A Bit of a Joke
Abby! Abby, let me copy your answers, will you?
Leahs whisper carried across the classroom, and Mrs Dawson paused, glancing up from the register she was making notes in.
Miss Parker! Settle down, would you? Do your own work!”
But Mrs Dawson, its really tough! Leah piped up, never one to hold her tongue.
Who said it was meant to be easy, Leah? And by the way, Abbys got a different paper anyway, so theres no point asking her.
What do you mean?! But shes sat right at the front!
Exactly! Mrs Dawson smirked, echoing Leahs own indignant reply. I gave her a separate task.
Thats so unfair! Leah pouted, slumping over her exercise book, her mind already racing to find a new way out.
Meanwhile, Abby sat as still as a mouse at her desk, terrified of turning round or even lifting her eyes from her page.
Everyone knew Abby was the classs go-to girl for last minute copyingthe clever clogs teachers always praised. They all took advantage, but refusing meant instant offence.
Not that Abby was spiteful. Of course she let people copy, but after her mums advice, shed learnt to do it in a way that avoided getting in trouble with the staff.
Abigail, I know youre a kind girl, her mum would say. But you need to look out for yourself too. To get into the sixth form you want youll need good grades. Dont risk your future because some people cant be bothered to learn a few rules.
Her mum was right, of course, but Abby only sighed, knowing her mother couldnt understand how hard it was to be the smart one in a class where no one cared much about school.
Theyd moved to this new school after her mum divorced her dad. There were lots of reasons, not least because Abbys little brother was now growing up in her fathers new familyborn, awkwardly, before the divorce was even final.
Abby never got much of an explanation. The adults sorted out their mess while Abby sat in her room, quietly filling page after page of her sketchbook with thick, black pencil, making certain not a trace of white remained.
It was Abbys grandma who first noticed.
What are you playing at? Poor child! How could you let things get like this?
Grandma was her mums former mother-in-law, but shed taken Abbys mums side all the same.
Hes just like his fatheralways off somewhere, for as long as Ive known him. Thats how he is… Rotten luck. Theyre like two peas in a pod, except my husband always came back, and without any new children in tow.
And you forgave him? Abbys mum, Olivia, asked quietly.
What else could I do, Liv? I loved him. He loved me, too. Or he wouldnt have come home every time.
Was it hard to forgive?
Thats putting it mildly. Truth be told, I never did forgive, not completely. Looking back, I wish Id walked away. Why did I stay? Who knows. Maybe this will sound odd, but in a way, youre lucky your husbands affair led to a childotherwise youd probably have taken him back, like me.
I dont know it hurts. Olivias eyes filled up.
I know. But Abbys caught in the middleshes like an anvil between a hammer and tongs. Think of her. My son wont listen to me, but youve always been smart. Im sad youre splitting up, Liv. Do whatever you can so Abby doesnt suffer. None of this is her fault…
Youre right. Its all on us adults.
So Olivia did something no one expected; she sat six-year-old Abby down and explained everything honestly.
Abby, your dad and I arent going to live together anymore.
Why?
Were getting divorced. You and I will live here together, and youll see your dad on weekends or whenever he has free time. Dont cry, darling. Look at me! Your dads still your dad, hes not going anywhere. I promise.
What about you? Abby smeared angry tears across her cheeks. Grown-ups were so useless! Always doing as they pleased.
Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
Dont go
It was then Olivia finally realised what Abby had feared all along, when shed been filling her pictures with black pencil.
It took a long time for Olivia to reassure herexplaining, again and again, until Abby began to let go of her fear. It wasnt easy, but in time, things calmed down. Abby started seeing her dad, not as often as she wanted, but enough to realise hed left her mum, not her. He still spoiled her and worked with Olivia to make sure Abby didnt suffer. She went on seaside holidays with her dads family, played with her little brother, and even found common ground with her fathers new wife, Claire. Claire, thankfully, was kind and treated her well, so there was nothing to be unsettled about.
Even so, what had happened left a mark on Abby. Sometimes she wondered if her dad had left because she wasnt enoughas if somehow Claires baby had filled a place she couldnt. Was she just not the right kind of daughter?
Her mum and grandma always insisted that wasnt true, that she was loved, but doubt still gnawed quietly at her heart, making her question herself just when she needed to feel strongest.
It started with small thingsa wobble in her knees when, as a Year 1 pupil, she was asked to recite a poem at the school assembly.
Shed rehearsed the poem all week with her mum, standing in front of the mirror, convinced she knew every word and would be fine, as she always was in her nursery plays, where shed had the lead roles.
But that day, it all fell apart. Abby took the mic, spotted her family nearby, andnothing! She blanked completely and burst into tears, unable to utter a word.
The deputy head, whod handed her the microphone, crouched beside her and gently wiped her tears.
Will you tell me your poem later?
Abby nodded shyly.
Luckily, Mrs Dawson didnt forget, and after class, she waited for Abby by the school gates.
There you are. Will you recite your poem for me? Id really love to hear it.
