When my husband filed for divorce, I moved in with my parents along with the children. There was no way I could manage aloneI was working and looking after the little ones, who were three and two at the time.
Later, I managed to secure a mortgage and attempted to start afresh. At first, my dealings with neighbours were limited to polite hellos; I didnt make any friends.
Thats when I stumbled across Edward. He lived next door and had a son. Occasionally, Id see him in the company of a woman, so I assumed he was still married. Despite this, I found myself liking him, but drew a clear lineI wasnt about to entangle myself with a married man.
One afternoon, Edward helped me fix my kitchen tap, and I invited him in for a cup of tea. As we talked, I discovered the woman was actually his nanny, not his wife. Hed had no luck with childminderssomething always went awry. His wife had died last year, and he had no family to lean on. In that strange, drifting moment, I resolved to marry him.
We started seeing each other now and again, ringing for brief chats, taking the children out for walks in the park, sometimes letting them chase after pigeons on the green. One day, Edward appeared while my parents were visiting.
Hello. Could you look after my boy? The nurserys shut for quarantine, Im off on business, and the nannys down with something, he said.
Yes, of course. Not a problem at all, I replied.
He dropped off a bag stuffed with his sons things, a packed lunch, and detailed instructions. He said hed ring, but I never imagined hed call every half hour, asking for reportswhat his son had eaten, what he was wearing, how many times Id taken him to the playground
When he returned, a scowl creased his face because his son was wearing a red t-shirt, when apparently the instructions had demanded blue. Instead of gratitude, I got an earfulan endless stream of complaints. As he left, he added, Ill bring him round again tomorrow, yes?
I didnt refuse, though my own hands were full. But one day, I ended up in hospital. Edward rang and shouted at me for not answering the door. When I explained, he hung up.
After a while, he asked again if Id watch his son. This time I said noI had work to do. From then on, the calls and meetings vanished, fading like a dream you cant quite remember. Now, when we pass each other at the communal entrance, we only nod and say hello. I thought he might have been my man, but he only needed someone to lighten his load. I still dream that, one day, Ill meet the man who feels like the whole world to me.
