“I’ve Said So Many Horrible Things to You… Oksana Looks at Her Grown-Up Daughter and Finally Understands Why Tanya Turned Away from Her” — “You know, Tanya,” Oksana began, “You’re an adult now. Soon you’ll have your own family. Figure out your own life and let me live mine.” Tanya glared at her mother. — “Don’t expect to see me in your house ever again!” With that, she slammed the door and left. Oksana couldn’t hold back tears. How had a gulf of misunderstanding grown between her and her eldest child when just a few years ago everything was different… * * * Oksana had Tanya at eighteen while studying at agricultural college. Anton, the father, was her first and only love—at least it seemed that way for three years till pregnancy changed everything. Their families supported their wedding and helped them with a rented flat. Oksana’s mother Olga played a crucial role, letting Oksana finish her degree while she minded little Tanya. — “Thank you Mum,” Oksana smiled as she received her diploma. “I could never have finished uni without your help.” — “That’s what mums are for,” Olga replied warmly. Motherhood and student life were exhausting. Anton’s life barely changed; he’d relax in front of the TV and play volleyball or drink with his mates on weekends. After Tanya started nursery, Oksana found work as a greenhouse agronomist. By the time Tanya turned five, Oksana and Anton divorced. — “Mum, I can’t take it anymore,” she sobbed. “I kept hoping Anton would grow up, but he never will. I regret marrying him. Those who warn about marrying young are right.” — “It’ll pass, all things do,” Olga said sternly, “You have what matters: your daughter. You’re only twenty-three—the best is still ahead.” The next ten years were lonely. Attractive, intelligent, but her personal life went nowhere; few men wanted to take on her and her child. Eventually, she gave up on serious relationships…and legal marriage. Her thirty-fifth birthday was a low point. — “Mum, I’m scared,” she admitted. “It feels like life’s passing me by.” — “Where’s my optimistic daughter?” Olga teased, “Maybe this is the start of a new life?” Oksana shrugged, but she didn’t yet know how right her mum was. * * * Dmitry crashed into her life—literally—by backing into her car at the shops. — “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for everything,” Dima insisted. “I’ll arrange the repairs myself.” Reserved Oksana was convinced by his charm and courtesy. Soon love blossomed, and two months of whirlwind romance later, she revealed she had a grown-up daughter. Dima took it in stride—then revealed he was ten years younger than her! — “You’re twenty-five? But you seem older!” — “And you seem younger. Age is only a number. I love you and want you to be my wife,” Dima replied. Oksana worried how her parents—and Tanya—would react, but her parents said, “Follow your heart, we’re always on your side.” Tanya was unimpressed. — “You might as well have hooked up with a schoolmate of mine! Are you really going to wear a white wedding dress at your age?” Stung, Oksana’s mum reprimanded her granddaughter: “Think about what you say and to whom.” — “Whatever,” Tanya grumbled, “I’m off to uni in eight months anyway.” Oksana worried over her daughter’s attitude. — “She’s grown selfish because you let her,” Olga said. “She’ll get over it. You deserve happiness, no matter who he is or how old.” Soon it was clear Tanya was plotting to wreck her mum’s relationship. * * * Dima moved in. The next six months were tough: Dima’s parents didn’t approve, though they hid it. At home, Tanya became rude and provocative, especially to Dima. — “Are you just punishing me?” Oksana challenged her. “You’ll be gone soon, starting your own life. Why do you think you can ruin my chances for happiness?” — “He’s younger than you—it’s weird! Find someone your age.” — “I didn’t know Dima was younger. And now…I don’t regret it.” — “Please, Tanya, I love you—you’re my daughter. But Dima means a lot to me. Please accept him, for my sake.” Tanya mellowed slightly after being accepted to university in another city. But when Oksana found out she was pregnant with Dima’s child, Tanya exploded and left for uni, hurling insults at her mother’s new family. — “Don’t stress, Oksana,” Dima comforted her. “Tanya just needs time—she’s not used to sharing you.” But things were worse than expected. Oksana and Dima married, and soon welcomed baby Pasha. Dima became a devoted husband and father, supporting Tanya through university too. Oksana should have been happy, except for her broken relationship with Tanya. Tanya kept her distance, rarely speaking, making her visits to grandparents’ house—not Oksana’s. She ignored little Pasha. Two years passed this way. * * * One Saturday morning Oksana heard the front door quietly open. Dima and Pasha were still asleep. She found Tanya slumped on the floor, sobbing. — “Tanya! Aren’t you meant to be at uni? What’s happened?” — “Mum, forgive me. I’m so stupid. There’s no one else…I’m pregnant, four months now…wanted an abortion, but it’s too late. The father wants nothing to do with us. What am I going to do alone with a baby?” Tanya sobbed uncontrollably. Dima appeared, sleepy and confused. Oksana hugged her daughter tightly. — “Don’t cry, darling. I’m here. We’ll manage together.” — “I’ve been so cruel to you! And to Dima, and to Pasha. I see now you’re all I have.” Oksana wept too—mother and daughter cried together on the corridor floor. — “Alright, girls,” said Dima, “I don’t want to interrupt, but you’ll flood the neighbours downstairs with these tears. Off to the bathroom to wash your faces and then let’s have breakfast—otherwise, you’ll scare little Pasha.” Mother and daughter exchanged glances, then headed to the bathroom. Oksana looked gratefully at her husband. Dima understood her without words, and Tanya felt deeply thankful for the second chance. She realised now how wrong she’d been about them both—and how glad she was that, at last, everything could be put right!

