Self-obsessed Egoist
“Boredom”
Albert lounged indolently on the sofa, reclining a little as he stretched for the bowl of crisps and grabbed a generous handful. Without once taking his eyes from the screen, he flicked the remote and the television flickered to life, splashing the sitting room with the bright scenes of some sports showtoned athletes striking their poses, spurred on by relentlessly chipper voices of the commentators whose forced enthusiasm grated on Alberts nerves. He gave a dismissive grunt, as if evaluating the spectacle, then glanced briefly at the clock on the wall. Mary ought to be back from her exercise class in about an hour.
Theyd first met a year ago in a small café not far from her gym.
Mary had come in, a little breathless. She exhaled with relief, grateful for the cool air inside after the sticky London streets outside. Heading to the counter, she ordered a green tea and scanned the room for an empty seat.
Almost at the same moment, Albert entered. He carried a file stuffed with papers and bore the weary look of a man at the tail end of a long day at the office. He strode up to the counter and, without a moments hesitation, ordered a large cheeseburger and chips. Spying a free table not far from the door, he deposited his folder and sat, restlessly awaiting his meal.
Just as Mary received her tea and set off for a table, Albert made an awkward movehe reached into his pocket for his phone, twisting around clumsily. His glass of orange juice tipped, splashing over the rim and leaving a bright stain down the front of Marys T-shirt.
Oh! I am so sorry! Albert sprang to his feet, cheeks immediately flushed scarlet, eyes wide with embarrassment. He fumbled in his pocket for a napkin, hand trembling ever so slightly. Honestly, Im dreadfully sorry here, take this
He held out the napkin, doing his best not to focus on the growing mark. He was visibly unsettled, especially given the presence of someone so attractive.
Its all right, really, Mary smiled back. Its only juice. No harm done.
Her calm tone and warm smile did much to soothe Alberts nerves. He exhaled, his shoulders loosening.
No, really, its mortifying, he persisted, napkin still in hand. Let me at least pay for your next ordermakes it fair.
He sounded not so much obliging as honestly desperate to put things right. He eyed her, plainly hoping shed agree.
Mary raised her eyebrows, a spark of amusement in her expression. She took the napkin and dabbed the juice away.
Well, if you insist… she answered, a touch of playfulness on her lips, Ive had my eye on a small slice of cheesecake for ages.
Perfect! Alberts relief was almost comical, and for a moment, all awkwardness melted into a genuine smile. Im waiting on my burger. After a shift like today, I need something substantial.
I know that feeling, Mary grinned. After classes, tea usually does the job but sometimes you fancy something extra. Ill admit, I was eyeing your burger a bit enviously.
Why not have something to eat yourself? he offered. They do a brilliant almond croissant here. Or theres always the ice cream?
Oh, go on then, Mary tilted her head, yielding graciously. Ice cream. But only because you seem so intent on making it up to me!
Mission accomplished, then, Albert chuckled, feeling at last at ease. By the way, Im Albert.
Mary, she replied, shaking his hand. Very nice to meet you, Albert.
The first months together were easy and bright. Mary never tried to change his ways; shed laugh at his jokesgenuine, rolling laughterand even pinch a slice of pizza, which Albert loved to order at weekends. That mattered to him. He felt, more than perhaps ever before, truly fortunatehed found a beautiful, cheerful girl who seemed to accept him as he was, without pushing for anything different. Those days, Albert often thought how lucky he was to have someone with whom life felt so natural.
Over time, though, a subtle tension crept in. Mary began talking more frequently about living healthily, eagerly sharing new recipes, or suggesting they go for a run together early one morning. Her eyes would light up as she said, Imagine how lovely itll be jogging around the park before the crowds appear! Albert would just smile and wave it offAnother time, well see. He felt little motivation to change and saw no reason to start, but neither did he want to quarrel with Mary over what seemed minor matters.
He rather enjoyed his steady routineoffice job for the security, evenings lost in the world of the telly, weekend trips to their favourite bakery for pastries and hearty meals. It was more than eating; it was a ritual, a small celebration after the usual working week. There was nothing wrong in that, he thought; it suited him.
Why alter anything? As for Marys worries about his health, Albert shrugged them off.
Until the time came when he could no longer ignore them.
