Ive had enough! Thats it! If you dont stop nagging at me, I wont take the exam, I swear! I just wont go! What will you do then, eh?! Sophie threw her rucksack into the corner of the hall and tore her beanie from her head.
Her mum said nothing. She just shook her head and vanished into the kitchen.
Sophie shrugged off her coat, ready to hurl it after the rucksack, but changed her mind, opened the wardrobe, hung it up neatly, and sighed.
Oh for goodness sake, there we go again Another row over absolutely nothing.
Why does Mum always have to pick at me with questions or lectures? Does she think Im five? Or daft?
Of course she remembered she was meeting her new tutor today. Mum didnt need to bang on about it every half hour!
Okay, maybe Sophie exaggerated. Mum wasnt really drilling her over and over. She just asked whether Sophie remembered she was meeting her third English Lit tutor this year. But just being looked after made her feel so stifled lately, shed got into the habit of snappingsometimes for no reason at all.
Sophie dried her hands and stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.
What a sightteenage acne, Dads button nose, Mums wild ginger frizz. How many times had Sophie begged to dye her hair? Fat chance! Mum always wittered on about beauty growing on you and how one day Sophie would thank her for it.
As if! All her friends looked normal, and she Well, she looked like some sort of scarecrow. Braids? Who even wears braids anymore?!
She couldnt help but grin, remembering how gutted Mum had looked the day Sophie hacked off those hated plaits with the blunt scissors from her primary school craft set. The only ones she could find. Shed closed her eyes, clenched her jaw, and sawed through the tough hair, imagining Mum gasping, Sophie, why?!
Why? Because enough was enough! This was her life. Her rules. Shed do things her way from now on.
Everyone went on about how you had to listen to your parents, but why? Their old ideas were useless! She had her own. How could they get it, when back at her age they didnt even have the internet? How did they even live? She couldnt explain itno point trying. You dont need endless hours with your nose in a book these days, not when Google tells you everything in three seconds flat. Mum always insisted it wasnt the same, that the internet wouldnt teach you to be a proper person or how to talk to people. But what did she know? Mum ought to watch a few YouTube videos on understanding teenagers. Might do her some good!
Sophie absent-mindedly picked at a scab on her volcano and winced. Good job Mum didnt spot that. Another lecture incoming! Mum dragged her to the doctors and always nagged about scars, but Sophie honestly didnt care. People would like her for who she was inside, not whether her skin was perfect. How could Mum not get that?
Oof, parental unitthat was a good phrase. Yes, Mum had carried her for nine months and raised her, but that didnt mean she owned her! Sophie wasnt a thing.
She winked at her reflection.
Whats the matter, Mum? Didnt see this coming? Shouldnt have pushed her so hard on these endless tutors! Or the law school bit! She already knew more about rights and laws than either of her parents. If theyd been half as clued up, their divorce wouldve gone a lot smoother.
Mum had no pride, no drive. Dad walked out for someone younger and split the house however he wantedMum didnt even argue. The only thing for Sophie was the flat her gran left her, which was fair enough. And Mum? Child support and thats it? No compensation for years spent miserable. It wasnt like Sophie was a child anymore; she saw all of itMums silent resentment putting dinner down, Dads bored thanks across the table That makeshift bed in the study Dad used, slipping into the main bedroom each morning for his things, and the alarm Mum set to avoid seeing him How relieved they both looked when Sophie finally turned fourteen and told them to just split up. Enough, already.
Adults are weirdtheir endless We live for you! and Youre the light of our lives!
Lies, all of it! People just live for themselves. Thats how it is, and Sophie knew plenty of examples. Even when it looked like something was for her, her parents were just using her as a convenient bargaining chip.
Take their current flat. Same old building but a different entrance and down to just two bedrooms. Better done up, nicer furniture, but Mum got the deal she wanted out of Dads guilt. Sophies room is biggernot for her sake, but so Mum and Dad could split things neatly and avoid future fights. Sophie as the bumper in their collision
Sighing, Sophie reached for the tub of ointment the GP gave her. Just for the skin, thats all. Doesnt mean Mum was right. The stuff actually works, and tonight it mattered.
