You know, Ive been thinking about Mums love life when I was younger. She was always bringing home new husbands every so oftenwell, I can distinctly remember three of them, if Im honest. But none ever stuck around for long. Theyd leave, and Mum would sob her heart out, hold me close, and say, Dont worry, love, our day will come too. Then shed wipe her eyes and rush off to her job.
The last bloke tried to stick it out for about two weeks, but when Mum stopped buying him booze, he just seemed to lose his spark and walked off with her earrings from her jewellery box. Mum didnt even bother reporting him; just blamed herself for it all.
After that, things went quiet for a good five years. I thought life was finally steadyjust me and Mum living together peacefully. But when I turned fifteen, she fell head over heels again. She talked about this new man, Peter, like he was Prince Charming. Shed gush about how lovely he was, how much he adored her.
To be fair, I was actually happy for her. When Peter came over for the first time, I liked him straight away. He looked about forty, smartly dressed, didnt go mad on the drinkjust had a single measure with dinner. He was witty, chatted about all sorts, and Mum was positively glowing. I went to bed before them, assuming hed still be there in the morning. But I heard the front door go not long after, so hed left.
The next morning, Mum had nothing but praise for him. He works at the council, she said, proper gentleman. Wants to make sure my reputation stays good. He even talked about moving us in with him after the wedding, but said wed stay put until I finished school and did up his flat in the meantime.
I was honestly quite proud of Mum. Shed suddenly become so young and vibrant againit was as if shed finally shaken off the old sadness. She was only thirty-six, but shed given up on herself lately, convinced it would always be just her.
So, Mum and Peter got married right before the new school year started. I was busy studying, prepping for exams. Peter was always asking if I needed a handhe was considerate, always knocked on my door if he needed something. We got on well. At dinner, Id tell him what was bothering me about school, and hed listen with real curiosity.
Mum was absolutely blossoming. Peter spoilt her rottensoon she had new earrings, then a necklace. The year flashed by, the flat was fixed up, and they started prepping to move. Peter asked me if I fancied coming with them; thered be plenty of space. But Id finished school and wanted a bit of independence. I wasnt earning yet, but Peter said not to worry, hed always help out. I applied to the local college, and he promised to put in a good word for me when the time came.
Just before they left, Peter said to me, Pop round and visit us whenever you like, and well stop by here tooyour mum or me. If you ever need anything, just ask, alright? Were family.
For my school graduation, they gave me a beautiful pendant on a chain. I was so taken with it, I couldnt stop admiring myself in the mirror for days. When they picked the present, Mum whispered to Peter, Isnt it a bit too soon for gifts like this? Peter just laughed, Who else will give her something so special if not us? Mum beamedshed truly found herself a wonderful husband.
When they moved out, I started living on my own for the first time. It was lonely at first, so Id pop round to Mums place often. They were always happy to see me. I got used to it soon enough though, and started going less. Sometimes Mum dropped by with groceries or some cash, or wed bump into each other in towneveryone was just so busy all the time.
I settled into college life. I loved being a student. At weekends, Id visit Mum and Peter, share all my latest stories. One visit, they told me Peter was being sent away for work for a yearand, of course, Mum was going with him. They promised to send me money regularly.
I saw them off at the train station. Mum tried to cry, but I laughed it off, Come on, Mum, Im nearly seventeen, practically an adult! I promise Ill behave. We all laughed, hugged, and they boarded the train.
They went miles away. Came back just for New Years to celebrate, brought me heaps of presentsI spent the whole evening unwrapping everything.
Then, after a while, Mum called and said Peters assignment was being extendedat least two more years. Peter would stop by for his things and rent out their flat. She wouldve come too but couldnt get time off work.
I got home from college one day and heard someone rummaging in the room. I peeked in.
Oh, Lucy, hello! Yes, Im just trying to clear a space for my things, Peter said.
He hardly recognised meId changed so much in the year theyd been away. I looked more grown-up, started using a bit of makeup, felt more confident.
Ill get changed and whip up some dinner, I said. Peter glanced my way in the mirror as I left to changehe seemed rattled. We ate, caught up on life. I made up the bed for him in their old room, then went into mine. I heard him going to the shower, then to the kitchen. But he was restless. I could tell he was haunted by somethingcaught off guard by my reflection.
I turned a page in my book, and suddenly Peter appeared at my door, wearing only a towel.
Did you need something?
Three days later, Peter was gone. Relief washed over me and I tried hard to forget what happened. But after just three months, he was back at the flat and it happened again, the thing I was terrified even to think about.