Winter came, and the change was hard to miss. Albert found, with mild surprise and some annoyance, that his favourite trousers had grown tight at the waist, and shirts which once fit comfortably now stretched across his stomach. One day, climbing the stairs to the second floor at work, a sudden breathlessness and a strange ache in his chest forced him to pause and catch his breath. That shook him.
That evening, as Albert returned to their flat, Mary noticed at once that he looked worn out. She poured him a glass of water and sat beside him.
Are you all right? she asked, gently squeezing his hand. You look so pale.
Im fine, he brushed her off. Just a long day, thats all.
Youve mentioned breathlessness when you take the stairs. And tonight you barely ate suppervery unlike you!
Albert sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. Yeah, its harder to breathe sometimes. Just tiredness, probably.
Albert, Mary said, her voice gentle but insistent, this isnt the first time. You need to see the doctor. Just a check, to make sure youre fine.
Oh, dont fuss, he replied lightly. Its just age. We arent getting any younger.
This isnt an age thing, she countered. You were always active, and now the stairs exhaust you. Thats not right. Lets book an appointment? Ill come with you if you like.
Albert was silent a moment, staring out the window.
All right, he relented at last. Well see. But dont go worrying.
We just need the facts, Mary said, smiling reassuringly. Then we can fix it.
On Marys urging, Albert made that appointment. The doctor made things plain: Albert had to lose weight, raise his activity levels, and change what he ateimmediately. The doctor described, rather alarmingly, what Alberts future might look like if he didnt act soon, and Albert felt a chill of genuine fear.
Mary, meanwhile, took the doctors advice as a plan of action. She drew up a detailed menu for Albertcounting calories, balancing nutrients, thinking of everything. She found a personal trainer happy to come to the flat, eliminating Alberts biggest excuse. Then she began quietly reorganising the fridge, removing sugary drinks, fatty sauces, and ready meals, replacing them with fresh vegetables, lean meats, and porridge oats.
The first weeks were tough for Albert. He grumbled over breakfast at the sight of porridge made with water. Barely food at all, hed mutter. The exercises seemed impossibly hard, leaving him exhausted, tempted to give up. Sometimes, with self-deprecating humour edged with bitterness, hed say, I always thought fitness was for the young and energetic, not us office types.
But little by little, changes crept in. First his breathing eased; climbing the stairs no longer left him gasping at the top. The heaviness in his legs at the end of the day faded. One evening, catching his reflection, he hardly recognised himselfhis clothes hung better, his face was fresher, his gaze brighter.
Six months of effort, and Albert had lost two stone. The number was more than a point on the scales; he felt it in every movement, every breath. He still loved a comfortable evening at home, but now he joined Mary for morning walks and took real pleasure in unexpected lightness.
Mary helped him choose a new wardrobe, spending weekends shopping together. She considered his build, his colour preferences, consulting a shop assistant for advice. The result was a sharper look: tailored trousers flattering his now-slimmer legs, shirts that really suited him. In the mirror, he saw a different man: no longer the awkward fellow hed grown used to, but a handsome, cared-for gentleman.
He even risked a new haircut. After years with the same look, he left the barbers with his hair fixed stylishly, and started using the moisturiser Mary gave him for his birthday. At first sceptical, soon he noticed his skin looked healthier, no more dry patches.
Soon Albert saw that people treated him differently. In the Underground, women glanced his way more often; at work, colleagues paid complimentsLooking sharp! or How did you slim down so much? Once, at the café by the window, a stranger approached andlightly touching his crisp new shirtasked for a recommendation for somewhere to eat nearby. Conversation flowed easily, and five minutes later she asked for his number, joking she liked meeting interesting people.
Albert felt a strange new pride. He no longer cringed in the gym changing rooms or shied from trips to the seaside. Now he could joke with colleagues, flirt with confidence, feel at ease wherever he went. Each admiring look, every compliment, seemed to reinforce his self-esteem.
But alongside this new confidence, another change had begunless visible, more insidious. The more Albert basked in attention and praise, the less he cared for what he already had. He began to forget, more and more, those evenings months ago when hed struggled to reach the third floor, when Mary painstakingly built his meal plans and coaxed him through workouts, when shed put up with his grumbling over porridge. That all seemed far away and barely worth remembering.