Becausewellthe roof
The roof only appeared in her life a few months ago. Back then, Maxthe boy shed only ever admired from afar, never daring to even say hellomessaged her out of the blue: Fancy hanging out?
At first, she thought it was a prank. Everyone in her class knew she had a thing for him. They teased her, but not nastily. People liked Sophie. She never minded sharing her homework, or raising a hand in class to save her mates from being put on the spot.
Selwyn, I asked you already last lesson. Why are you volunteering again?
Oh, Miss Payne, its just such a fascinating topic! Was King George really a tyrant? Would you call his regime totalitarian?
Even Mrs Payne, the scary history teacher, couldnt help but take the bait, and the class would breathe easy knowing yet another pop quiz was dodged.
So, when Sophie showed the message to her not-so-friendly-friend Polly, she just scoffed. And? Whats with the drama?
Was it really him? Sophie muttered.
Babe. Just ask. Honestly. What century do you think youre living in? Girls ask boys out all the time. Youre scared to even check who sent you a text?
Sophie didnt reply. How could she have explained the chaos in her head when the words finally made sense?
But she went. They met on the old roof and after that, life wasnt quite the same.
The abandoned blocks rooftop, turned into a hangout, was hardly the safest spot. But every time Max took her hand, warning softly, Carefulwatch your step, her heart would hammer and shed follow, counting each stair.
Fifteen, sixteen Go on, thirty-two, thirty-three What are you scared of? Hes right here
Thats where Max first put his arm around her, right there in front of everyone, like he was staking his claim. Nobody arguedthough the girls from the other form gave her withering glances. Max had been mates with them forever, but hed chosen Sophie, not anyone from his lot.
He kissed her there for the first time too
Everyone else had gone to the cinema. Sophie fancied seeing the film, but when Max squeezed her hand and whispered theyd go together another day, she just stayed, with a weird sense the evening was going to be special.
And it was. Even now, sometimes, Sophie finds herself zoning outwith her eyes shut, just hearing his voice: Sophie, I really like you I dont have the words for it, but Ive never known anyone like you Can I?
And his kisses, gentle and soft and oddly sweet
Sophie closed her eyes and tried to recapture that happiness, but then Mums voice scratched at the door: Sophie, youll be late. Lunch is ready
Red mist descended. How many times?!
She stormed out of the bathroom, practically spitting sparks. Her face probably looked just like that meme of the furious winged granny screeching at someone off-camera.
What do you want from me?! I havent forgotten, alright? Will you leave me alone? Or what, is it Dads turn? He left you, did he? Now youre focusing on me? Fine! Ill go live with Dad! Got it? If you dont stop
Sophie didnt get to finish. Mum just let out this tired sigh, andout of nowhereslapped her across the face.
Go on, then! And when you come home tonight, dont forget youve got your English mock tomorrow morning. You need to sleep
Sophie froze. Mum had never hit her. Not once, not ever. She wasnt even upset, not reallyit was mostly shock. Mum, whod always just put up with her stroppy fits, had finally snapped.
But giving in wasnt in Sophies nature. Bag. Coat. Headphones. She wanted to slam the front door so hard the whole block shook, but she held herself back. No need to let Mum think shed lost it.
She darted down the street, checked her phone. Right. There and back would take an hour, an hour with the tutor, which meant Max wouldnt be free till about six. Perfect; Mum could stew on it for a bit. She probably needed to. Dad never even picked up Mums calls first time anymore, so Sophie would have time to talk to Max. Maybe hed have some advice? His parents practically left him alonejust a debit card with a set monthly limit, the best trainers and jackets, but no checking up. He said his mum was too busy and his dad thought sixteen was the right age to learn to be an adulthe could get a Saturday job, sort out his own revising, pick his own future.
Some people know how to parent, dont they?
Not like her mum
Dad phoned just as she reached the lane near the tutors house.
Whats this I hear? Your mum says youre moving in with me?
Oh, please, Dad. More drama. Dont drag me in. Your Katell pop any day now, and whatIm meant to babysit? No thanks! Im busy enough.
Just dont rile your mother, alright. Or Ill cut off your pocket money. Got it?
Thats what I like, Dadstraight to the point. Heard you.
Good. And be nice to her. She doesnt deserve this.