I said so many horrible things

I stared at my grown-up daughter, realising why Emily had been treating me this way for months now.

You know, Emily, I said quietly, trying to keep calm, Youre an adult now. Youll have a family of your own soon. Its time for you to manage your life, and let me build mine.

Emily shot me a venomous look. You wont see me set foot in this house ever again! she spat, slamming the front door behind her as she stormed out. I sat down at the kitchen table, tears streaming down my face, hurt beyond words. How had it gone so wrong between me and my eldest? Only a few years ago, things were so different

* * *

I had Emily at eighteen, while studying at Reading University. Her father, Mark, was my first real loveat least at the time it felt like he would be the one forever. Wed been together for three years and inseparable. The pregnancy wasnt planned, but ending it never crossed our minds.

We married young, and both sets of parents were supportive. They even helped pay for our rented flat so we could start our family together.

My mum, Linda, was invaluableshe babysat while I continued my studies, managing lectures on a special timetable. Three times a week, Id leave Emily with her and dash off to university. When I graduated, Id handed Mum my degree with a grateful smile. I really couldnt have done it without you and your help with Emily.

Thats what mums are for, she said gently, looking at her daughter and granddaughter with pride.

Those years were exhausting. Emily was a fussy baby and slept terribly. I was constantly shattered, trying to be a diligent student, a decent wife, and a caring mum all at once.

Marks life changed little after Emily was born. Hed come home from work and head straight for the sofa and telly. Weekends, hed disappear to play rugby with his mateswhich typically ended up as a pub crawl.

Eventually, I got Emily into a nursery and started working as a horticulturist at a greenhouse in Oxford. When Emily turned five, Mark and I divorced.

Mum, I cant take it anymore, Id sobbed to Linda. I kept hoping Mark would grow up, but Hes impossible. I never thought Id say this, but I really regret marrying him. All those right who said marrying young leads nowhere were spot on.

Mum looked at me sternly, Itll pass, love. Believe me. The most important thing is youve got Emily, and youre only twenty-three. Your whole life is ahead of you.

I lifted my tear-streaked face, not quite believing. I felt empty inside

The next decade was a lonely stretch. I was attractive, fit, cleveryet somehow my own life never seemed to take shape. Men drifted in and out, none willing to shoulder the responsibility for me and my daughter. As soon as they found out about Emily, theyd walk away. After a while, I stopped hoping for serious relationships, much less the thought of marrying again.

My thirty-fifth birthday came and went in a mood of gloom. “Mum, for the first time Im scared,” I admitted. “It feels like life is passing me by. Im just stuck on the sidelines watching it all happen.”

Linda looked at me in surprise. “What happened to your optimism, love? Is my strong, confident daughter really saying this?”

I tried to smile. “Just thinkEmily turns eighteen next year, shell be off to uni. And Ill be alone. Doesnt fill me with joy.”

Or maybe its the start of something new, Mum suggested.

I shrugged. Back then, I had no idea how right Mum would be.

* * *

James crashed into my lifeliterally. He accidentally reversed into my parked car outside Sainsbury’s. He was mortified, peppering me with apologies and begging me not to call the police.

Ill cover it all, promise, James said. Just swap numbersIll get it sorted and have your car back like new by tomorrow evening.

Normally, I was cautious and reserved, but something about James’ charm won me over. I couldnt resist his polite, easy manner.

From that day we started seeing each other. It all moved quicklyI fell head over heels. James was self-assured, a manager at a uPVC windows and doors company, earning well. He showered me with such affection I couldnt help but dive into our relationship.

After two months together, I finally told him about my grown-up daughter. James simply nodded, unconcerned.

And then he dropped his own bombshellhe was ten years younger than me.

