Hey love, you wont believe the morning I had. Simon snuggled up to me, wrapped his arm around me and whispered in my ear, Good morning, Emily. Then he drifted back to sleep, mumbling softly. I woke up, opened my eyes and lay still, terrified to move. My whole body felt icy, like something had frozen inside. What on earth had happened? Was everything really fine, or was there something I missed?
Simon rolled over, yawned and said, Olivia, youre so chilly, Im practically losing my nap. Are you okay? Its summer outside and youre shivering under the covers. Ill put the kettle on. He trotted to the kitchen humming a jaunty tune, as if nothing was amiss.
I stayed in bed a bit longer, then dragged myself up, feeling like my legs were made of lead. My head was buzzing with a white noise. Maybe I really did need that tea. Simon asked for a pancake. I glared at him, deadpan, You called me Emily this morning. He blinked, Whats that, love? I snapped, Simon, dont play the fool. You called me Emily. You mustve misheard, love. Emily, Olivia you were halfasleep. He chuckled, Thats why youre so cold and gloomy. Women, you make a drama out of nothing. Im heading to work on an empty stomach.
I wandered around the house, trying to pull myself together, watered the plants, whipped up a batch of pancakes, threw on some clothes and drove to his clinic. I kept telling myself it was just a slip of the tongueEmily, Olivia, whatever.
At the reception a brandnew secretary was sitting behind the desk. My stomach dropped again, the same old morning dread surfacing. She was young, stunning, a tumble of fiery curls, and wellendowed. Mr. Simon is busy today and isnt taking patients. I can book you in for next week. I blurted out, Better book yourself in, youll need it. She looked baffled, eyes wide. Excuse me? she asked. Who are you? I snapped, Olivia Thompson, Simons wife. Step aside, theres a line of streetwise folks waiting. Then Simons voice crackled over the intercom, Emily, bring me a coffee, will you? I snorted, Fine, Ill get it.
When I entered his office with a tray, Simon cooed, Olivia? Whats up? I placed the coffee down, added the pancakes, and said, Heres your coffee. And your divorce papers will be in the post. Bon appétit. He flared, Olivia, what the hell is happening? Youve been a witch since dawn. I shot back, Your witch is sitting in the waiting room. Why isnt she tidied up? Youre a respectable dentist and youve got a vulgar secretary cheap trick, Simon. He tried to calm down, Olivia, stop. I cant handle these outbursts. Im taking a week off at the cottage. Cool off, then call me.
I told him, Its too late, Simon. I wont put up with cheating. Just tell me why, so I know what Im dealing with. He sighed, sipped his coffee and grimaced, Vera quit. I hired Emily on her recommendation. When? About a month ago, he muttered, looking away. Why didnt you tell me? You always share news. I didnt expect Emily to stick around. Shes doing a great job. I doubt it. Shes brilliant at work! And more than that. It was an accident! I didnt mean any of this! If you hadnt meant it, you wouldnt have cheated. Im packing my things today. Where are you going? I trembled, I said Id stay at the cottage for a week, just calm down. Olivia, I dont want a divorce! But its inevitable. I cant hear my own name from your lips. Emily, your redhaired secretary will keep haunting me. Dont ruin my sanity; I already have a stressful job, kids, the lot.
He begged, Stay in the flat. Why would I need your flat? I have my own house. In the sticks? An old timber cottage? Thats my home. End of story.
My parents old house was left to me, a place full of memories that made me ache. My friend Nell was there, whining, You cant live here, Olly, get your head straight. Sell the place, get a mortgage, move on. I told her, No point looking back. I cant do it. Could you? She shrugged, I dont know what Id do in your shoes. I opened every window, breathed in the musty air, and tried to picture a future. It could be a nice place eventually. It’s solid, fifteen minutes from town. Everyones building up the village, the utilities are probably in place by now. Ive never actually been here in five years.
Nell suggested, You could stay in the spare room until autumn. Sashas off on holiday. I snapped, Thats a teenagers room, you lunatic. She waved it off. Feel that scent? I asked, It smells like grass, like the countryside, like childhood. She replied, The grasss grown wild, youll need to mow it. You cant handle that alone. I said, Ill sort it. I could hire a crew to dig up the garden. Ive saved a bit, thanks to Simons private practice. He always treated my salary as a bit of fun money, telling me to save for holidays. Nell sighed, Hes a decent bloke. I muttered, I thought so too, but now its heavy on my chest. She sympathised, I can imagine. I thought about pulling Emilys front teeth, just to spite him, but shes young and healthy no point. Nell retorted, Youre old and sick, love? At forty lifes just beginning. I wondered how to explain all this to my daughter Polly. If we divorce, Ill tell her. She might drop out of uni, come back trying to fix things I dont want that. Nell asked, After twenty years together, no regrets? I snapped, Im fed up, okay? She was taken aback, I thought youd be crying. You wont get a drop of it. She guessed my stress, Maybe thats why youre like this. I replied, Probably. Alright, you wanted help? Grab a bucket, lets get the water, clean the floors, dust the windows. She suggested staying in a hotel, but I was determined to keep the family house. Its my parents place; I wont tear it down or sell it.
