How could Emily ever love someone elses children?
For quite some time now, Ive been thinking that perhaps its time for me to remarry. My late wife passed away after a long illness, and looking after the children on my own has been rather a struggle. I often found myself thinking about Emily, although shed never had children of her own and had little experience in that area. My mother-in-law, Vera, kept urging me to consider marrying Alice. Alice was a real homebody, a proper housewife, and mother to two children. Trouble was, she was my ex-girlfriend. Was it really wise to start afresh with an old flame? Still, one day I decided to pay her a visit.
Hello, Adam, Alice greeted me warmly as she ushered her children outside to play and offered me a plate of scones. She asked if I fancied a drink, but I declined. We looked at each other and realised its not affection that brought us together, but necessity.
We both know life hasnt gone the way wed hoped, but we always got on back in the day. Now I muttered.
No, Adam, I dont even want to hear it. If you didnt want me back then, you dont need to want me now, Alice replied firmly. You missed your chance. You should have asked for my hand twenty years ago, when I begged you to choose me. I remember how youd always turn up your nose at me, and Im not about to dredge up the past just for old times sake.
Dont be so hasty, Alice. Perhaps you could reconsider
I made up my mind ages ago. My kids are my whole world now, and I feel safest with them. No offence, but you cant turn back time, and whats done cant be undone.
With that, I left. It seemed I had only one option leftEmily. She was much less complicated than Alice, so I started calling on her, trying to spark something new. Soon enough, the whole village was a-flutter with gossip, and word got back to my mother-in-law.
Adam, why are you seeing Emily? When Alice said no, you just moved on to the next woman in sight? Vera scolded.
Honestly
Shes an empty-headed woman, Adam. Shes not right for you, and nothing good is going to come from this. Emily wasnt made for family life. She has no motherly instincts and will never love your children. If you let her move in here, Ill be offI wont stay a single day with her under the same roof.
And with that, Vera packed her bags and left.
For a short while it almost felt as if things were falling into place, but in truth, the children were frightened of having a new stepmother. Emily admitted herself she wasnt good with children. Shed always dreamt of having some of her own, but not someone elses. Eventually, I realised that nothing would come of it and we parted ways.
Life became terribly dull on my own; weekdays and holidays all felt exactly the same. The neighbours looked at me, the widower, and shook their heads. I was worn out, had lost weight, and my health took a turn for the worse. For a bit of relief, I sent the children to spend the holidays with Vera, while I stayed in the empty house. I even suggested to Vera that she sell up and come and live with us, but she reminded me that sooner or later, Id want to look for another wife.
I dont want to hear another word about marriage. I cant cope, Vera. Well bring up the children togetheron my own, Im simply not managing, I said.
Dont be so certain, Adam. How old are you now, after all?
I wasnt used to being on my own in the house, and the silence felt absolutely uncanny. All night I lay awake, plagued by thoughts that wouldnt let me rest. I kept asking myself what I was supposed to do. Suddenly, I could have sworn I heard footsteps.
Whos there? I called out, startled.
No answer. Which only made it worse. I switched on the light and stepped out onto the porch, but there was nobody there.
Is it my wife, come back to check on me? I wondered, thinking of my late wife.
In the middle of the night, I picked up the phone and rang Vera.
Oh, Adam! What on earth is the matter? Vera asked through a yawn.
I cant stand the silence, Mum. Im coming over tonight.
All right, come along. Ill make up a bed for you in the lounge so you wont disturb the children. You need your restyour hairs gone completely grey with all this worry.
Had I ever imagined Id run to my mother-in-law like a frightened child? Never! My home was so empty without my wife. If only Id known what lay aheadI can hear the birds waking. Loneliness weighs so heavy sometimes. The lesson Ive learned is never to take for granted the warmth and chaos of a familywhen its gone, the emptiness can be relentless.
