Whats that dress youve got on? Trying to tempt someone with that rag? Have some shame, you know. Not only is your outfit cheap, but your head seems empty too. Youre full of emptiness and vulgarity, Ian Bradley spat, stood up and left the room. Ethel Clarke was left alone among the guests who had just caught sight of her in the new frock.
In that instant Ethel wanted the floor to give way beneath her. The dress, which a few minutes earlier had seemed lovely, suddenly felt like a weight. It squeezed her body like a set of shackles, making her unbearably uncomfortable. She longed to rip it off and fling it away.
The guests, embarrassed and ashamed as much as the hostess, quickly found excuses to depart and dispersed, leaving Ethel in a tense silence.
Ians behaviour was nothing new to him. When Ethel came home in simple tees and no makeup, he was neutral, sometimes even friendly. The moment she slipped on something more flattering or highlighted her figure, he turned into a completely different man. His public insults were aimed squarely at humiliating her in front of others.
Whats that miniskirt? Those things are made for people with proper legs, not your misshapen hobbleboots. Youve gotten used to me tolerating this horror, but no one else will put up with it! Change your clothes, stop torturing everyone around you!
When Ethel chose formfitting attire, his remarks grew sharper:
This a sausagerunway, Ethel? Your folds look as if someones wrapped them in a kitchen rag! Were all shocked, you can be proud youve actually turned heads. But stop it, or your sausage outlines will keep haunting your mates in nightmares for years!
In such moments Ian tried to pass his barbs off as jokes, as if his words were harmless quips not worth taking offence to. His laugh boomed, and he expected everyone to back his jokes.
At first Ethel tried to talk to him. She picked outfits she thought wouldnt trigger complaints, but Ian always found something to latch onto. If the clothes were unobtrusive, her makeup became the target.
Look at your eyebrowsthere arent any! Why paint them with a black marker? And the lipsladies, have you seen that? Lips like dumplings! If thats art, I must be a chef from the North.
Every attempt Ethel made to change for his sake only drew harsher criticism. He mocked her gym sessions, dismissed salon visits as wasteful, and turned each new wardrobe addition into a storm of disapproval. Even a plain Tshirt earned his scorn, because, in his view, it drew too much attention from other men.
Ethel tried to convince herself that Ian was merely jealous, unwilling to let her look good lest other blokes notice her. Yet his sarcastic, degrading comments persisted even when she dressed nicely just for home. After a year of marriage the young wife realised their union had become a genuine trial. Despite that, she still loved Ian and didnt want to tear the family apart. Before the wedding hed been a different person, and she had earnestly sought to understand what had changed him. All her attempts to speak were met with mockery and ridicule.
Ethel had married while still a university student, on her final year. After graduating she planned to find a job, but soon ran into the first alarming sign of his behaviour.
What job? I can picture it now: youll only parade dresses at work and flirt with the bosses. No office, got it? Youre a wife, so stay at home. Your duties: keep the house spotless, have meals ready for days ahead. Breakfast, lunch and teaeverything must be prepared! You only want to work so you can get tired and do nothing at home.
But Im only twentytwo! I dont want to be a housewife! It feels like Ill rot if I stay inside all day! Ethel protested.
Dont worry, with that brain of yours youll never degrade anywhere! Youve got nothing in that head but dreams of your nonsense and beauty salons.
Why do you treat me like this? I havent done anything wrong. You were different before we married! she said, voice trembling.
How else am I to behave when youre like this? You disgrace both yourself and me. Think about whos at fault. Theres plenty to think about! Ian snapped, dripping sarcasm.
What salons? You dont even give me money for them! she retorted.
Exactly! No point wasting money on foolishness. You never manage your cash properly! he cut her off.
Thats why I want to work! To earn my own money.
What? Earn? If you ever do get a job, all the wages go straight to me! Remember that forever. Theres no such thing as independence! Ian replied sharply.
The most terrifying thing for Ethel was that she had no one to share her distress with. Her mother had endured a husband who treated her far worse than Ian ever did to Ethelhe even raised his hand. So Ethel thought her situation was minor. The worst part was Ian never drank or hit.
She had no one to tell her that a lack of bad habits didnt make a man perfect. Most of her friends were single and envied her, assuming shed got it all sorted. They didnt know the reality because Ethel always hid her troubles.
One day, though, Ethel began to see the truth. Stuck at home, she bingewatched series. Watching young couples on screen, she noticed how men cared for their wivesno belittling, no mockeryjust warmth, support and love. Occasionally a character resembled Ian, but they were usually the villains.
Finally Ethel gathered the courage to voice her thoughts about their marriage and his flaws. As soon as she started, Ians face hardened and anger flared.
Ah, so youve been watching those fairytale videos about henpecked husbands and now think you can school me? All that television rubbish has gone into your head! he shouted. No! I wont let you make a laughingstock of me and ruin my reputation! From now on no TV, no internet, no ideas of yours. If you get bored, Ill call my normal mates! Got that?
But I didnt say anything wrong, I just wanted to share my thoughts, Ethel whispered, watching him yank the cables and switch off the router.
Dont keep dressing like youre heading to a cheap fairground, or painting yourself for night shifts. Enough! Ill reeducate you! Until youre normal, youll stay at home! he ranted.
That night Ethel felt genuine fear for the first time. She realised Ian could follow through on his threats and decided not to wait. When darkness fell she packed her belongings and fled. Her unexpected saviour turned out to be one of Ians friendssomeone Ian never expected to turn against him. George and his wife had long seen how unfairly Ian treated Ethel, and when they learned of her plight they offered shelter and help.
In that moment Ethel understood a man like Ian could not be changed. She no longer wanted to waste her best years on a toxic marriage and live in constant fear.
The decision to divorce came quickly and easily. Even when Ian started calling, hurling insults and mockery, Ethel stood firm. She no longer let him manipulate or dictate her choices.
After the divorce, Ethels life began to shift. She secured a job, started building a career, and finally felt free.
Ian soon found a new wifea young woman who seemed quiet and insecure. Ethel sincerely hoped she would one day find the strength to leave him, because she had learned that men like Ian almost never change.
