Tom and Emily were getting married. The ceremony was in full swing when the master of ceremonies announced it was time for gifts. Emily’s parents were the first to offer their congratulations. Then came Tom’s mother, Barbara Smith, holding a large box wrapped neatly with a pale blue ribbon.
Oh, I do wonder whats inside that? I whispered excitedly to Tom.
No idea. Mums kept it a secret right till the last minute, he replied, sounding puzzled.
We decided to save the gifts for the day after, when all the excitement had settled. I suggested we start with Barbaras box. As I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, both of us peered inside and went completely silent.
Id always noticed this odd little habit in Tom: he never took anything without asking not even the simplest thing.
May I have the last sweet? hed ask quietly, his eyes darting towards the lonely toffee in the jar.
Of course! You dont have to ask, you know, Id say, a bit taken aback.
Its just how I am, hed reply awkwardly, peeling off the wrapper.
It was only after a few months I understood where this restraint had come from.
One afternoon, Tom suggested I meet his parents Barbara and David. At first, his mother seemed perfectly welcoming. But that impression slipped away soon enough, when Barbara invited us to the dining table.
She served up just two plates, each with a couple of spoonfuls of mash and a single, very small pork chop. Tom finished quickly and, leaning forward, quietly asked if he might have a bit more.
You eat like a horse! We’ll never be able to keep you fed! Barbara exclaimed, her face twisted in distaste.
When David asked for seconds, his wife was more than happy to oblige. I finished my plate in silence, stunned by Barbaras obvious coldness towards her own son.
As the wedding drew closer, Barbara picked holes in every plan: the wedding bands, the venue, the food.
Why spend so much? Surely we could have found something cheaper! she griped, over and over.
Eventually I snapped.
Please, just let us sort things out! Its our money and our wedding!
Wounded, Barbara stopped calling and even threatened not to come to the wedding at all.
Two days before the big day, David popped over.
Come and give me a hand with the present, he said, ushering Tom towards his car.
He revealed a washing machine, bought without Barbaras knowledge shed apparently thought even that was too extravagant. After that, she all but vanished during the reception.
The next morning, as we lifted the lid on Barbaras box, eager anticipation faded into disappointment.
Towels? I mumbled in disbelief.
And socks, Tom chimed in, holding up a couple of thick pairs. Mum must have just grabbed the first things she saw.
A few days later, Barbara rang, quizzing Tom about what others had given.
What did your in-laws give you? And your friends? she pressed.
Thats none of your business, Tom replied, before hanging up, feeling oddly relieved.
If theres one thing Ive learnt, its that generosity isnt about the cost of a gift its about the respect you show others. Somewhere along the way, Barbara had long forgotten that.
The Mother-in-Law’s Wedding Gift: Sometimes, It’s Better Not to Give Anything at All
