You cant fool your heart
Victoria steps into the flats entrance, presses the button for the lift, rides up to the sixth floor, and walks over to the door where she spent all her childhood and teenage years.
By habit, she pulls her keys from her handbag, glances at them, then at the door, and tucks them away again. Instead, she presses the buzzer.
Her mum opens the door.
Why are you ringing? Forgot your keys, did you?
Victoria nods with a bright smile. Hello! How are things?
Hello, love. Her mum moves in for a hug, Victoria gives her a quick peck on the cheek. All fine, come inside.
Victoria hands over the bags of groceries and medicine shes brought and breathes out in relief: her mum seems in a good mood and theres no sign of any lectures coming her way.
Just then, her father appears.
Oh, its you, sweetheart! At last! Are you on your own? We thought youd bring Richard.
Ah, well Victoria realises she hadnt prepared a reason for turning up without her boyfriend. He had things to do.
There wasnt much else she could say.
Last time they visited, her parents had cornered poor Richard about wedding plans so much hed promised to propose very soon, just to get some peace.
Ever since, the two of them barely spoke on the way home, then, once through the door, Richard blew up.
As if I never proposed before! he fumed. I have! Its you holding things up! You cant set a date, so we cant tell anyone.
He acted all wounded. Maybe he truly was upset at her endless dithering.
Victoria hugged him. Youre the best. I love you! she told him. She did love Richardhe was brilliant in many waysbut she never felt he was truly the one. It all looked right, but something was missing. She couldnt explain what, nor what to do about it.
Right then. Wash your hands, settle at the table, tell us your news, said her mum.
And so, the familiar routine played out. Victoria chatted with her parents, they fed her lunch, then she was getting ready to be off when her parents exchanged glances and her mum spoke up.
Tell me, do you love Richard?
Yes, I do.
And has he proposed to you?
He has
He has? And?
I asked for some time Im thinking
Victorias eyes dropped, tracing the tablecloth pattern as if shed never seen it before.
Victoria! Her mum may have clapped her hands, Victoria wasnt sure as she didnt look up. Victoria! Last week your father and I gave poor Richard such a grilling But its actually you stalling! What are you thinking, darling?
I dont know
Sweetheart, I do understand
Victoria looked up, surprised.
Really?
Of course! I worried Id pick the wrong day for my own wedding, that itd rain, somethingd go wrong with the DJ, or someone would fall out over outfits But you know, everything turned out perfectly in the end!
Victoria smiled.
Of course! Her mum couldnt possibly imagine that Victorias worries ran much deeper.
In the end, love, you and Richard fit each other so well. I saw it from the start, so I was delighted when his parents suggested the two of you should meet
WaitVictoria felt like everything slowed down.
What do you mean, suggested?
Exactly that. First, Richard saw a photo of you, he liked you, then you bumped into each other and he won you over.
Interesting! So their meeting wasnt just a coincidence.
Well, sure, we could have introduced you by inviting them over. But thats not very romantic, is it?
On the way home, her mums words kept spinning in Victorias head:
We could have introduced you, but thats not very romantic!
Not as romantic! Not as romantic!
She was cross with her parents at first, but by the time she was home, shed calmed down.
In the end, the fact that she and Richard genuinely liked each other only proved they knew the sort of person shed fall for.
Still, something was missing with Richard. Oh, if only she knew what!
Victoria, youre late! Youve missed everything! Anna, her colleague, is upon her barely a second after she arrives at her desk.
What did I miss? Victoria grins.
Not whatwho. Theres someone new. I just know youll fancy him.
Victoria bursts out laughing.
Me? I bet its you who already likes him! And dont forget, youre a married womanwith two children!
Anna blushes furiously.
Thats it, Victoria! I wont tell you any more, Anna grumbles, turning to her computer.
Victoria switches hers on and gets down to work.
Lunchtime nears.
Well, Im off for lunch. She rises, picking up her bag.
Coming? Victoria turns at the door to Anna, but Anna mutters, No thanks!
Victoria shrugs and heads out.
As she walks down the corridor, she reflects that shes grown a bit snappy of late. Why did she tease Anna like that? It was only a joke, but not a very kind one.