Peter left, and I was left with a feeling of shame and filth. Then it hit methings were so much worse now. I was pregnant.
I tried ringing Peter several times. He kept saying hed call back. Finally, he did.
So, did you miss me this much you decided to call yourself?
Im pregnant, I said.
Bloody hell! How did that happen?
Just what he needed before a big promotionnow he could end up with a prison sentence instead.
Lucy, Ill send you some money! Do whatever you have to, but dont let it become a problem. Not one word to anyone.
I was at my wits end. What should I do? Disgrace. I’d get kicked out of college, everyone would stare at me, and if it came out who the father was, itd ruin our whole family. Mum couldnt cope with that.
A week later, Peter showed up with cash and an address. He had a cottage, about two hundred miles away. He told me to go there, because I couldnt have an abortion without my parents signing off, and the police would get involved.
Hide out there for now. Better yet, find a local grannythere are plenty round there. Pay her, and shell sort you out.
I was completely petrified. Peter hugged me. You understandnobody must ever know. It wont help anyonenot you, not me, not your mum.
He left the next dayMum didnt know where hed gone. A week later, I left too.
I arrived at this tiny, forgotten village, barely found the cottage. Once Id settled in, I started searching for one of those local grannies. Some old woman without teeth pointed me to a house near the woods. Summoning all my courage, I went.
The old lady greeted me coldly. What do you want, sinful girl?
I broke down in tears, absolutely terrified. She softened a little, even gave me water.
Please, can you ?
No, love, say it properlyyou want this granny to help you get rid of your own child with your own hands …
I stared at her, horrified. No …
Well, thats what you came for.
I bolted out, her cruel laughter ringing in my ears.
What was I to do? Alone, frightened, in the middle of nowhere.
Then there was Andrew. Hed come back to this village after serving timemanslaughter, of all things. Hed been walking home from the gym, heard a girl crying for help in an alley. Two thugs were attacking hershe was just sixteen! In rage, Andrew knocked them down; one smashed his head on the pavement. Turns out, he was the spoiled son of an important bloke, and Andrew got the full punishment.
Years ago, Andrews nan had lived in this villagehed spent much time here as a kid. After prison, he wanted peace and quiet, so he moved into nans old house on the edge of the village, started a small farm, did his garden. Customers soon flocked to him for fresh produce, meat, cheese. With everyone obsessed with organic foods these days, he made good money, fixed up the house, even got himself a boat for fishing. He saved up, hoping to buy a proper car that could handle country roads and mud.
Andrew loved fishing at dawn. The river curved nearby, and the fish loved the gentle current. Hed check his netsyeah, naughty, he poached a bitthen sit with his rod for the pleasure of it, releasing the small fry, keeping only live fish for picky customers.
That morning, as he watched the golden sunrise, he saw a figure block the sunlightsome girl walking along the hill, baby in arms, heading for the edge. Andrew realised what she meant to do and dived straight into the river.
He reached the place just as the waves closed over the baby. Instantly, he dove under and grabbed the child.
Lucy let go and stepped back. She thought she was freeready to go back to her old life.
Then, she heard her little one cry. My God, what have I done? Lucy tore off her jacket and boots and jumped off the edge herselfshed save her daughter, no matter what.
Andrew was wrapping the baby in his coat on the boat when he heard the splash. Lucy was in the water, frantic, diving and re-divingpanicked out of her mind. Shed tire soon and sink. He checked the babybreathing, thank goodnessthen dived in after Lucy, waited till her panic wore her out, then pulled her to the boat. She fought, grabbed at him, so he had to knock her outotherwise, neither would survive.
He dragged both ashore, carried Lucy over his shoulder, baby strapped on top, and prayed she wouldnt wake before he made it home. He just managed.
He put Lucy in bed and sorted out the baby, who could only have been hours oldeven her cord wasnt tied off yet. Luckily, Andrew remembered his old medical training. If not for that terrible fight, hed have been a doctor by now.
He sterilised bottles, found an old lambs teat in the pantry. The baby drank a bit and dozed off. His own new bedsheet became her nappy.
Now, Lucy still hadnt woken up. Andrew worriedhad he gone too far? He undressed her, got her cosy, and propped her up with a pillow. Finally, smelling salts. She groaned, opened her eyes.
Who are you?
Im Andrew.