One evening, Mary came home from a particularly intense workout, bubbling with enthusiasm and energy, eyes bright.
Youll never believe itour trainer showed us a brilliant routine for the back today, she started, slipping off her trainers. I jotted it all downI could show you now, I know youd like it!
Albert, watching a drama on the TV, gave her a dismissive wave. Again with the fitness talk? Cant we just have a quiet evening for once? I just want to relax.
Mary faltered a second, then regained her composure. I only wanted to share. Its important to keep up, you know that.
He switched the television off and turned to her, a note of newfound swagger in his tone, something that had never been there before.
Im perfectly fine now, he said. Thanks to you, obviously, he added, a half-hearted concession, but I know what Im doing now. I dont need you reminding me all the time.
Do you truly believe that? Mary asked quietly, looking at him as though trying to decipher a riddle shed thought long solved.
Albert smirked, settling back and crossing his armsa display of confidence bordering on a dare. He seemed eager to showcase this new power, this newfound right to speak as he wished.
Isnt it obvious? he replied with a trace of mockery. Just look at me. Im not the slob you first met. Women stop me in the street, message me on social media! I can take my pick!
And whats your point? Mary inquired, her voice even, revealing nothing, but in her eyes a quiet searching that Albert could not quite understandneither anger nor resentment, more a deep contemplation.
You could be a touch more affectionate, Albert continued, lowering his voice. Celebrate with me, instead of always telling me what to do. Im not a child, am I? I know what Im doing.
He sounded almost apologetic, yet anxious to cling to his new sense of self. All he wanted, he thought, was a little more warmth, a little less instructionis that asking too much?
Mary rose slowly and moved to the window. Outside, dusk was thickening, the citys lights twinkling to life, and she regarded the familiar view as if seeking answers somewhere in the rooftops and glow.
You know, she said quietly, still looking outside, Id hoped to help you for your own sakenot for the attention of others. So youd feel healthy and happy. So you could enjoy life. I see now I might have been mistaken.
Are you upset? Albert tried for a smile but it came out awkward and false. Suddenly, something inside him shiftedit wasnt fear, precisely, but a vague unease. He hadnt wanted it to come to this. All hed wanted was for Mary to celebrate his change, to say, Well done, youve really transformed.
But what he saw when she turned to him wasnt reproach, but something far more complexa look of profound disappointment mingled with weary resolve. And for the first time in a long while, Albert paused, beginning to wonder if this really was what hed wished for.
Cant I be upset? I tried for youfor your sake! So you could be well. And now you brush me off, boast about having your pick of women, and tell me to be warmer? Im beginning to wonder if you even need me at all.
Oh, come on now, Albert sat up, masking discomfort with exaggerated nonchalance, as if batting away a fly. He tried to look relaxed, but inside, something twisted unpleasantly. You think youre the only one whod be with me? I could have any woman now! If you walk away, Illwell, Ill have plenty of other choices.
He said it with a smug little grin, gauging her reaction. Deep inside, hed hoped Mary would panic, beg him to stay, admit faultto show some sign she feared losing him!
But Mary simply arched an eyebrow, more surprised by the emptiness of his words than by their content.
You truly think youll find someone better that easily? she replied, her calm tinged with wry amusement. If you let yourself go, youll be back where you started in no time. And you really think all these women will stick around?
A flicker of irritation needled Albert. He didnt like her composure; he wanted a reactionsomething wild, not this eerie acceptance.
Of course, he said, forcing a casual shrug. With this look and confidence? No trouble! You just dont want to admit Im a changed man. Besides, I dont need your constant nagging. Ill never go back to what I wasunderstand? And I certainly dont need your help to stay in shape. Youre just in the way!
As bold as he sounded, Albert knew he was lyingto Mary and to himself. Without her, he wouldnt be who he was now. He remembered struggling up the stairs not so long ago, Mary carefully explaining nutrition, standing by him through workouts he hated. But now, it seemed that was another man, long gone.
Mary met his gaze, nodded once, then turned and headed for the bedroom. She didnt argue, didnt try to persuadeonly began gathering his things methodically, folding shirts, rolling jeans, matching socks into neat little balls. She stowed them in his large weekend bagthe one theyd taken to the coast together last summer. Albert, finally following to continue the conversation, could hardly believe his eyes.
