Ethel, why on earth do we need a baby? George asked, his voice trembling with desperation. Were perfectly fine as we are. The sleepless nights, the endless diapers, the constant vigilance it will ruin my figure, Ill end up as big as a sow after farrowing. Do we really want that? Lets push the idea back another six years.
***
George and Ethel had been married for five years, and at first everything seemed like a fairytale. Then George began gently steering Ethel toward motherhood. She clung to the thought for as long as she could, then, abruptly, declared she could no longer bear the very mention of children. Their oncesteady relationship splintered; arguments flared. In a moment of humiliation, George tried blackmail, but Ethels refrain over the past months grew louder:
George, why should we deal with a pile of spit and snot? Sleepless nights, openended nappies, a body that looks like a cow after calving, and endless fatigue. And thats just the harmless side of it! I wont sacrifice my youth for this. Lets wait.
George felt his wifes words crash like thunder on a clear day. Before the wedding, Ethel had dreamed of a large family and had promised him:
Of course, darling, well have lots of childrenat least three! But not right away, okay? Lets settle first, get ourselves comfortable, then well start a family.
Five years later, Ethel suddenly announced she wasnt ready for children just yet. George, who had always yearned for an heir, tried to convince her that the time was long overdue:
Ethel, weve been together eight years, five of those as husband and wife. Its time we think about continuing the line! Weve got a flat in Croydon, a sedan, a pension plan, and weve been squirreling away the maternity fund for ages. What are we waiting for?
What makes you think now is the right moment? Ethel snapped. I need more time for myself. I have plansso many things I want to achieve! A baby doesnt fit into those plans. George, arent we fine as a pair? We have everything! Why do we need a third?
What do you mean a third? Are you calling the baby a stranger? Georges voice rose. When will you ever be ready? In a proper family, there should be children. I want to be a fatherperiod! I cant understand why youve changed your mind so sharply. Before the wedding you said the opposite!
Because, George, its easy for you to talk! You dont have to endure nine months of a growing belly, the nausea, the weight gain! Ive spent five years at the gym! And now you want to throw it all away? I wont sacrifice my shape, nor give up my lifestyle! After a baby Id lose five years of friends, shopping, a normal life! Why would I want that?
Ethel, everyone lives like that! George pleaded. Its not the end of the world; the child will grow, and youll get back to your hobbies. Ill help with everything!
George, lets put this off five or six years. Im not ready now. I dont want to fight, just understand my point of view. Its my body, and I decide what to do with it. Im not going to ruin myself.
At first George tried every trick. They watched feelgood family films, strolled through parks beside playgrounds, and he even coaxed Ethel to help with a newborn cousins fourth child, ferrying her to the Whitmore house in Hampshire. Yet Ethel showed no enthusiasm; she recoiled from the infant as if the maternal instinct were missing entirely.
***
Having exhausted every avenue, George resorted to an ultimatum:
Ethel, if you dont want children, were not meant for each other. Lets divorce and go our separate ways. Youll find someone who shares your views, and I I wont be left alone.
Ethels eyes widened; divorce had never crossed her mind. She worked from home, and George helped her with the business. A split meant finding a new flat, a new job.
George, wait! she implored. What are you talking about? A divorce? Are you really ready to lose me over this?
This isnt a joke! George snapped. I grew up in a full familybrothers, sisters. A marriage without children is doomed. Were wasting time. I asked you about kids before we married, and you always said yes! Now you say its because youre scared of gaining weight? Its absurd!
George, cant we just enjoy life as we are? A child is a huge expense. Wed have to give up everything we love. Youd be fine, but Id have to overhaul my entire lifestyle! With a baby you cant leave the house, youre on call 24/7. Sleepless nights, constant fatigueIm not ready for that. Cant you understand?
Ill hire a nanny! A housekeeper! My parents will help! Whats the problem? George shouted. Your attitude! Theres not a drop of tenderness in your eyes! Ethel, tell me what you truly want. What future do you see for us?
Ethel couldnt admit that children were never part of her plan. She wanted to travel, buy designer things, and needed a husband who could fund it all. Though she loved George, financial security weighed heavily on her mind.
She found no support. Her aunt, a stern matriarch, declared:
Ethel, youre behaving disgracefully! Youve forgotten youre married! You flit from bar to bar while I work! Stop bringing shame on the family!
Its not my fault, Aunt Margaret, Ethel retorted. George knows where I go. Weekends Im home, locked in. Give me advice, not condemnation. We argue about children constantlyhe wants them, I dont. Why now? Maybe you could talk to him? He respects you.
I wont speak to him! the aunt snapped. Hes right. Its high time you had a child. Then youll finally have sense.
Ethel refused to budge. It was her body, her decision. To deflect George, she pretended to acquiesce. One evening she flung a packet of nappies in the air and said:
Fine, George, Ill have a babyon one condition: a nanny raises him while I focus on my life.
George swallowed the lie. Meanwhile, Ethel kept taking hidden contraceptive pills and, to lull Georges suspicion, visited a friendly doctor who shrugged:
Nothing to worry about. Relax, forget about the baby for a while. Ive seen many couples who wait years and it works out naturally.
***
Six months later, the dreaded surprise arrived: a home pregnancy test showed two pink lines. Ethel froze. What now? Abort? Destroy the life shed built?
George burst into the bathroom unexpectedly. Ethel tried to hide the test behind her back, but it was too late.
Whats that youve got? he asked, stepping closer.
Ethel lowered her head. George snatched the test from her hand.
Ethel! Are you pregnant? Oh my God, Im going to be a father! He lifted her into his arms, spun her around the tiled room. Thank you, love! This is the happiest day of my life!
Ethel forced a smile, her mind racing. How would she navigate this new reality?
They celebrated at a trendy bistro in Shoreditch. A fresh wedding band glimmered on Ethels finger. George, in a crisp suit, beamed repeatedly:
Well be the best parents ever. I promise youll never want for anything. Thank you, darling!
That night Ethel lay awake, Georges joyous face haunting her thoughts. Dark doubts crept in:
Could a child really improve our lives? she wondered. Am I just afraid of change? I could lose weight, stay fitwomen manage. And its my partners child
For the first time in years, Ethels heart fluttered with an unfamiliar feeling. Perhaps she hadnt been so wrong after all.
***
Nine months flew by. George catered to Ethels whims, chose the maternity ward, attended prenatal classes with her. Ethel tried to lean on him, yet fear of labour and motherhood never left her.
When the due date arrived, Ethel gave birth to a healthy boy. As the midwife placed him on her chest, she saw his tiny, crumpled faceuncannily like Georgeslet out a soft, squeaky cry. All her anxieties vanished.
My, Ethel whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
They named him Samuel. From his first breath, Ethel dissolved into motherhood. She fed him, sang lullabies, strolled with him in HydePark. She even felt a pang of jealousy when George held Samuel. She no longer cared about the gym, or the designer bags, or the weekends in Ibiza. When Samuel smiled, the world stilled. George watched her, amazed, as she bloomed in the unlikeliest of waysnot despite motherhood, but because of it. One evening, as they sat together on the sofa, Samuel asleep between them, Ethel leaned her head on Georges shoulder and whispered, I didnt know I could love anything this much. George kissed her hair, silent, grateful. The life they had feared had become the one they couldnt imagine living without.
