The New Owner of the Cottage
Were going to live at your cottage all summer, my brother declared.
I was so stunned I couldn’t even speak. Oh no! Id had more than enough of these uninvited guestsit was high time I put my foot down.
***
The moment I lifted the bags of seedlings out of my car boot, that familiar sense of calm washed over me. My own little oasis of green, my half-acre of pure quiet. But something wasnt right. Garish pop music floated over the hedge, and on the gate… I froze. The lock had been wrenched out entirely.
Whats going on here? I muttered, pushing the gate open.
What I saw looked straight out of a gardeners horror film. Sarah, my brothers wife and unofficial queen of borrowing other peoples sunbeds, had made herself comfortable in my hammock. She clutched my wine glassfilled with something suspiciously pinkin one hand, her phone in the other. She was wearing my bathrobe, the plush one my colleague had given me for my forty-fifth birthday. Meanwhile, something was sizzling and smoking on my barbecue.
Ben! My voice rang so loudly the apple blossom trembled and fell from the tree.
My brother appeared from behind the cottage, wielding my gardening shears. His Id Rather Be Drinking Ale T-shirt strained across his stomach.
Oh, Ellie! He beamed, as if nothing was amiss with breaking into someones house. We thought wed surprise you!
You broke the lock? I set my seedlings on the ground with deliberate care.
It wasnt broken exactly, Ben said, scratching his head. It just came loose… on its own.
Suddenly, a blur in orange shorts darted from the bushes.
Aunt Ellie! Have you got a net? Were hoping to catch lizards tonight!
I squinted. Was that Sam, the older nephew? Or Jack? Honestly, I could never tell them apart.
You… broke… into… my… home? Each word came out clipped and coldthe kind they teach you at anger management classes.
Oh, Ellie, youre here! Sarah finally managed to roll out of the hammock.
The robe fell open, revealing her tanned legs.
We decided to breathe some life into the place for you!
Sarah, thats my bathrobe, I hissed through clenched teeth.
Its so soft! she purred, stroking the lapel like it was mink. Such a shame for it just to hang there!
From inside came a crash and shrieks through the open window.
My nephews are destroying my books, arent they? The sound was unmistakable.
My Agatha Christie collectionmy cottage reading staplewas flying off the shelves.
They were playing, Ben grimaced. Built a whole fortress from them. Really quite symbolic, actually.
Symbolic? I raised my eyebrows. You know whats even more symbolic? That I told you not to come here without me. Especially after you set fire to my settee last time!
The candle fell during our romantic evening! Ben protested immediately. Besides, that was last year. Weve grown since then!
Oh yes, Sarah nodded gravely. Im into psychology now. You know what I see? Your issues with Ben are echoes of childhood trauma!
I shut my eyes and counted to ten. It didnt help. I made it to twenty.
Pack up and leave, I managed, as calmly as possible. Now.
But weve only just arrived! Ben cried. And the meat
Leave the meat. Take yourselves. I turned towards the car. And make sure none of my silver forks accidentally ended up in your luggage.
We dont need your forks! Ben yelled after me. Theyre barely real silver!
I slumped into the drivers seat, hands shaking with fury.
***
When the guests were finally gone, I poured myself a strong cup of tea and opened a chocolate bartears and all.
Seven years of scraping and saving every penny, working myself into the ground to finally buy this cottage: my dream. Id planted hydrangeas, drank coffee from Grandmas old china, pottered in the garden. Most important of allthis was my place. Not oursnot an ours with Luke, my ex-husband. Not a family retreat. Mine. Full stop.
My thoughts were interrupted by a call from Mum.
Ellie, darling, came the voice of Helen, chief peacemaker with a degree in Anything for the Kids and a doctorate in Mustn’t Quarrel. Why have you and Ben fallen out again?
I sighed deeply.
Mum, they broke into my house.
Oh, must you put it like that? Maybe the lock wasnt fitted properly.
Mum I resisted the urge to bang my head on the table, the entire latch was torn off.
Darling, hes your brother Mums tone took on a familiar note of reproach. Hes had a rough time Whats the harm? Ben is your only true soulmate in this world!