Mary, what are you doing? he all but shouted. She didnt look up.
Giving you your freedom back, she retorted, voice steady and clear. Thats what you wanted, wasnt it? No more lectures, no more interference. Free to be with whoever you please.
Albert stood helplessly, unsure what to do. Hed expected tears, anger, demandsanything but this. Words caught in his throat; all he managed was a feeble gesture.
But I didnt he stammered. I didnt mean for this
What did you expect? Marys eyes finally found his, unreadable save for a faint smile. That Id beg you to stay? Sorry, Im not the sort to cling to someone who doesnt need me.
Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she strode across the room, opened the balcony door and, with purpose, tossed his belongings onto the crescent of grass below.
He rushed to the window, looked down. The bag had burst open on the lawn, scattering shirts and socks. A shoe had landed askew, and a pale shirt swayed from a hedge branch in the wind. The scene was so ridiculous, Albert was rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak.
What the hell have you done? he gasped, turning to Mary in disbelief. Those are my things!
Now youve no reason to stay, she replied, voice flat. Off you go. Show everyone how marvellous you are.
Albert stood, looking from her composed face to the clutter on the grass below. Everything inside churnedthe expectation of a row, of begging, of dramatic reconciliations. None of it came. Only this steely, unwavering resolve.
Mary he murmured, taking a hesitant step. There was a softness now, as if he realisedtoo latethat hed overreached.
But she was at the front door already, hand on the handle. Enough! Shed had all she could stomach! The endless talkAlbert surrounded by admirers, able to pick and choose. Let him pick, then.
Goodbye, Albert. Be happy. Collect the rest of your belongings tomorrow at eight sharpIll leave them outside the door. Dont be late if you want to keep them.
Albert trudged outside. The crisp evening air bit at his cheeks, making him shiver. He gathered up the scattered clothes, quick and clumsy. He smoothed down a shirt out of habit, then looked back up at the glowing window of Marys flat.
The lights were onsoft and golden, so familiar. But there was no silhouette, no movement now. Everything looked just as it always had, except that, for the first time, just as always no longer included him.
What had he expected, really? Somewhere, some foolish glimmer still hoped Mary might rush out the door after him, call for him to stop, confess it had been a moments anger. But nothing happened. The building was silent. The street toojust the odd passing car and distant laughter.
It was over.
Albert set himself quietly on a bench. The seat was icy, but he hardly noticed. His mind whirred with a tangle of thoughts that resisted making sense of the evenings outcome. He struggled to fathom howafter just half a yearhis whole world had been turned upside down.
He remembered the startMary patiently explaining why he should give up sweet drinks, showing him simple exercises to try at home, cheering his first small triumphs. He thought of her face the day he ran five kilometres without stoppingshed been so proud her eyes sparkled brighter than on the day they met. He remembered laughter as they made a salad together, his clumsy attempts to cut cucumber into even cubes. He remembered her patience when he complained about skipping pastries, and her gentle, You can do it. I believe in you.
That was itshed believed in him, even when Albert didnt believe in himself. She saw not a lazy office worker terrified of change, but someone capable of so much more. Her nagging, her worrying, her control had only ever been love. Quiet, sure, and persistent.
And Albert? Hed mistaken her care for a limitation on his freedom. Her anxiety as mere nagging. Her loveas an attempt to shape him into her own design. He thought he was changing for the better, but really hed only swapped one shell for another, blind to how little hed grown insidestill that same anxious man, afraid to admit he needed someones help.
The wind picked up, sneaking under his coat and making him shudder. Albert glanced down at his bag. He had everything hed wanted: a fit body, a new wardrobe, the attention of others. But suddenly, all that seemed unimportant. None of it filled the hollow place now gaping inside.
Slowly he rose, hoisted his bag, and took a step away from the home hed lost. Each footfall sounded in his headdull and final: Ive lost her. For good. Hed lost someone who truly loved him; someone whod always seen the best, even when hed doubted it himself.
And now he was left alone with what hed become. A man whod learned to attract strangers, but not to treasure what hed already had. A man whod acquired superficial success but forfeited something far more valuable.
For the first time in a long while, Albert felt a real feara fear that fixing this loss would be much harder than shedding the weight ever was.
