Dad, Im home! And Im starving!
Lucy kicked off her trainers, flung her bag in the hallway, and sang out, Oi! Anyone here, or is it just me and the ghosts?
From the kitchen, an overly plump, striped cat waddled in, tail twitching in mild disapproval.
Hello, Mr Whiskers! You seen Dad? Lucy gave the cats ears a good scratch and followed him towards Dads study.
Her father, who was usually buried in his research papers at this time, was nowhere in sight.
Come on, Whiskers, wheres our resident genius gone? Lucy eyed the cat suspiciously.
If Dad ever planned to go out, hed always let Lucy know. That was their agreementone of them had to know where the other was, just in case. You never know what might happen, right?
Lucys dad, Dr Jonathan Carter, was a brilliant physicist, though a little scatter-brained. Hed forget his own train stop or buy an extra loaf of bread even though there were already three in the cupboardbut hed never forget something important about Lucy.
He could reel off her school timetable, name all her mates, and even her headteachers phone number at any hour, regardless of whether hed slept or not. Test him in the middle of the night and hed still get it perfect.
For Dad, there were only two things in life that truly mattered. The first was Lucy. The second was his beloved physics.
Why did Lucy think her dad loved her more than his science? Simple. When Lucy was born, and her mother decided motherhood wasnt her thing, Dad dropped everything and took on being both parents.
Lucy barely remembered her mum; shed left Lucy with Dad and Nan when Lucy was only a year old. Before that, Mum would pop in now and again, give her a posh doll, which Nan would quickly tuck away, muttering that babies needed proper toys, not fancy ornaments. Mum was a singer with a stunning voice, ambition in buckets, and not much patience for changing nappies.
Mums talent was undeniable, and she was offered a contract in London. She didnt hesitate. She left Lucy with her dad, promising everyone it was for Lucys sake.
Meanwhile, Lucy grew up. She bumped her head, put on concerts whenever another tooth threatened, learnt how to walkand kept calling everyone Mum just to see whod answer. Nan would nip that in the bud, and Dad refused to remarry. In the end, Lucy came up with her own solution: she called Dad, Mapa (half mum, half papa).
It seemed perfectly reasonable to her. It was Dad who comforted her when she woke up early, coaxed her into eating porridge by playing games with her banana, and managed to sneak in a spoonful of something healthy despite her outrage.
Lucy loathed porridge. At nursery, shed pull off creative stunts just to get rid of itstuffing it in the toy drum, hiding it in dolls houses. Eventually, the teachers rang Dad and they sorted it; from then on, Dad cooked her breakfast himself. Pancakes, chocolate cake, or crumpetsanything but porridge. Staff called it spoiling, but Jonathan Carter stuck to his guns. Why force a kid to eat what they hate?
Strangely, this didnt spoil Lucy. She adored her dad and always listened to him. She didnt need punishmentsif Dad just shook his head and sighed, Lucy, love, whyd you do that? shed instantly know shed crossed a line and apologise before promising to fix it.
Nan never approved of Jonathans soft ways.
Youll spoil her, Jon! Thats no way to raise a child.
Come off it, Mum, hed argue, you never raised a hand to me.
I bent a switch over you once! And I was right, too. When you and Paul disappeared off to the reservoir, left me frantic! Paul came back alone and told me, easy as you please, he didnt know if you were drowned or still swimming!
Jon would laugh. You broke the whole broom over him, Mum! He still remembers it.
Served him right. Otherwise hed never be in the Navy now. And youwell, dont have another go at falling out over that Marina, eh? She was always causing trouble, breaking up friends, dumping her own child like a stray kitten. Not right!
Lets not drag that up, shall we? Lucy might hear.
She should hear!
No, Mum. She must never hear bad things about her mother. Truth, yesbut no insults. Half of Lucy comes from her.
Nan wouldn’t admit Jon was right, but she kept her peace and deferred Lucys questions to her dad. Ask him, love. He knew your mum best. Here, have a scone and dont fuss!
Nan passed away when Lucy was four. Ever since, it was just Lucy and Dad in their big, echoing flat right in the heart of Oxford. The flat came from her grandfather, who ran a factory until the day he died. He collapsed, heart failed, during yet another meeting, worrying if he could save his workers livelihoods during the endless changes. The factory survived thanks to his last-minute plan, but Jon had to take care of his devastated mother in the aftermath.
Nan never quite bounced back. She pined away, sorry she wouldnt see Lucy grow up.
By seven, Lucy could mop floors and fry eggs. At eight, she packed her own school bag and made breakfast for herself and Dad. By ten, she was running her own little show, dividing chores with her dad. She cleaned the living room and bedrooms; Dad did the kitchen, his office, and the bathroom. Cooking was a shared duty, except for one thingLucy alone looked after Mr Whiskers. Shed rescued the skinny, flea-bitten kitten and insisted he was entirely her responsibility. Dad would sneak the cat the occasional treat, earning gentle scoldings from Lucy for spoiling the ever-growing furball.