If hes my soulmate, Im definitely agnostic, I grumbled. They trashed everything. Sarahs strutting about in my bathrobe, the kids are using my books as building blocks. Do they not own Lego at home?
Well, boys will be boys, always mischievous.
Theyre twelve, Mum. Little barbarians!
Mum just sighed.
All right, all right, I see! You dont love your nephews, she added dramatically. Or your brother. Or me. Or anybody.
I set the phone down. Classic Mumwhen shes lost on the facts, she drives home the guilt.
Mum, Im going to bed, I said, exhausted. Work in the morning.
Think it over, Ellie, she cooed. Theyre family. Whats it to you?
I ended the call and let myself sink back into the sofa. One thought cycled through my mind: what would Ben have to do for Mum to finally take my side?
***
But Ben wasnt one to give upstubborn as a mule. The message pinged in: Maybe we could move in for the whole summer? Its such good vibes for Sarah, and the kids love it out there.
I set the phone aside slowly and poured myself a black coffee, nothing sweetto let the bitterness of the situation really sink in.
The whole summer? All summer? Three months?!
At first, I wanted to ring Ben and unleash everything Id bottled up about him, his wife, and their offspring.
Ellie, pull yourself together, I told my reflection in the mirror. Youre a grown woman. You know how to sort problems.
I nodded, grabbed my phone.
Ben, are you serious about spending the whole summer here? I asked when he picked up.
Why not?
His voice sounded so relaxedhe was probably in my sun-lounger. MY sun-lounger!
You dont mind, right? Youre kind-hearted.
Im kind, mate, but Im not a mug, I replied. Its my place.
Well, youre odd, Ben said, amused. Why does it matter? Were basically security.
You did a great job with the roses when Sarah cut them for her friend.
So what? Ben said, genuinely puzzled. Her friend was thrilled.
I inhaled. Exhaled. Counted to ten. Then one hundred. No relief.
Sarah wants to talk! Ben piped up cheerfully.
There was a rustle, then Sarah chirped in with the sickly sweetness of someone selling a vacuum for twice my salary.
Ellie, the boys love the cottagethe fresh airs good for them! Please, be a good auntie!
Sarah, I spoke gently, like explaining to a child why sand isnt food, this is my private property. Youre here without permission. If youd asked, maybe Id have let you come.
Well, there you go! If youd have let us, its all fine.
Thats when I realised: trying to reason with this woman was utterly pointless.
Fine, I said, pretending to sound calm. Enjoy yourselves.
Ellie, are you upset? Ben sounded suddenly concerned as he popped back on the line.
No, I said with a smilethank goodness he couldnt see it. Im off to fix this.
***
The estate agents office smelt of coffee and despair. Despair was mainly coming from me. Coffee from the well-groomed lady behind the desk, who was swiping through photos of my cottage on her tablet.
Youre really sure you want to sell? she asked, peering over her glasses. These properties are in high demand right now.
Absolutely, I nodded with such energy my neck cracked. The sooner, the better.
She raised an eyebrow.
In a hurry?
Just ditching some excess baggage, I smiled weakly. Ive got new goals in life.
Like kicking your brother out for good, I added silently.
Its a cracking spot, she said, running a finger over the screen. I reckon I already know someone whod jump at it.
I sighed in reliefthings were finally falling into place
***
The prospective buyer was exactly the type Id hoped for: Alan Thompson. A distinguished gent in his early fifties, bald head gleaming like a snooker ball, and eyes that could chill the tropics. He studied the photos, asked three spot-on questions, and nodded.
Ill take it.
Dont you want to see it in person? I asked, surprised.
I trust the photos, he shrugged, and your honesty.
At this, I faltered a little.
You see my relatives turn up from time to time.
Is it a problem? His gaze never shifted.
Not legally, I shook my head. Just might be a bit awkward.
Makes no odds to me, he said. I’m buying property, not family. When can we sign?
We settled on the coming Saturdaythe very same day Ben was planning a massive picnic with all the neighbours.
He never told me himself, of courseI heard it from Mum. Probably planning another impromptu surprise by breaking in again.
All right, Ben, lets see who surprises whom this time!