It seemed such a small thinga forgotten poem by a Year 1 kid. But for Abby, nothing else mattered more at that moment. She straightened, let go of her mums hand, and recited the whole poem, clear as a bell. The adults nearby even applauded.
Well done! I knew youd manage it!
But I couldnt do it before… Abbys eyes welled up again.
Nonsenseyou did it now! All of us heard! Thats what counts. It doesnt matter if it was on stage or here. Youre brilliant, Abby! You are, and thats straight from your deputy head. Understood?
I think so
Abby never forgot that. Years later, when Mrs Dawson became her class tutor, she was gladknowing she could trust Mrs Dawson not to let her down.
Mrs Dawson really did look out for Abby.
Shes a lovely girl, Mrs Dawson told Olivia. Very bright, but sensitive. You ought to think about a school specialising in mathsAbbys got clear potential. She needs to be around classmates just as keen as she is. Our schools fine, but well, most of the kids arent that interested in aiming highermaybe they will be one day, but right now, Abbys trying her hardest not to stand out, and that holds her back. She doesnt need to wrap herself up in wool blanketsshed be happier in a place she could be herself.
Olivia understood, but couldnt do much. The specialist school was far away, Abbys grandma was unwell, and Olivia herself was holding down two jobs, determined to save up for a bigger flat. Two of them in a poky one-bed left little space.
Hold tight a bit longer, Abby. Once Ive sorted things out, well look at you moving schools, I promise. Olivia smiled and hugged her daughter as they sat on the old sofa, watching TV.
Dont worry, Mum! I can wait
Hows school?
Alright! Abby perked up her voice, though she knew things werent all that great.
Alright wont cut it! Olivia grinned, waggling her eyebrows. Come ontell me all about it!
Abby burst out laughing and finally gave in, telling her mum everything.
No one picked on her outright in class, but shed hear them sniggering.
There she goes again, showing off! Did you hear her at History? Thanks to her, the rest of us dont stand a chance. Couldnt she just answer normally?!
No one said it to her faceuntil one day, things changed.
Abby! Ten minutes left! I havent done anything! Leah hissed, and Abby reluctantly slid her rough notebook towards her.
Mrs Dawson was distracted by her emails and didnt notice Leahs cheek.
Jack, Abbys desk mate, silently angled his book, so she could see his own version of Leahs questions.
Thanks, Abby whispered, pointing out a mistake.
Jack knew her welltheyd sat together since Reception and could communicate without words. A couple of numbers, a nod, and Jack quickly fixed his answer.
Abbys rough sheet ended up on Leahs desk. The rest of the lesson passed in silence.
But when the bell rang, all hell broke loose.
Are you actually serious?! Sitting there like a statue! End of terms here, I havent done a thing, and you justwhat sort of friend are you? Leah barked, drumming the desk with her knuckles.
Thats not fair, Leah. Abbys voice was calm, but inside, frustration flared.
Why did she always owe everyone something?
She remembered her grans wordswhenever she got cross, shed replaced swear words with What on earth, banning anything ruder.
Youre a lady, not a sailor! Behave like one!
But Gran, you swear!
Im surplus to requirements now, so Im allowed! Youre not! Ladies shouldnt want to wash their mouths with soap.
But boys swear!
Thats different! Rememberwhats allowed for one isnt for another. Its not right, but its how it is; if you act like one of the lads, youll just be one of the ladsand youd rather be a bit of a mystery for someone special one day, wouldnt you?
Dont see why not!
Because most boys dont marry their mates, darling. Thats just how its always been.
Abby would laugh, but Gran was right.
Now, as Leah ranted, Abby wanted to say exactly what Leah and her mates wouldbut something stopped her.
Give it a rest, will you! Jack snapped, cramming his physics textbook into his backpack. Why do you think everyone owes you, Leah?
Well, I thought friends helped each other! Leah snapped back. Hypocriteyou copy too!
No, he doesnt! That was too much for Abby. Jack works everything out himself. I just help if I see a mistake. And I helped you, didnt I? So whats your problem?!
Grabbing her backpack, Abby brushed past Leah and bolted out of the classroom before anyone could see her cry.
Leah didnt follow, muttering under her breath, We all know what youre really like, Abby. Dont worry, youll get whats coming to you… You should learn some humility.
They didnt speak that day, nor the next. Or the week after.
In fact, Leah blanked Abby completely, and everyone wondered what Leah would do nextshe was known for her pranks.
Abby braced herself for payback, but Leah surprised her.
Abby! Stop sulking! Its been two weeks, just breathe already! Cant we make up? Leah smiled so innocently that Abby nearly believed her.
Im not sulking.
Right. Sure looks like it! Whateverlets forget it. How are you spending Christmas? At home or going somewhere?
Leah sounded so genuine that Abby relaxed, thinking perhaps it really would blow over.
Big mistake.
Leah didnt know how to forgive or forgeteven over things shed invented.
So when Abby found a strange note in her rucksack, she didnt link it to Leah at all.
