So, Im 23 and basically starting all over again. I studied environmental engineering, but honestly, that was just because my dad wanted it for me. When I finished school, what I really wanted was to go into fashion design. Ive been drawing since I was little, always fixing up my own clothes, sewing things by hand. But in our family, that was never even up for discussion. I remember one night, my dad was so firm at the dinner table and just said, Thats not a proper career. You need to pick something that will actually get you a job.
So I ended up going into environmental engineering with those words stuck in my mind. The first term was roughI didnt understand much and felt like I just didnt fit at all. Any time I thought about quitting and going after something else, my dad would pipe up with, Youve started now. Youve got to finish it. Do whatever you want after, but get to graduation first.
And so I stuck with it, mostly because I was scared to let him down, relying on him financially, and there was just no way I could afford a second degree on my own.
Years went by. Did my internship, finished my dissertation and graduated. On my graduation day, my dad was over the moontaking photos, hugging everyone, the works. I smiled too, but truthfully, I just felt empty. A few months back, I started working in the field Id trained for, and its a good job, but I never really feel like I belong there.
Instead, Id come home, take off my work gear and dive straight back into drawing. I spent hours poring over fabrics, sketching outfits, eyeing collections online. I started altering old clothes, sewing things for my girlfriends, mending bits and bobs. One evening, my mum sat me down and just said, Youre not happy with this, are you?
I didnt say anything then, but deep down, I knew she was spot on.
It all blew up with my dad when I told him I wanted to study fashion design. He was really upset and said, After everything Ive put into this? Youre just going to throw away a proper profession? This is just a whim! I told him I wasnt quitting my job and I wouldnt expect him to pay for anything. The conversation was, well, tense. We barely spoke properly for weeks on end.
But in spite of it all, I enrolled anyway. I sorted out my timetable, got my materials together, reworked my daily routine. Managed to find a part-time job, too. Now Im working in the mornings and studying in the afternoons and evenings. There are days when I get home shattered, my back aching, sewing into the night. There are weeks where I have to literally count every penny just to get by.
At uni, Im that girl who started latethe one who already has a degree, the one whos a beginner all over again. But, for the first time, I dont feel embarrassed about it. Im finally doing what actually matters to me. I can spend hours in the studio and not even notice time passing. I wake up feeling… just different, honestly.
My dad still hasnt come round. Sometimes hell say he hopes Im not making a serious mistake. I dont argue with him. I just keep going.
I honestly cant say if this path will ever be perfect, or if itll get any easier but what do you reckon? Did I make the right call?