He hung up. Typical. At war with each other, but team up immediately when shes involved. Weirdosthe lot of them.
The new tutor was a disappointment. He barely listened to her theory about idiomsjust scoffed and handed her a battered copy of Jane Eyre, saying Read these chapters by next time. She wanted to protest, but after hearing a couple of his examples, decided maybe the reading wouldnt hurt.
She didnt want to be daft. Max was clevershe needed to keep up. All those TikToks about relationships always said, Girls should be independent and smart! She couldnt claim independence yet, but brains Well, like Mum said, you can always get cleverer. Mum had got herself together, finished her degree after all, even with Sophie in tow.
Mum had left uni when Sophie was bornswitched to distance learning, got so wrapped up she decided being Mum mattered more than a diploma. Sophie had been ill a lot as a child, and with both grans dead, there was no one to help out. Shed ended up leaving nursery after six monthshated the food, hated the other kids, hated being apart from Mums warm arms. Even Dad said, Shes way too clingy; youre always there for her. Its going to be hard later.
When Sophie started Year Three, Mum got the neighbour to pick her up after school and went back to finish university, while working part-time.
Good thing, too. Otherwise shed be sitting around counting pennies and cursing everything. Now at least she had her own little events business. Sophie liked what Mum didmaking venues look beautiful, all a bit girly somehow. But at work, Mum turned bossy, gave orders confidently, and Sophie actually admired her then. That was the kind of strength she wished she had.
Still, parental control was exhausting. In that, Dad was right. Sophie had trained Mum only to knock on her door, and rarely let her meddle in her life. Didnt stop her quietly keeping tabs on everything: no threats, just that gentle, Sophie, all right? Whats on today? Eaten?
It got to Sophie so much sometimes she wanted to howl: Leave me alone! Im grown up now! And sometimes she did: shouting, stamping, fuming, but Mum only saw tantrums, nothing more.
On her way to meet Max, Sophie longed for his arms, just to forget about all the parent stuff, exams, and other nonsense for a bit. Life was passing, and all they cared about were tests and revision!
When she reached the school gates, Max wasnt there. Odd. She hung around for a bit, then headed to the roof alone. He didnt answer his phonea first. Worry prickled inside her. Something was wrong.
Every stair felt harder than usual. She always flew up them, cradled by Maxs big, steady hand. Alone, she felt tiny.
The roof met her with a blast of cold, blustery March wind and silence. No one.
She thought about giving up and taking out her phone for the torch, when something shifted at the edge. Heart thumping, she choked back a shout as she recognised Maxs familiar shape.
Max
He was right on the edge, legs dangling, shoulders hunched. Sophie barely knew him properly, but at that moment, she just sensed he was utterly lost. Something properly bad had happened, and he was somewhere beyond reach.
Frantic now, Sophie set down her bag and quietly stepped closer.
Hi
She sat, not as daringly as he did, right on the parapet. Her feet planted safely; she didnt dare to look down. Heights had terrified her since childhood. Why she was following Max up here, she didnt know. But she was.
Hey Max didnt turn. Sophie found his hand, frozen, and squeezed it.
Youre freezing
Huh? At least he looked up now. But his eyeshollow, nothing like their usual warmthjust stared through her, both scary and inviting.
It hit Sophie thenthis was probably what her mum felt every time they argued. That raw, animal fear that you cant get through to someone you love.
Maxs hand, limp and cold in hers, made her heart clench.
How are you?
She sounded just like her mum. Same tone. The same plea: Talk to me. Just tell me. Im not your enemy!
And that did it.
Bad Max whispered and at last, squeezed her fingers back. Sophie, Im really bad
You want to talk about it?
Yeah.
She didnt pressjust offered the chance.
He finally looked at her properly, and she felt a shiver run down her arms.
Do you really think were not close? he murmured.
No, thats not it. I mean, I think youre importantand I hope Im important to you, too.
Soph, youre everything. Theres nobody else.
Her heart skipped, then galloped. She wondered if he could hear it.
Why nobody? What about your parents? It slipped out. His reaction pulled her up short.
He flinched, then shook his head, so violently she gasped.
Careful!
Yeah! Hold me. Or push me, like they did!