Abby! I really like you! Jack x
The handwriting looked just like Jacks. It didnt cross Abbys mind that anyone else could have written it.
How could she know Leah had spent a week watching other kids write in class, searching for a handwriting match. Then, recruiting classmates from a neighbouring form, she got her Jackish note, tucked it into Abbys bag, and zipped it up before PE.
Meanwhile, Abby practised her volleyball serves in the gym while Leahs mates distracted her.
That one was weak, Abs! Try againharder!
No one so much as blinked when Abby pulled out the dodgy note.
Whats that? Abby! Blimey, look at this! Well, you kept that quiet! Girls, Jacks got a thing for Abby! Leah snatched the note, waving it overhead and dancing around the changing room. Right, whats our plan of action?
Leah, give it back!
Oh, come on, Abs. Actually, you know what? Never mind! Jack! Jack! Leah dashed to the boys changing room, banging on the door.
Abby paled.
The only ones who knew about her fancy for Jack were her diary and her mum.
Mum, is it bad?
Why would it be?
Because its too soon…
Is there ever a wrong time for love, Abby?
Is this love?
I think its a crush for nowa lovely flutter, really. A thrill before love.
Hows that different?
Like standing at a door, peeking in to see whats beyondhappiness, pain, excitement, even heartbreak. Love can be that powerful. People crave it.
Why?
Maybe because we humans run from loneliness, searching for someone who really sees us, who takes our hand. Its a hard thing to find, Abby, and even harder to trust another person when you finally do. But even just standing at the edge is magical. Thats what a crush isa taste of what might be. And you know what?
What?
Theres nothing more wonderful, except maybe the day you were born.
So its good?
Absolutely. If you use your head as well as your heart, that is.
Abby hugged her secret close, happy in its glow.
Now, thanks to Leahs stunt, everyone would know.
Leah saw it in a heartbeathow Abby folded up the note quickly, how she glanced at the changing room door, wondering when Jack could have slipped her a message, when, in fact, hed been playing volleyball with her, right there.
The boys poured out of their changing room, laughing as Leah waved the note, and Abby shrank into a corner, mortified.
Whats going on here?
Mrs Dawson materialised, and the class immediately quieted down. Her knack for appearing at the most inconvenient moments was legendary.
Mrs Dawson, Leah sang, pressing the note to her lips before lifting it in the air. Guess what! Jack and Abbya match made in heaven!
Leah, dont be daft. Whats that in your hand? Mrs Dawson had gone stony faced.
Its a note from Jack! Says he likes Abby!
The titter of laughter that began was quickly nipped in the bud.
Right, enough. Abby?
And suddenly Abby remembered Year 1, Mrs Dawsons steady gaze.
Youve nothing to fear. I know you can do it, Abby!
She stepped forward, her chin high, meeting Mrs Dawsons gazeand her teacher looked kindly, a little worried, almost like her mum.
Leah took my note. I didnt want anyone else to read it.
I see. Jack? Mrs Dawson turned to the boysand everyone was stunned by what happened next.
Yeah, I wrote it! Jack snapped, pushing past his jeering mates, grabbing the note back from Leah. You shouldnt read other peoples letters, Leah!
Youre lying! Leah shrieked, realising her prank had failedno one would laugh at Abby, or pick on her. Shed keep walking tall.
Not realising the only reason Abby walked tall was because she was always scared inside, terrified everyone would judge her if she ever slipped up.
But in that moment, something strange happened. Abbys posture liftednot from fear, but pride.
She almost felt as if she might take off and flysurely not, people cant fly! But why did she feel so light, as though shed float above the ancient wooden floor and forget all her worries?
Leah. Mrs Dawson glared.
I was only joking! Hes making it up Leah whined.
Jack took the note from her and handed it gently to Abby. Its for you. Dont show anyone else what I write, deal? Mrs Dawson, is there an essay today? I havent prepared
At least youre honest! Yes, there ison a very relevant topic. Now get a move onlessons are starting and youre not even changed!
And 7B bundled out, ignoring Leahs scowl, while Abby and Jack exchanged small smiles, Abby clutching the note in her fist.
Shed stick that note into her diary and keep it safe until, years later, shed hand the battered notebook to Jack on their wedding day.
Here you go, husband.
Whats this, wife?
Its our beginning
You trust me enough to read it all?
You know it already.
Not quite everything.
What secrets left? Abby would lean into Jack, ignoring the shouts of Kiss! Kiss! ringing all around.
Remember what you said about a crush? The door?
Yeah
Did you step through?
Abbys eyes would sparkle as she whispered, her voice clear against the laughter and music.
Of course. I even closed the door behind me. Im not just sweet on you, you know.
Jack would raise an eyebrow.
No? Then whats this?
I love you, silly, shed laugh.
And I love you. Now thats the best bit of the joke, isnt it?
Best bit ever, Abby would reply.
And the lesson, as their laughter mingled, would ring outtheres no shame in being kind, in standing tall, or in opening your heart when the time comes. For those who do, life brings its own, unexpected joy.
