You really have no sense of responsibility. Cant you see how much trouble Mathieu is in? Hes your brother, you could have given him a hand. All you ever think about is yourself.
A few days ago my mother called and asked me to come and collect all my things from her flat.
Your stuff is practically blocking the whole place, she said.
That call came after I refused to hand over money to my brother, Mathieu, for the downpayment on an apartment. I wasnt offering a loan; I knew full well he would never pay it back.
When I said no, Mathieu stormed out of my apartment. He was convinced I would just hand over all my savings because he has a family and children, whereas I dont.
I need to talk about this because I feel my family treats me unfairly, especially with the holidays coming up.
When I moved to Lyon for school, I immediately took a parttime job.
At first I lived in university housing, then I rented a flat with a friend. I didnt want to rely on my parents, so I made sure I could cover my own expenses while still helping my mother.
She never accepted cash directly; instead she always asked me to bring useful itemsclothes, shoes, household goods. Whenever I visited, I showed up with bags full of groceries.
My mother lives in a threeroom apartment with Mathieu. Our father passed away three years ago.
Mathieu never cared about education. After high school he went to work in Belgium, and the only thing he managed to buy there was an old car. Back in France he became a taxi driver.
Later he married Camille and moved into our mothers flat with her.
They have constantly struggled financially because Mathieu lives paycheck to paycheck. The moment they receive their salary they spend it all.
My mother and Camilles parents regularly helped them with money. Mathieu learned that there would always be someone to bail him out, so he never tried to earn more or improve his situation.
Today Mathieu and Camille have two children, with a third on the way.
They decided the apartment they share with my mother is too small and started looking for a place of their own.
I, on the other hand, live with my partner Thomas in a rented apartment. We plan to marry, but have postponed the wedding until the timing is better. Our incomes are steadyThomas works as a software engineer and I run several online stores.
We avoid unnecessary spending and are saving to buy our own home so we can live independently after we get married.
My mother knew about our plans, yet she still hinted to Mathieu that he could ask me for help.
They want to buy a flat but dont have the money for a downpayment, my mother told me.
When Mathieu came to me and bluntly said he needed money, I said no.
He was furious, believing I owed him simply because he has a family and I dont.
Later my mother called again and said:
You really have no conscience. Cant you see how much trouble Mathieu is in? Hes your brother; you could have helped him. You always think only of yourself.
She added:
Come get your things from our flat. We cant move around because of your mess. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Mathieu is angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.
I didnt try to argue. Ill collect my belongings and put them in the flat we rent. When Thomas and I finally buy our own house, Ill put them there.
I could have lent my brother money, but I know he would never have returned it. He didnt even ask for a loanhe just expected me to hand over all my savings because he has kids.
How would you have reacted in a situation like this?