At that moment, a young man ahead comes to a stop and Victoria of course bumps straight into him.
A classic move!
Sorry! he says, although shes the one that walked into him.
Victoria opens her mouth to protest, but changes her mind. Obviously this is the new guyshes never seen him around the office before.
Im Victoria, business analyst, she blurts, not knowing what else to say.
James, software developer.
Nice to meet you.
Likewise.
Then James smiles. At that moment, Victoria knows shes done for. When he first turned, she just found him attractivebut when he smiled her heart gives a jolt, thuds harder. Those dimples! The green-flecked grey eyes lighting up!
The silence drags on.
Im heading for lunch, Victoria blurts the first thing that comes to mind.
Enjoy, James replies, still grinning.
Victoria smiles back and walks on.
She might look perfectly normal to any onlooker, but inside shes forcing herself to keep putting one foot in front of the other, resisting the urge to turn around and follow the new guy back down the corridor.
At lunch, Victoria barely eats. Her mind keeps wandering back to James.
No, this is ridiculous. Love at first sight? Nonsense Sure, hes handsome. That smile those eyes! But its only whats on the outside. For all I know, he could be completely different underneath.
Victoria firmly decides she should just try to be friends with James first.
She heads back to her office. Anna greets her with more news:
No point pining. I found outhes got a girlfriend, so neither of us stands a chance
Victoria sits down.
Right, is all she manages, feeling a hefty dose of disappointment inside.
For the record, Ive got a boyfriend, so I wasnt thinking about the new guy anyway, she adds briskly.
If Anna had replied, theyd probably have argued. Thankfully, Anna stays silent.
Time ticks by.
Victorias parents are still waiting for her to announce a wedding date. Richard is waiting, too. Even his parents look at her with hopeful expectation whenever they meet.
Victoria feels their pressure. They all smile, act pleased, but their eyes plead: When?
I must do something, Victoria thinks, but she cant commit to any actionso she does nothing at all.
Maybe its because shes waiting for James. Yes, theyve become friends. Now she knows all about his personal lifehow hes been with his girlfriend for five years, how those years have been a constant cycle of breaking up and getting back together, and how he still doesnt know if shes the one for him or not
Its uncanny and odd, Victoria thinks. Hes in limbo, just like me.
.
Victoria, have you noticed its nearly summer? Richard asks over breakfast one morning.
Of course! Im so looking forward to it. Summers my favouritedont you remember?
A wave of happiness washes over her, almost like shes grown wings.
I think we should get married in summerin July or August, perhaps. Lovely weather.
And just like that, Richard ruins her mood:
Not the wedding again! Why cant we just carry on as we are?
So, what do you think? Richard presses.
How about autumn instead? Victoria ventures. Its still warm and so beautiful. Summer is peak travel seasoneverywheres hot and expensive.
No, I mean the wedding itself. The honeymoons separate. Neither of us will get time off in summer, so: July or Augustpick one.
He stares at her. Victoria realises she cant dodge the wedding any longer.
August, she says at last.
Brilliant! At last! In two months, were giving notice at the registrars.
For days, Victoria feels disoriented. Richard has boxed her into a corner: its July or Augustno choice.
I have to do something, she tells herself once more. But what? Call off the wedding and leave Richard? But where would she go? Her parents wont take her back; theyve been clear about that. She could move in with a friend. Or maybe save up for her own place.
She wanders off to lunch and, inevitably, bumps into James. They chat a bit and flirt. Then Victoria says:
Im getting married in August, you know. There!
Have you finally made your mind up?
Victoria nods.
Good for you. I still cant figure myself out
Thats all youve got to say? Victoria thinks.
Maybe shes imagined everythingthat James was never interested in her at all. True, they smile, share jokes, others are convinced theres something between them, even though nothing actually is.
Are you coming to the party tonight? James suddenly asks.
What party? Victoria is genuinely surprised.
There was a company email. Some big dayeveryones invited. Ohyes, Ill come.
Forward me the email, will you? I think Ill come along too, Victoria says.
..
Why did I come to this party? Its boring! Victoria thinks.
She scans the roomno sign of James, but she spots some familiar faces from accounts and heads over.
Whys it so quiet tonight? she asks them.