Now, as Mr Whiskers tapped her ankle, Lucy grinned. Hungry again, are ya? Lets see if Dads popped to Tesco. Wheres he gotten to in the middle of the day?
Her question was quickly answered by a note left on the kitchen table:
Lucy, popped into college. Will be home late. Mr Whiskers has been feddont believe a word from him! Dad.
Mystery solved. Nothing to worry about. She just needed to eat, do her homework, and get to swim practice.
She grabbed her swimsuit from the line, stuffed it into her bag, and checked the clock. Shed make it just in time.
There was a letter waiting for hershed spotted it the night before, but hadnt read it yet. She sat at her computer, shifting Mr Whiskers off the desk, and opened her email. Shed barely begun when a knock at the front door startled her.
They hadnt had a doorbell for years. When Lucy was little, the bell used to frighten her, so Dad and Nan just got rid. If anyone needed them, theyd knock. And Mr Whiskers would always check who it was, ears pricked and tail up.
Today, he set off for the hall, and Lucy followed, curious.
At the door stood their neighbour, Auntie Sueconfidante, babysitter, and best mate, despite the age gap.
Hey, Lucy! Your dad had to dash. Said to make sure you ate before swimming.
Bit late, Auntie Sue! Already sorted, Lucy grinned and hugged her.
Sue had always been thereshed cared for Lucy when Nan was in hospital, picked her up from nursery, hosted sleepovers when Dad was away. She could braid Lucys hair like no one else, and Dad never quite mastered it. All those girly questions, Lucy asked Sueand Sue always answered kindly.
Good girl, Sue kissed Lucys hair, then checked the soup pot with a frown. Whats Dad eating tonight?
Got some frozen pies, said Lucy.
Pies, eh? Alright, tell me about this Charlie while I peel some potatoes. Pies are all well and good, but your dad could do with a hot tea and some chips. No point gossiping if were not also chopping!
Dad loved fried potatoes, so Lucy didnt argue. She boiled the kettle, ready to spill about smacking Charlie round the head for trying to kiss her after school, when someone suddenly hammered on the doorloudly and impatiently.
Blimey, whos that? Sue wiped her hands on her apron and went to open up.
Lucy immediately recognised the smartly-dressed woman who strode in.
Mum
Dad had never hidden from Lucy who her mother was, or what she did. There were a few old photos in the albumLucy would sometimes get them out, curious to see if she looked like the beautiful young woman laughing in the pictures.
Mum kicked off her heels, dropped an expensive suitcase, flung herself to her knees and threw her arms out. Lucy! Its me! Dont you recognise me?
It all felt so staged, like something off daytime telly, that Lucy glanced at Sue with raised eyebrows.
Course I do. Get up, the floors cold and I havent mopped today.
My goddo you do the cleaning? scoffed Marina, dusting off her coat. We could always afford help but never used it. Is your father home?
Hell be back soon.
Good! Im not here for him, darling, Im here for you! Did you get my letter? No matter! Give your mother a hug, Lucy! I brought you so many gifts!
Sue moved aside to let Marina bustling in. Lucy watched as her mother hung her coat, checked herself in the mirror, adjusted her hair. Spotting Mr Whiskers, Marina nudged him away with her foot. The cat, sensing drama, began to stalk her ankles.
Get off! she shooed the cat disdainfully.
Come here, Whiskers, Lucy said, picking him up and backing closer to Auntie Sue. Sensing Lucys unease, Sue hugged her shoulders.
Its alright, darling. Im here.
Marina kept talking, pulling shiny-wrapped packages and clothes out of bags.
I had no idea what size you are; your father barely told me a thing! Just that youre alive and doing well at school. So I guessed. If you dont like anything, you can swap it when youre next in Londonor pick out your own, I dont mind. Wheres your nan? Not home? She never liked me, but for you Im willing to be civil.
Lucy went cold. She squeezed Mr Whiskers, who protested with a yowl. Sue gently took the cat into the kitchen.
Sit down, puss. Lets have no more upsets today, Sue said softly. She hugged Lucy again.
Nans gone.
This simple, rough, almost croaky statement still didnt stop Marinas performance.
So Lucy lost it, bellowing as loudly as she could:
Nans gone! And youre not here! Why have you come back?
Marina stared but found her answer quickly.
Ive missed you!
Oh, really? Only took you, what, how many years? How old was I when you left?
I didnt abandon you, darling! Circumstancesmy careerI worked so hard to get where I am
Marina faltered, but Lucy picked right up.
Because of some inconvenient little girl that messed up your plans? Leave her with dad and nan, theyll cope! Right, mum?
Lucy, please. I just
Lucy pressed her flushed cheek against Sues arm, needing her support.
So, what do you want?
Lucys knees shook. Sue held her tighter.
I want Marina stepped forward to stroke Lucys hair but Lucy recoiled.
