Aunt Ruth, why is the sky blue? Why do the clouds move? Why is grass green, and not red? Why…
Ruth rubbed her temples, gathering her scattered thoughts as five-year-old Samuel tugged on the sleeve of her cardigan. The boy gazed up at her with wide hazel eyes, brimming with pure curiosity and an unshakeable belief that Aunt Ruth had answers to every question in the world.
She glanced at the clock above the kitchen doorway and inwardly groaned three hours left before Peter came home, and her husbands nephew had already left her feeling wrung out. Surely, it was good that the child was keen to learn, always asking questions about everything from hoovers to the movement of the planets. But why was Ruth always the one who had to soak up all this energy? Just because she worked from home, it didnt mean she had to babysit someone elses child, especially one she wasnt even related to by blood.
She allowed herself a brief moment of self-pity, then took a deep breath, turning her attention back to Samuel.
The sky looks blue because sunlight scatters in the atmosphere, she replied. And the clouds move because the wind pushes them.
But where does the wind come from? Samuel shot back immediately.
Forcing a weary smile, Ruth began a simplified explanation about temperature differences and moving air, translating complex science into terms a five-year-old could grasp.
By the time Peters key finally rattled in the lock and his footsteps echoed in the hall, she was utterly exhausted feet aching, her head pounding from all the childish questions and yet-unfinished work. All she wanted was to collapse into bed for a week. But she still had supper to make, a client article to finish, and to wait for Lucy, Peters sister, who had yet to appear to collect her son.
At tea, Peter devoured the shepherds pie, chattering about work, while Ruth merely pushed her food around her plate.
How was your day, love? Peter asked when he noticed her silence.
Didnt manage to get much done, Ruth set down her fork. Samuel kept interrupting questions every minute, always wanting my attention.
Well, children are like that, Peter shrugged, its normal.
Normal? Ruth frowned. Your sister left him here at ten this morning, said shed be back in a couple of hours. Its nearly eight at night. Where is she?
Lucy mustve had something come up, Peter said lightly, carrying on eating. Its no big deal, love. Were family we help each other out when things are hard.
She bit her tongue to avoid saying more in front of Samuel, waiting until hed eaten and run off to watch cartoons. Only then did she look Peter square in the eye.
Peter, its not normal.
Whats not? He looked at her blankly.
All of this! Ruth pushed her chair back. Im not a nanny Ive got work too, my own life. I cant believe youre so laid back about everything your sister does.
Come on, Ruth, Peter grimaced, Lucys doing it all on her own. She needs us to help. Shes family.
Is that so? Ruth gave a tired laugh. This is the third time this week shes dropped Samuel off all day! Just a couple of hours always turns into ten!
Shes got things on, Peter insisted, work, meetings, I dont know
But what about my things? Ruth planted her hands on her hips. My work doesnt count just because I dont commute to an office?
I never said that
But you implied it! Ruths voice tightened. Peter, Im tired, cant you see? I cant go for a walk, I cant relax. I barely get a moment to myself because your nephew is always here! Im expected to entertain him, feed him, answer his endless questions, and then work into the night because I had no peace during the day!
Peter let out an exasperated breath.
Youre overreacting.
Am I? Ruth almost snapped, but steadied her voice, remembering Samuel was still within earshot. Do you see what I look like? Ive been up since six, missed lunch because your nephew demanded all my attention!
Hes just a child, Peter spread his hands, children need attention, thats normal.
Its normal when hes yours! Ruth blurted out. Samuel is your sisters son she should be looking after him, not me!
Ruth, give it a rest, Peter frowned. Lucys on her own. Dont forget, shes my family.
Ruth glared at her husband.
And me? she asked softly. Am I family to you? Does anyone care about me?
Peter drew breath to reply, but just then the doorbell rang. He leapt up with relief, grateful for the interruption.
Ruth sat alone in the kitchen, listening to the flurry in the hall: coats rustling, footsteps, and then Lucys voice rang out.
Sammy, darling, come to Mummy! How were you? Did Auntie Ruth treat you nicely? Did you get enough to eat?
Ruth counted to ten before rising to enter the hallway. Lucy was doing up Samuels coat, smoothing his hair, and planting a quick kiss on his forehead.
Look, Peter, Lucy turned to her brother, Ive got errands again tomorrow, so Ill drop Sammy off early, around nine, alright?
Yes, of course, Peter nodded.
No, Ruth cut in. Its not alright.
Lucy arched her eyebrows in surprise, as if only then noticing Ruth standing there.
What do you mean?
Exactly that, Ruth said, glancing at Peter. If your sister brings Samuel tomorrow, then you can watch him.
Lucys gaze darted between her brother and sister-in-law, before she gave a nervous laugh.
But how would Peter? Hes at work all day youre home
Im working, Ruth interrupted. I work from home, Lucy, not just sit at home. And I have a major meeting with a client tomorrow Ill be out all day.
A meeting? Lucy frowned. But youre a freelancer what meetings do you have?
Ruth bit her lip to curb her annoyance, inhaling deeply.
Meetings, just like anyone else who works, Ruth replied. If you need help, get a babysitter, or put Samuel in nursery.
He hates nursery! Lucy blurted out. He cries all the time and I cant afford a nanny! Dont you get it? Why are you being so cruel?
Im not cruel, Ruth met her sister-in-laws eyes. Im just tired. Tired of being a free babysitter while you do as you please. Tired of missing work and breaking my deadlines because your son needs constant attention. I wont carry on like this.
Peter! Lucy turned to her brother. Did you hear what she said?
Peter looked first at his wife, then at his sister.
At that, Ruth rolled her eyes and withdrew to the bedroom. Shed had enough arguments for one night.
From behind the closed door, she could hear raised voices, Peter mumbling defensively, Lucys sharp tones. Even when the front door banged shut, she didnt re-emerge.
After a few minutes, Peter appeared in the bedroom doorway, a reproachful look in his eyes.
You upset Lucy.
Youve all upset me, Ruth replied from the edge of the bed. But that doesnt seem to bother anyone, does it?
Peter was silent, rubbing his brow, then tentatively asked,
Cant you reconsider? About tomorrow
Ruth shot up from the bed.
No, she said, crisp and cold. Not tomorrow, not next week, not ever. Ive done my bit. Im finished. Let someone else take over Im done.
Peter opened his mouth to object, but Ruth brushed past him, grabbing a blanket and pillow.
Ill sleep in the lounge, she called over her shoulder. I dont want to see you tonight.
That night, Ruth lay on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, listening to the hum of the London night outside the window. Oddly, instead of anger or bitterness, she felt a deep and unfamiliar sense of calm.
…Samuel never visited again. Lucy stopped calling and even ignored Ruth in the street, hastily pulling Samuel away if they crossed paths. Peters mother, Margaret, eyed Ruth reproachfully every time she visited, pursing her lips in disapproval. But Ruth always smiled in return, knowing one thing for certain: at last, she was free.
Lesson learnt standing my ground sometimes means disappointing others, but its the only way to stop people walking all over you. If thats selfish, then selfish I shall be.