The next day a new house appeared on the other side of the lane, behind a tall fence. Nell raised an eyebrow, Im not surprised. After all these years houses spring up next to each other, everyone wants to expand. I walked around the old property, noticing the fence only three sides, the fourth just stakes. Maybe they havent finished the fence yet, I muttered. Suddenly a car pulled up, the owner looking bewildered. Youre just telling fairy tales, Nell. Life can be stranger than stories. A lanky bloke stepped out, asked, Wheres the water source? I need some. I told him I was after a well, but he shrugged, Im not much for wells. He offered his own well, but there were none left. I sighed, Fine, Ill go to my own. He chuckled, Dont like wells, huh? Nell whispered, Youve got tap water, right? I replied, Yes, Ive taken it. Go home, youre getting nervous.
Morning came with a pigs squeal that reminded me of my childhood, but there were no pastries in the house, no one moving about. Tears welled up again. What the hell am I doing here? I muttered. Then another squeal, and footsteps outside. I shouted, Whos there? Im calling the police! A voice replied, Dont worry, Im the neighbour. I need to collect my pig, Gus. I, still in my pyjamas, stepped onto the porch. What pig? Youre kidding me. Gus! the man called from the overgrown garden. The grass rustled, a small black piglet emerged, wobbling towards me. Is he a purebred? I asked. Honestly, I dont know much about pigs. Why do you want him? He explained, He wandered onto my plot and set up shop in my shed. Ive roamed the village, nobodys looking for stray pigs. I grew attached, actually. Hes a friend. I heard someone might have wanted to kill him, so I rescued him. I asked how he ended up in this village, he said, Nature, fresh air, quiet, town nearby. You dont look like a country person. I snapped, Lets skip the drama. Ive got a divorce in a week, my stress is through the roof. I could break a bone if you push me. I grew up here, we all had pigs back then. Stop staring at my hands. I could fell a birch with a pine ax if I wanted. He backed off, Lets get Gus out, its getting dangerous. I havent built a fence yet, your grass is perfect for him. He left, muttering about not hurting animals.
The next morning a dogs whine woke me up. I stepped onto the porch to find a sleepy neighbour unlocking the gate, still in his nightclothes, with Gus snorting beside him. A tiny puppy wagged its tail. Is that your dog? I asked, a little annoyed. What gave you that idea? he replied. You have no fence, stray pigs get in, maybe dogs too. Do you want to keep a puppy? I was just about to head to the shelter this week. Ive never owned a dog. Youve already dealt with the pig. He laughed, Consider it a neighbourly gift. Give him a name. How about Arlo? Too close to my own name, Arthur. Not ideal. Then call him Chuck. You already have Gus, so Chuck and Gus it is! He smiled, Thanks! And you are? Olivia. Nice name. I lingered, not quite ready to leave. The neighbour said, Well look after the puppy together. Ill teach you a thing or two about dogs, and youll have a proper guardian for your house. He reminded me of what Nell had warned me about marrying a man named Goremichkoa name that sounds like trouble. I laughed at the absurdity, thinking how my life had turned into a sitcom with a pig, a puppy, and a looming divorce.
Later, Simons voice crackled through the phone, Olivia, you still having that pajama party? I sighed, Meet, Simon, this is Arthur. Arthur, this is Simon, my soontobe exhusband. Why are you here? How did you even find me? He replied, Your gates wide open, the doors ajar, I just wanted to see if youd changed your mind about the divorce. We could even get married again on the same day, love? I swallowed, trying to stay neutral. Simon said, My daughter was here earlier, thought the cottage was empty. Talk to her, shell probably call you. Youre just standing there looking pretty. He waved and left the gate. I asked the neighbour, Why are you doing this? He said, Your house is old, no water, no gas, the loos outside youll keep coming to me anyway, dragging all the stray animals. So why not move in with me? Im not after a fling; Im lonely after my own divorce. We could share the place, kids, animals, and Ill rebuild the house. Itll be nice for you, and we could be on a firstname basis. I snapped, Youre mad! I dont know if youre a maniac. Stay away, Im dealing with a divorce and betrayal.
A year later we actually got married and ended up with a cat named Mittens. (End of story).