Youre twenty-five? I gasped, staring at him. But you look older! If Id known

Good thing you didnt! he grinned. You look ten years younger, I look ten older. Perfect match.

He hugged me and kissed my cheek.

Im not sure, James. I hesitated, nerves getting the better of me. What will people say? What about your family?

Its fine. Age is just a number. I love you, and I want you to be my wife.

I was thrown. I didnt know if my parents or Emily would accept him. My head grasped the ten-year gap, but my heart felt otherwise.

* * *

The next day, I laid it all out for Mum, Dad, and Emily.

Its your choice, darling, Mum reassured me, Follow your heart. Your Dad and I just want you happy.

I gave Mum a grateful look and turned to Emily.

You must be joking! Emily complained. You might as well have dated someone from my class. Youre a grown womanwhat are you thinking? Are you actually planning to wear a white wedding gown, too?

Her words stung; Id never heard her speak to me like that before.

Dont talk to your mother like that, Grandma Linda cut in sharply. Think about who youre speaking to.

Well, whatever, Emily shrugged, heading to the door. Im off to uni soon anyway, do as you please.

The tears threatened again. Why does she treat me like this, Mum? Ive devoted myself to her.

Honestly, youve let Emily get away with too much, Mum replied quietly. Shell calm down. You deserve your bit of happinessdoesnt matter who he is, or how old.

After Mum and Dad left that evening, I sat at the kitchen table for ages. I never suspected that next door, Emily was already plotting to sabotage my chance at happiness.

* * *

Within two weeks, James moved into our rented house. I hadnt felt ready to get marriedso we simply lived together.

The next half-year was incredibly hard. James parents werent thrilled about his choice, either. They never said it outright, but you could feel their disappointment. I could tell, even though wed only met five times.

But the worst was at homeEmily turned into someone I barely recognised. She was rude, hostile, ignored James and spoke to me through gritted teeth.

Emily, I dont understand you! I finally snapped one day. What are you getting revenge for? Youre grown up, leaving soon to start your own life, but youve decided you can deny me happiness? I dont deserve this, especially not from you.

Emily sneered, You just irritate me. Hes younger than youits embarrassing. If youd chosen someone older, maybe Id have been okay.

In some ways I agree, I said. But I didnt know James was younger when it started. And nowI cant regret it.

I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. Emily, I love you. Youre my daughter. But James is important to me and Im asking youplease, for my sakeaccept him.

After that talk, things eased a little. Emily calmed down, mostly because shed got into university and was focused on leaving.

But then my world was upturnedI found out I was expecting James baby. Emily flippedshe hurled insults at me, James, even the baby. Before long shed packed up and left for university.

Please, try not to get upset, James would say, holding me close. Emily will realise shes got it wrongjust give her time. Shes never had to share you and now shes acting out. A year studying away, and shell see sense.

But things were more complicated than we thought.

James and I married. Seven months later our son, Harry, was born. James was a devoted husband, providing for me and Harry, even supporting Emily while she studied away from home. I shouldve felt completely happyif not for my broken bond with Emily.

She still refused to accept reality. We spoke rarely, our chats short, strainedshe didnt want to talk, and nothing helped.

On the few times she visited, shed stay with her grandparents instead, ignoring little Harry altogether. Two years passed like this.

* * *

One quiet Saturday morning, I heard the front door open. I frozeJames and Harry were still asleep.

I slipped out into the hall. Emily was there, crumpled on the floor.

Emily? What are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in lectures? I gasped. Is something wrong?

She burst out crying, sinking lower.

Whats happened, darling?

She sobbed, Mum, Im so sorry Ive been stupid. Ive got nowhere to go. Im four months pregnant I thought about abortion, but I was told its too late now He said he doesnt want the child, that its my problem What am I going to do, Mum? How can I manage alone?

She was inconsolable. James, half-awake, popped his head round from the bedroom, confused by the commotion.

I took a deep breath and pulled her into a hug. Emily, darlingits all right, Im here. Well sort this together.”

Through tears, she whispered, All those nasty things I said to you the way I treated James and Harry I was so wrong. Now I see Ive got no one but you, Granny and Grandpa.

I couldnt hold back my own tears. We sat on the hall floor, both crying.

Then James cleared his throat, Right, ladies, I dont want to interrupt, but youll flood the downstairs neighbours soon at this rate. Both of youup now, wash your faces and lets get some breakfast. Dont scare little Harry.

Emily and I glanced at each other, then did as told. I turned to James with immense gratitude. He understood me without words, and, grinning, headed off to make breakfast. Emily clung to me, thinking to herself, How wrong I was about both of them and thank goodness Ive a chance to set things right.”