So, you know, I raised three boys myself. Anyone whos lived with four men under one roof will know exactly what Im talking about. I can never quite wrap my head around how its possible not to have a cooked dinner or tea ready at home, or find all sorts of things strewn about the house. Now that Im 52, Ive always held the belief that its a womans job to create a home that feels warm and safe for a man to return to. But Im not so sure my daughter-in-law sees things quite the same way.
My eldest, James, decided to get married two years ago, and nine months later, their little girl was born. He was 28 at the time; his wife, Emily, was just 20 and still at uni. That eight-year age gap never bothered James at all.
When Emily was pregnant, I have to say, her moods were all over the place and she kept sending James off to the shop for random thingsfirst it would be apples in the morning, then oranges, and then flowers later on. James never argued, bless him, and was quick to meet her every request. We just assumed that once the baby came along things would settle, but that didnt really happen.
She had the baby, breastfed for about two months, and that was that. Then she turned to my son and said she was exhausted from the sleepless nights and needed a proper rest. Now, James is a very kind and patient soul, so he asked me if I could come round and help out with the baby. Of course, I couldnt say no.
So while I was looking after their daughter, Emily was out at beauty salons and whatnot all day, and when shed come home, she wouldnt even make dinner for James after he got back from work. In the end, I was looking after their little one for a full week straight. Emily had got used to sleeping in until noon, just living completely at her own pace, and simply left everything to me.
After about a month, I just couldnt do it anymore and told them I needed to go home. Emily wasnt too pleased. I realised shes still not cut out to do things on her own, so from time to time Id go over to check in, but I really didnt like what I sawthe place was in a complete state and the fridge was empty most of the time.
She was simply too lazy to even make something for her own child. After raising three boys, that kind of neglect is just totally beyond me. James always ate home-cooked food growing up. Last month, when it was James birthday, I figured Id pop over and honestly thought Emily might cook something nice for the occasion. But no, she just ordered in pizza and some sushi.
I honestly dont get why my James puts up with it or how he ended up with someone like that. I sometimes think maybe its because they never lived together before they got married, so he didnt see what she was really like It cant be easy for him, but he never says a word, just keeps everything bottled up.
I keep trying to think of a way for her to finally step up as a wife and mum, but the only thing that worries me is upsetting my son. I know I should support his choices, but I just cant sit back and watch this all quietly! Are all daughters-in-law like this these days?
What would you do in my shoes? Would you try and talk to her?
