I’m 41 Years Old and I’ve Never Cheated on My Wife—But Before I Met Her, I Was No Saint and Never Had a Serious Girlfriend

I am forty-one now, and through all the years of my marriage, I have never been unfaithful to my wife. Yet before I met her, I was no shining example of virtue. In truth, I had never had a serious relationship. I was content with a single life, moving as I pleased. One Friday Id be out with one woman, and by Saturday night Id find myself at a different party, in different company. I answered to no one, made no promises, and lived as a free man.
At the time, I worked in a small electrical repair shop and earned a decent wage. Most evenings after work, Id join my mates at the local pubs or sometimes at lively dances and birthday gatherings. Now and then, Id spend the night with a woman and slip quietly away by morningnot out of malice, but because I sought nothing lasting. I always told anyone who asked that I wasn’t the settling type.
But everything changed on the day I met my wife. She was an intern on the nursing ward at St. Bartholomews Hospital in London, and I had come to fix a faulty light fitting. She asked me for help with a broken socket, and we started talking. She asked my name, I asked hers, and we both laughed. When my shift ended, she handed me her number. That same evening, I sent her a messageunlike before, this time without cheeky words or bravado. I was nervous, as if I were a schoolboy of fifteen.
Our first dates were simplewalks through Hyde Park, sharing ice cream, fish and chips on a bench after work. Slowly but surely, I stopped thinking about other womennot because she had made demands, but because my interest drifted away from everyone else. I knew at once she wasnt just another chapter.
When I finally asked her to be my girlfriend, I was clear with her: If we do this, we do it properly. I dont want anything half-baked. She looked me squarely in the eyes and replied, I dont share. I told her honestly, Neither do I. That was when I realised: faithfulness isnt just looking the other way from temptation. Its about honouring your word.
We married without fanfare. We rented a single room, slept on a borrowed bed, and cooked on a tiny, second-hand oven. Both of us worked long hoursshe did night shifts, and I took every bit of overtime I could. There was no time or energy for much adventure; we only had our bills, our tiredness, and dreams shared between us.
Of course, temptation sometimes knocked. Once, a colleague at work started texting me late at night, sending me accidental photos, hinting that I deserved more than a weary wife at home. One evening she waited for me in the car park and suggested we slip away to a local inn. I said no, got into my car, and went straight home.
Another time, at a friends party, a woman whod had too much to drink sat beside me and began stroking my arm. I stood up, found my wife, and we left without even the courtesy of goodbyes. Better to seem rude than to cross a boundary you can never erase.
My mates like to make fun, saying I used to be full of life, but now Im dull as dishwater. Theyre not wrongI am different. I used to live for myself; now I live my days beside someone else.
Not so long ago, my son asked if Id ever been with another woman since marrying his mum. I told him no. He looked at me, surprised, and remarked that most of his friends had parents whod split up over infidelity. It struck me then that my choices affected not just my marriage, but the lessons my children carried.
When I was single and young, I chased after women because I owed nothing to anyone. But the day I knew she was the one I wanted to grow old beside, I realised loyalty isnt a prisonits a decision made anew each day. And to this day, I have never once regretted choosing her.