Dont touch me. Lucys voice steeled. Sue was surprised by her sudden calm.
Im alright, Lucy assured her, rallying herself.
But Marina was losing patience: Honestly, who are you? she snapped at Sue. His new partner? Then please get on with your chores. Mumrest her soulwould have had this place spotless!
Sue snorted. Lucy allowed herself a tiny smile.
Aha! said Marina, misreading it. Youre smiling at last!
Not at you, Lucy replied instantly, her face serious again. I was laughing at your nerve.
Nerve? Where did you learn words like that?
You think Im a baby? Dad made sure I got a proper education, Mum. I know a lot. Maybe more than you expect.
Go on, then, tell me. Marina tried for a cute expression.
I know you cant take me, Lucy replied, taking a step closer. Dad sorted all that ages ago. I can live with him and only see you if I want.
But you want to, dont you? Marina looked around, seeking backupbut there was none.
Lucy, though, had both her backbone and her people.
Thats enough, Sue cut in, gently nudging Lucy towards the kitchen. Go on. Mr Whiskers is waiting. Well chat in here.
Lucy obeyed. As she closed the door, the kitchen filled with the sounds of dinnerand, behind her, a tigress facing off an intruder.
Right then, said Sue. Any future family drama happens only when Jonathans here.
And you are? Marina drew herself up. Sue planted her hands on her hips, blocking the door.
Im the one who took care of Lucy while you disappeared. I raised her, with Jon. Do you think Ill let you upset her life now? Planning to take her to London? Have you even asked her? You think a few presents will buy her?
Shell thank me one day!
Not likely. You hardly know her. She was barely a year old when you vanished. Now, you turn up with shopping bags and hope a teenager forgives and forgets? Dream on. Time to leave. Go wait for Jon outsidetheres a comfy bench. Meanwhile, I need to feed Lucy before swimming, since someone needs to think of her day-to-day.
Sue paused, breathing deep, gripping the kitchen door handlethen heard a sniffle. She turned to find Marina sobbing, mascara streaking.
What am I supposed to do? Shell never forgive me!
Sue hesitated, then tucked a clean hanky into Marinas hand. Wipe your nose. Did you think youd just saunter in and get a warm welcome? Who are you to her now? Stranger, thats all. If you want to be mum again, be ready for a long road. And unless you start putting her first, nothing will change. Clean yourself up, then wait in Lucys room. Speak to Jon when hes backand leave Lucy be until then. Shes had enough drama for today. But, tell me straight: what do you actually want?
Marina bristled, but seeing Sues look, she relented.
Im getting married. My fiancé is a good manno kids of his own, never will be, but he knows about Lucy and wants to help. He can offer so much: private schools, whatever university she wants. Shell be happydont you see?
Shes already happy, Marina, Sue said, folding her arms. Not that youd knowsince youve never been around.
II suppose not, said Marina quietly, padding away to the bathroom.
Jon came home about an hour later to find Marina in Lucys room, sitting on the floor, cradling an old rattle that had once belonged to Jon himself. Lucy had asked for it as a lucky charm for swim meets.
You kept it, Marina said; Jon knew she didnt just mean the rattle. Shes so beautiful.
I know, Marina. Why are you really here?
I thought I came for one thingI was wrong. Whos that battleaxe that defended Lucy like a lion?
A friend.
Yours? Lucys?
Ours. Dont be silly, MarinaSues married, happy, three kids of her own. She looks out for usthats all.
So Im the villain here
Thats not what I said.
Jon, will you let me see Lucy?
When have I ever stopped you? Jon met her eyes, and for the first time, Marina looked away. Youre welcome to visit; theres room. Maybe one day shell want to talk.
I hope so. Marina placed the rattle in Jons hand. I should go
She didnt say goodbye to Lucy that time. When she returned a month later, hoping for a proper visit, Lucy barely spoke. She tagged along with Sue into the woods to pick mushrooms, and they found a patch of bluebells.
Did you know these flowers are called cuckooflower tears? Lucy asked.
I did. Why?
Lucy twisted the delicate stem. Do you think she actually wants to talk to me?
Sue looked at her, searching, then nodded. I think she does.
Lucy pondered this, rolling the flower between her fingers.
Give it a try. If it goes wrong, youve always got your Dad. And me. You know that.
I do, Lucy smiled softly.
She gently set the flower back amongst the grass, looked up at the sky and shrugged, Would you believe it, not a cuckoo in sight! Auntie Sue, how long will I live, dyou reckon?
Ages and ages, laughed Sue. Long and happy! You dont need a cuckoo to predict that, not when youve got us!
Yeah, alright then!
In the end, Lucy did talk to her mum. But it took years for them to really get anywhere. It was only on her wedding day that Lucy hugged Marina with the easy warmth she always gave her Dad or Sue.
Be happy, darling, her mum whispered.
I will, Lucy whispered back, catching Dads and Auntie Sues eyes, giving them a look that meant: everythings okay now.