The IT lot made a mess of the invite listsome didnt get one. Its fine, though. Fewer people, more air to breathe.
Right.
Victoria glances round againno sign of James.
So, are you looking for James? Hes not coming, his girlfriend called and he dashed off straight away.
Victoria shrugs.
What makes you think Im waiting for him? Ive got a boyfriend, remember.
She tries to smile sweetly.
The girls move on to another topic and Victoria joins in, but feels disappointed deep inside.
What now? Should I just head home?
She could easily leave, but why let Jamess absence ruin things? No, she decidesnot worth it!
Victoria shakes off the thoughts and joins in. She chats with the accounts girls, then another group, then another.
Everyone moves to a different bar, then another, then end up wandering in the park together in a big group.
People slowly drop off, but Victoria isnt in any rush to go home.
Victoria checks her watch.
Six in the morning! Goodness!
She grabs her phone (still on silent), notes shes missed countless calls from Richard.
Looking up, she realises shes ended up with just the companys managing director, Peter Alex, after a whole nights conversation about books and films.
Now Victoria feels awkward, cheeks burning.
Oh, looks like weve lost track of time, she says at last.
Yes, a bit, Peter Alex smiles. Ill order you a cab.
Soon the cab arrives. Victoria tries to act casual, although, to be fair, nothing actually happened.
That was brilliant, she says. We must do this again some time.
She almost bites her tongue.
Peter Alex laughs. Of course! Very soon.
Victoria blushes again, awkwardly.
And where have you been? Richard demands furiously.
At the party, like I said
Some partyto nearly 8am!
I know, Im sorry, wont happen again
Hmph. Nor should it. Pack your things and go.
Maybe Richard thought Victoria would beg for forgiveness or plead to stay. Who knows, maybe not. Either way, Victoria is stung, packs her things, and leaves for her parents home.
You broke up? How could you?! You were perfect together! Victoria watches her mum throw her hands up to the ceiling and roll her eyes.
Oh, Mum
What, oh Mum? We picked you such a good fiancé, and you
Thats just ityou picked him, Victoria thinks, but says instead:
Will you take me in, or do I need to find a flat?
Of course we willwhat else would we do her parents sigh.
Victoria slumps at her desk at work. Since the party, the charm of James seems to have faded. Suddenly she realises hes not the one for her either.
So who is? And will she ever meet him? Or does she even need to?
Suddenly, her phone rings on her desk.
No doubt its someone from accounts again, she thinks, and snaps into the receiver:
What is it this time?
Er um nothing at all. Victoria, could you pop into my office?
The dial tone signals the call has ended.
Victoria stares at the phone as though its a snake.
Why are you glaring at the poor thing like that? Anna asks.
The question brings Victoria to her senses. She grumbles, stands, and heads for the directors office.
Hi! she greets the secretary, Lucy. Hes asked to see me.
Lucy glances at her in surprise.
You? she asks, reaching for the intercom.
Mr. Alex, Victoria from analysis is here Yes, all right. Lucy shoots her another puzzled look. Go on in, hes expecting you.
Victoria sighs and pushes open the heavy door.
Good morning, Peter, she says, putting some formality between them. You wanted to see me?
Morning. Yes, I did. Victoria, Id like to take you to the cinema.
Victorias eyes widen in astonishment as she stares at him.
Sorry? is all she can manage.
Well, were on first names now, arent we? I want to take you to the cinema. Will you come?
Victoria licks her lips, opens her mouth to refuse, but finds herself saying,
All right.
Brilliant. Ill pick you up after work.
Nodont do that, honestly! Ill go to the café next door and wait for you there, thats easier.
Sure thing, he smiles.
Victoria leaves his office.
All okay? Lucy asks.
All fine, Victoria says, Im not getting the sackyet.
She has to say something. After all, Lucy has dreams of winning Peter Alex for herself, and now look at things.
Soon after, Victoria and Peter meet for their date. And then again, and again
Will you marry me? Peter asks.
Of course, she replies.
Though to herself she thinks: How lucky that James didnt turn up to that party, because otherwise shed have spent the whole time thinking about him and never noticed Peter at all. And how fortunate that Richard was the one to end it, because she could never have done it herself.
