“You’re the reason I don’t have a family!” screamed the niece, clutching the keys to the flat.
“Aunt Margaret, do you ever regret not having children?” suddenly asked Emily, setting down her half-finished cup of tea.
Margaret Elizabeth flinched at the unexpected question. Emily had come to visit after months of silencethey had been chatting politely about work, the weatherand then this.
“What a strange thought, dear,” she replied carefully, smoothing the lace doily on the table. “Life unfolds as it does. Not everyone is meant to be a mother.”
“But it must be lonely, mustnt it? Living alone…” Emily studied her aunts face intently, as if tracing every wrinkle.
Margaret gave an awkward laugh. Outside, an October drizzle tapped against the window, but the flat was warm and tidy. She always kept it presentable, especially for familythough there wasnt much family left. Just Emily, her late brothers daughter.
“Why do you ask? Are things alright with you and James?” Margaret tried to shift the conversation. Theyd been dating three years. Shed hoped for a wedding soon.
“James and I split up,” Emily said flatly, turning toward the window. “A month ago.”
“Oh, love! Why didnt you tell me? I could have”
“You could have what?” Emily spun back, sharp. “Felt sorry for me? Told me there were more fish in the sea?”
There was a bitterness in her voice Margaret had never heard before. Emily had always been quiet, politefirst as a shy schoolgirl, then a diligent student, now a successful accountant. Margaret had been proud.
“Emily, whats wrong? You seem… not yourself today.”
“Not myself?” She stood, pacing the room. “What should I be? Smiling, pretending everythings fine? Acting like thirty-two is just a number when my love lifes been a graveyard?”
Margaret watched, bewildered, as Emily stopped at the old dresser, picking up a framed photoa little girl beside a younger Margaret.
“I was seven when my parents died in that crash,” Emily said softly, not turning. “Remember when I came to live with you?”
“Of course, love. We got through it together.” Margaret rose, wanting to reach for her, but Emily stepped away.
“Got through it? I didnt understand then. I thought it was temporary. That theyd come back, and Id go home.”
“Darling, why bring this up now? We talked about it”
“We never talked!” Emily whirled around. “You decided for me! Decided Id live with you, that it was best!”
Margarets chest tightened. Had Emily forgotten how hard it had been? Margaret, just twenty-eight, freshly divorced, her career in tatterssuddenly responsible for a child.
“Emily, I was young too. I mightve made mistakes, but I tried”
“Tried?” Emily laughed bitterly. “Know how you tried? You locked me in this flat! No clubs, no hobbies, no friends!”
“Thats not true! You had schoolmates”
“What friends? You said, ‘Why bother with people? Home is safer. Why join drama club? Waste of time. Why dance? Waste of money.'”
Margaret sank into a chair. She remembered it differentlyshed been protecting her from bad influences.
“I wanted to keep you safe”
“From what? Life? People? Learning how to live?”
“Dont say that. You grew up fine, got an education”
“Did I? But I cant talk to people! Cant flirt, cant be lighthearted! You made me like youclosed off, terrified of everything!”
The words stung. Margaret had always thought herself cautious, not cowardly.
“Emily, I know youre upset about James”
“What does James matter?” Emily cried. “Hes the fourth! The fourth man Ive driven away! And why? Because I dont know how to be open! At the first sign of trouble, I hidejust like you taught me!”
Margaret swallowed hard.
“And know what he said when he left? ‘Youre like a ghost. You exist, but you dont live. Work, TV, sleep. No passions, no desires. You dont even want sexjust to be left alone.'”
“Emily!” Margaret gasped. Such bluntness shocked her.
“WhatEmily? Truth hurts? Well, living hurts!” Emily pressed her forehead to the cold window. “All my friends are married. Have children. And I sit here, alone, wonderingwhats wrong with me?”
“Nothings wrong”
“There is!” Emily turned, eyes blazing. “And Ive figured it out. Im just like you. Repeating your life!”
“My life?”
“Yes! You were never happy either! Even married to Uncle Robert, you never spoke up! He did as he pleased, and you took it!”
Margaret clenched her fists. The truth about her failed marriage burned. Robert had been cruel, but Emily had been too young to understand.
“Dont judge what you dont know,” she whispered.
“I know! I lived here! I heard him shout, heard you cry at night! And when he left for that secretary, you didnt even fight!”
“Why fight if he wanted to go?”
“Exactly! You gave up. And you taught me the sameto give up, to shrink, to never fight for anything!”
Emily paced like a caged animal.
“And now Im grown, and I see itIm scared of men, scared of love, scared of being left. And guess what? They do leave. Because Im boring!”
“Emily, listen”
“No, you listen!” She stopped mid-room. “You stole my childhood! My youth! Turned me into another lonely woman!”
“I gave you everything”
“What? This flat?” Emily gestured wildly. “These old walls, these doilies, this graveyard silence?”
Margaret stood, offended. The flat was her prideclean, cozy, tasteful.
“This is my home. Our home.”
“Your home is a prison!” Emily shouted. “A prison for spinsters!”
The words slapped. Margaret paled.
“How dare you?”
“I dare! Because Im done pretending! Done acting like the grateful niece you raised out of pity!”
“Not pity! Youre family!”
“Family?” Emily sneered. “Then why did you never ask what I wanted? Why decide everything for me?”
“You were a child”
“At seven, yes! But at fourteen? Eighteen? Twenty-five? I stayed a child to yousomeone who couldnt be trusted with her own life!”
Tears pricked Margarets eyes. Had she been wrong all these years? Had her care been control?
“I only wanted”
“You wanted your peace. And the worst part? I get it. You were lonely, scared. But that doesnt fix me.”
Emily walked to the window. Streetlights flickered on.
“I should go.”
“Emily, we havent finishedStay for dinner?”
“No. I need to think.”
She grabbed her coat and bag.
“When will you visit again?”
“I dont know. I need space.”
“You cant just vanish”
“Why not?” Emily paused at the door. “Youve been vanishing from my life for years. At least let me try.”
“What do you mean?”
“Im renting a place. Alone. To learn how to live without you.”
“But why waste money? You have a room here”
“Youre not listening!” Emily turned, furious. “I need to break freephysically and mentally!”
“But Ill miss you”
“And Ive missed the life I never had!”
She yanked the door open but hesitated.
“One more thing. This flat…”
“What about it?”
“I dont want it. When youre gone, Ill give it to the state. Or a charity. It means nothing to me.”
“Emily! Its your inheritance!”
“Its not inheritance. Its payment for silence. For obedience. For the life you stole.” Emilys voice shook. “Youre the reason Im alone! And your flat cant fix that!”
The door slammed. Margaret stood in the dim, silent room.
Outside, the rain kept falling.