She was silent, then remembered something: I need to
She tried to get up, but collapsed. He tucked her in again, produced the baby, gave her another whiff of the strong stuff, and she was instantly alert, gazing at her child. Her tears spilled over.
Give her to me, why do you have her?
Andrew didnt get it at first, but then bristleddid she think hed take her baby? Carefully, he laid the baby next to her mum and left the room. Lucy looked at her daughterso lovely, so tiny. How could she, how could she What if Andrew hadnt saved her? The horror of it overwhelmed her.
Andrew came back. Lucy whispered, Im so sorry … I was out of my mind …
Andrew sighedthank God shed come round. What a nightmare.
Whose girl are you then?
Im not from around here, never been here before. Never thought Id end up …
Dont worry, you can stay as long as you like. Itll be nice having some companygets lonely out here.
Thank you. Can I stay? Lucy asked, voice trembling.
Of course, he grinned. Actually, Ill pop into town and get you all the baby stuff you need.
Ive got moneythey gave me some Lucy faltered, and Andrew sensed someone had sent her away hoping shed come back childlessor not at all.
She explained which house shed stayed in, where the cash and documents were.
Andrew got his motorbike, fetched her thingsa fair trek, and when he saw Lucys birth date, it hit him: she wasnt even eighteen yet. No wonder shed been quietly shipped off.
He headed for town (well, the locals called it the city but really, it was a village with shops) and bought everything he thought a newborn and new mum needed. The chemist packed up a bundle of bits for Lucys recovery and congratulated him on fatherhood. He grimaced a smile.
The shopping filled up his giant rucksack, and he got some clothes for Lucy, toonothing fit for purpose at the house. A dressing gown, some leggings, a couple of T-shirts.
When he got home, he walked in and pausedLucy sat up in bed nursing the baby, who suckled so loudly her little lips were covered in milk. Lucy blushed when she saw him.
Andrew turned away, busying himself with unpacking. He heard her stirring and called, Is it alright to come in? She nodded, looking tiny and apprehensive.
He gave her the clothes, put the chemist bag beside hershe peeked in and went bright red.
Pop something on, so you dont jump out of your skin every time I come in. Now rest up. Im off to the atticI swear theres a Moses basket up there.
Lucy dressed, made the bed. Her head was spinningprobably from hunger. She realised she hadnt eaten for ages, too scared to go to the shops in case someone noticed her bump.
Andrew soon returned with a cradleone of those old-fashioned ones you see in vintage films, that swings from the ceiling for rocking babies. He looked at it, then carried it outside to fix it upLucy heard tools whirring. Next thing, hed made it stand on lions paw legs from an old drawer unit. Sanded it downit looked lovely. He set it up, gently, while Lucy and the baby slept. Then he headed to the kitchen, boiling up some plain food for her, frying up a bit of meat for himself.
Lucy woke from a dream about food and realised she was ravenous. She changed the baby and fed hersuch a healthy appetite!
Andrew popped in, You hungry? Ive made dinner. Or I can bring it to you?
Ill come out. She tried to find slippers but went barefootso cold. Andrew handed her his own giant slippers.
Put these on, its still chilly on those floorboards even in spring.
He served her simple foodboiled meat, a boiled egg, bread, tea.
Not sure what I should feed you, since youre nursing. Well start slowly, Andrew said, but Lucy was barely listeningthe food was so good.
After dinner, Andrew tried to talk about what came next, but she was nodding off.
Go on, get some sleep.
But youwhere will you sleep? Ive taken your bed.
Ill kip on the sofa. Tomorrow well sort out a proper cot for your little princess. Today, lets just recover.
Lucy thought she fell asleep before her head hit the pillow. She hadnt slept so peacefully in ages.
The next morning, they got busy. Andrew found an old pillow and made a mattress for the cot, Lucy made up the bedding and set her babyOlesia, shed decided on the spotsafe and snug inside.
They did laundry together, Andrew rigged up curtains to make Lucy her own little corner. Then he asked, Hows your head?
It aches a bit …
Sorry, that was my faultyou fought me off so hard. Could have drowned us both. Lucy managed a grateful smile.
Thanksif it wasnt for you …
Lucy, you know we cant go on like this forever. Your baby needs registering. We need to think about whats next.
Ive no idea how … She burst into tears.
Sit down, tell me everything. We’ll work something out.
So Lucy started to tell the whole story. About not being able to go backsuch shame. About not being able to look her mum in the eye. About her stepdad forcing her, then about giving up fighting. About the old lady in the woods, having to deliver her own child, trying to abandon her baby, then realising she couldnt live without her … and jumping in after her.