***
When we pulled up, the cottage grounds hummed like a wasps nest. Neighbours cars parked everywhere, an inflatable pool on the lawn, music blaring, barbecue smoke, kids screechingan absolute riot.
Is it always like this? Alan asked, breezing out of his black Range Rover.
Only when my brother arrives, I sighed.
We passed through the gate, and the first to spot us was Sarah, emerging from behind the house with an enormous bowl of salad.
Ellie! she cried. We werent expecting you at all!
Plans changed, I smiled. Let me introduce Alan Thompson. And Victor Green, solicitor.
So pleased to meet you! Sarah grinned, all teeth. Are you friends of Ellies, or something more? She winked meaningfully.
Im the new owner of this cottage, Alan replied, cool as December.
Sarah froze mid-salad.
What do you mean, owner?
Just that, the solicitor said. Miss Harper here has sold the house to Mr. Thompson. All the documents are here.
He patted the folder in his hand.
But But Sarah turned pale. Ben!
My brother appeared from behind the grillMY grillapron on, skewer in hand, king of his little world.
Ellie! Ben cheered. We thought youd given up on us!
I might have, if Id known I could, I muttered.
Ben, Ellies sold the cottage! Sarah blurted.
Ben froze, skewer hanging in mid-air.
What?
Ive sold the cottage, I confirmed, slow and clear. Alan is the new owner. The solicitors here to make it official.
I braced myself for tantrums, yelling, blame. Instead, Ben quietly lowered his skewer and asked,
Why?
That caught me off guard.
Because you moved in without permission. Because you assume everything I own is yours by default. Because you never respect boundaries. Im done! Its easier to get rid of the cottage than keep fighting you for it.
So what happens now? Ben asked, eyes downcast.
Now you pack up and leave, Alan cut in. Today. Right now. This is private property.
But we were going to spend the whole summer here! Sarah protested. Weve even brought a tent!
Take it with you, the new owner replied. I dont care for visitors.
Ben ripped off his apron and flung it into the grass.
Its been a right trap anyway! Dragging ourselves here, weeding bloody flowerbeds Normal people go to Spain, not dig up courgettes!
Wonderful, I said. Book a flight.
You you Ben fumbled for a comeback. Youre cruel! This was our familys nest!
Says who? I folded my arms. I saved for it and bought it myself. Your contribution began and ended with Why do you need a cottage?
Sarah gripped Bens arm.
Come on, lets go. It’s clear enough.
Then, turning to me, she hissed,
Youll regret this, Ellie.
Doubt it, I smiled. At least I wont have to watch you trash my garden again.
Just then, the nephews burst from the house, followed by half a dozen neighbours kids.
Aunt Ellie! one of them shoutedJack or SamWeve been bouncing on the sofa like it was a trampoline!
The sofa?! I nearly choked. Have you lost your minds?
Enough, Alan interrupted. Im calling the police. Youve got half an hour to pack up and be gone.
He picked up his phone and dialled. The fear on Ben and Sarahs faces was the finest reward for my years of patience.
***
Ellie, love, are you all right? Mum sat facing me at the kitchen table, worry etched into her face. Any regrets?
None, Mum. Not a bit, I said honestly.
But Bens still upset, she sighed.
Hell get over it, I shrugged. If nothing else, Ben has a gift for justifying himself.
Two months had passed since Id sold the cottage. Ben hadnt called me, and I hadnt called him. Probably the longest silence between us since he figured out how to say, Why is the sky blue? and Where do babies come from?
Hes still your brother, Mum said, but with less conviction than before.
I know, I nodded. And Ill always be his sister. But I dont have to put up with everything he does.
Mum fiddled with her cup, thoughtful.
What will you do with the money from the sale?
I havent decided. Maybe put it away for a rainy day, or go somewhere nice for once, I shrugged. Spending money isnt rocket science.
***
Truthfully, Id already spent itI bought a new cottage, far away from the old haunt. And was now setting up the plot. Besides, I had no plans to tell Mum. Certainly not the address.
Id learned something simple: if youve got something good in your life, therell always be someone who wants to ruin it. But a second time? I wont let them.