What? Who?
The ones I thought were my parents! Turns out, theyre not. Im adoptedgot my records today. I sort of always suspected but now its real. All this time Ive been living someone elses life. Taking someones place.
Hed started shouting. Sophie clung tightly, convinced he really might step off that edge if she let go even for a moment.
People thought Max was unbreakable, super-confident. But that was a mask. With Sophie, she saw the gentler soul. It made her feel deeply ashamed of all her strops about her own parents and her tough life.
She suddenly realised how shallow her fight for growing up really was. Max was being forced to become an adult right nowand he had nobody in his corner. For all her drama, shed always had someone, however imperfect.
Max, Im scared, she sobbed, not even noticing the tearsand it somehow brought him back.
Oi, whats this? He reached for her, and she hugged him as hard as she could.
Dont you dare I dont care what they said or did; Im not giving up on whats between us.
Im not even Max he said, hollow, and Sophie peered into his face through the tears.
What then?
My name used to be Alex. My surname was different, too.
She laughed through her sobs. So what? You could be the Pope for all I care. Youre you. Thats what matters!
Maybe. Not sure everyone will see it that way
What do you want to do, then? Go back home? Did they throw you out?
Mum was crying. Begged me to stay. I punched Dad
Why?
He tried to lock the door, stop me leaving. Shouted that I didnt understand
And do you? Really, do you? Are you sure?
What do you mean? Whats left to work out, Sophie? He was shouting again, pain vibrating through him.
Why did they tell you now?
Wind snatched away her words, but Max hunched again, clearly thinking.
I dont know he finally breathed, and Sophie relaxed. At least now he had questions, not just despair. While he was asking, she knew the edge was safe.
Want me to go with you?
Where?
To talk to them. Max, Ill go with you, and they can tell you why. After that, if you still want to come back hereI wont stop you.
He stared at her. She held his hand, and gently drew him away from the brink.
Come on
He swung round, feet back on the roof, and she hugged him, inching him further from disaster, toward action.
Im such a wimp
Rubbish! she snorted, half-dragging him toward the stairs. Anyone would lose it if their parents Anyone at all. You get me?
She stumbled, and Max caught her easily.
Careful.
Cheeky! she grinned, flicking on her torch. Weve got stuff to do!
Theyd never forget that night.
Talking to Maxs parents was draining, but essential.
The truth was toughhis birth dad was about to get out of prison and wanted to see him, and Maxs adopted mum had once been best friends with his real mum, who died in a mad situation of her own making
My mummy real mum
Yes, Max It was your father who
And now he wants
He wants to meet. But you dont have to. We just wanted you to hear everything from us, not from him. We thought wed have more time. Turns out, hes being let out early.
I dont want to see him.
Thats your choice. Whatever you decide, well stand by you.
There were tears. There was relief. By the end, Sophie knewtheyd never go back to the roof. Not now, not ever. Something in both of them had changed.
That night, just before midnight, Sophie tiptoed home, let herself in, and went straight to the kitchen. There, by the window, as always, stood Mum. Quietly, Sophie enveloped her, nuzzling into her curls and breathing in the warm, familiar scent of her perfume. And, finally, she whispered the one word that carried both apology and hope:
Sorry
And the reply was the same as always, caring, gentle, full of love:
Me too, love. Are you hungry?
No, Mum. Thanks. You know, I think I passed an exam today
What exam, Sophie? Yours arent for ages yet.
The most important one, Mum Ill tell you all about it. Later.
Why later?
Because Ive got my English mock tomorrow and I want a proper nights sleepSophie smiled, warm and fierce, squeezing her mums hand. Becausefor onceI just want to sit here with you. Like we used to, before everything got complicated. Maybe thats all grown up really is, Mum telling the truth, being brave, and coming homeeven after running away.
She rested her head against her mothers shoulder, the old hurts not gone, but softer now, shared between them.
They watched the streetlamps flicker outside, silent together, the kitchen clock ticking them forwardtoward breakfast, exams, tangled families, and whatever came next.
And for the first time in months, Sophie didnt feel trapped or torn or furious. She just felt ready. Ready for her life, messy as it was, loved as she was. Ready, at last, to begin.