Andrew just listened, quietly. The poor girl had been through hell.
First things first, he needed to sort out the baby’s papers. One of Andrews old customersa council bigwighad promised to help out after Andrew saved his life on a drunken fishing trip. That bloke brought along a woman from the registry office to do the paperwork for the baby. She started filling it out, but when she saw Lucy’s passport, she beckoned Andrew outside. He came back, troubled.
Andrew, your runaway isn’t eighteen yet.
I forgot, sorry. What now?
Well, itll have to go through the police, if were not careful.
A solution popped upthe registry woman said, We could marry you two, list Andrew as the father, then you can divorce later if you want. That makes things easier legally.
Andrew looked at Lucy. What do you think? Fancy marrying me?”
Lucy smiled shyly, Were causing you so much trouble …
That night, Lucy and Andrew celebrated their weddingAndrew even poured her a sip of wine, after she fed Olesia.
You ought to ring your mum, Lucy. Shell be worrying herself sick.
I know, I should.
Go on.
What will I say?
Tell her you got married, had a baby, and youll visit when you can.
Lucy took a breath and agreed.
Mum? Hi. Its me.
Silence. Then a burst of tears: Lucy, darling, where are you?
Mum, dont worry. Im fine, honestly. Sorry I didnt call soonerI couldnt. Im far away, got married, and youre a grandma now. When were settled, well come and see you.
Oh Lucy, love, what are you talking about? Where are you? Give me your address! Peter and I will come at once.
No Mum, dont. Ill come to you when its the right time …
She hung up. That was itfor now, she could breathe easy. Andrew didnt seem keen on sending them away, said life was livelier with them around anyway.
A couple of weeks later, Andrew headed out for a fishing tripfirst time he’d had a chance in ages. Life was bustling; yesterday a health visitor called, said Olesia looked just like him. Lucy blushed, Andrew grinned.
Lucy decided to blitz the house while Andrew was gone. It was spotless really, but definitely a bachelors home. Shed never seen so many socks in one place! Shed have words about that.
Looking out the window, she saw Andrew coming backher own provider. Lucy smiled, thinking how lucky she was.
A year passed, and at last they were ready to visit Lucys mum. She was buzzing with nerves, Andrew hugged her tight. Shed told him ages ago how she really felt, and Andrewwell, hed been open about his feelings all along. They were properly husband and wife now, through thick and thin.
Pulling into her mums driveway, she spotted her mum waiting, looking out for every carbut hardly expecting her daughter to pull up in a Land Rover from the countryside. Andrew helped Lucy out, lifted up Olesia.
Mum?
Her mum turned around.
Lucy …
They hugged for ages.
Oh, Peter was so upset not to see youhe’s just been called away for urgent business, doesnt even know how long he’ll be gone.
Lucy and Andrew exchanged a glance. She prayed her stepdad wasnt homedidnt want a confrontation. She just wanted her mum to know her granddaughter. No more painful truths, not now.
Mum, we can only stay a day or twoso much to do back home …Mum barely let go the whole time, fussing over Olesia, pressing both of their hands as if she could draw all this new happiness into herself. Over tea and biscuits, Andrew told stories about the countryside; Mum laughed at his jokes, wiped her eyes a few times, and said shed never seen Lucy look so alive, so grown-up. The afternoon turned gold through the kitchen window, familiar but changed, and Lucy realized how much shed missed her mum, how much she was ready to claim her own patch of life.
After dinner, Mum hugged Lucy tight. Im so proud, darling. Youre braver than I ever was. Lucy smiled, finally daring to believe it. She leaned against Andrew as Olesia drifted off in her grandmothers arms, safe and loved. The pain and secrets were still there, edged around the room, but softened now by the laughter, the touch, and the promise of tomorrow.
When they left the next morning, the air was bright and clear. Mum waved from the porch, her hands outstretched; Lucy waved back, with Andrew and Olesia at her side. Driving away, Lucy looked back at the shrinking house, at the woman on the steps, and knew the hard chapters were behind them. There would always be roads to travel, but some doors, once closed, were better left shut.
Lucy reached over, ran her hand through Olesias soft hair, and met Andrews steady glance. The miles ahead gleamed with possibilityno more hiding, no more shame, only new beginnings. Sometimes, the world asks everything of you before it gives anything back. But as the village faded in the rearview mirror and sunlight danced across the fields, Lucy knew: she had found home, and this time, it would last.
