young people need their own nest.
On moving day, while they were hauling the last boxes, Anna Petrivna approached Olena.
You know, she said quietly, maybe I wasnt entirely fair to you
Olena paused, a box of dishes in her hands.
Perhaps, she answered. But it doesnt matter now. What matters is that we finally found common ground.
Yes, Anna Petrivna nodded. And that birthday it was quite a spectacle.
They looked at each other and unexpectedly burst into genuine laughterthe first such moment in years, free of underlying resentment.
In their new flat, Olena often recalled that day, not with remorse but with a sort of satisfaction. Sometimes, to reach people, you must speak the language they understand. Anna Petrivna, as it turned out, only understood the language of power.
The main lesson benefited not only the motherinlaw but also Andriy. He finally realized his wife wasnt merely being difficult; she was suffering injustice. Though he still thought her methods extreme, he never again ignored her complaints about his mothers behavior.
From time to time Anna Petrivna visited their new home, bringing cake, inquiring about their lives, even offering help. She never again tried to command her daughterinlaw.
You know, Olena said to Andriy one evening in their own kitchen, I actually grew a bit fond of her after she stopped acting like a general.
I still think you overstepped, he smiled.
Maybe, Olena conceded. But the result was worth it. Sometimes the most radical tactics are the most effective.
And she was right. Peace finally settled in the family, built on mutual respect and clear boundaries. Isnt that the most important thing in any relationship?
Here’s the Menu, Make Sure Everything’s Ready by Five – It’s My Jubilee, After All, No One Wants to Stand in the Kitchen! – Ordered the Mother-in-Law, Only to Regret It Deeply
