I was absolutely determined: “I will never leave my son with her again!” Until recently, I thought my mother-in-law was a sensible woman. But within just three days, that impression changed dramatically. We left our newborn son—just a few weeks old—with his grandparents so we could have a little rest, me from housework and my husband from work stress, just for a three-day break. Before trusting my son to my mother-in-law’s care, I spent two hours carefully writing an extensive list of instructions—emphasizing his diet and daily routines. I included notes about which educational games we play, the pediatrician’s number, and arranged for her to come immediately if Grandma called. We made sure my husband’s parents had everything: baby food, nappies, a homemade first aid kit, toys, and books. I was anxious the whole trip, the three days flew by, and then we returned… to be greeted by a withdrawn little boy looking fearful. As Grandma rushed toward us, she immediately called out: “Careful now, or you’ll fall!” In the corner sat a bag filled with the food we’d brought, and beside it a bag of unread books. I looked around confused, and my mother-in-law, reading my expression, said: “We’ve decided not to go back into town: Discover more Sunshade – We decided that we’ll all eat together! – What do you mean? – That we should eat the same thing. Michael ought to get used to grown-up food. – Did you read what I wrote? – I started, but it was so much…. – When did you put him down for his naps during the day? – Michael didn’t want to, he played instead, so he didn’t nap, and in the afternoon I gave him a pork chop. – What kind of pork chop? – Fresh! We bought pork loin so they were nice and juicy! I was simply stunned. Instead of naps, my baby was eating pork chops! Then we heard the rest… My mother-in-law decided to save money on nappies (they’re so expensive!), so my son got just two a day—morning and night. Instead of reading, she let Michael play by himself, locked all the windows and the balcony (for fear of draughts), and convinced him to lie still with his eyes closed for two whole hours before sleep. Three days at Grandma’s house led to a whole month of hard work to get our son back to the state he was in beforehand. We got back into routine, gave up the battle against chocolate and sweets, but the toughest part was sleep. After ten days, we’d restored his daytime schedule—but each night still feels like a circus. Discover more Sunshade I stood firm: “Never again!” My husband supported me, though unlike me, he never told his mum what he really thought. So, dear mums, think seven times before you leave your little ones with their grandmothers, even for just a few days!

I was quite determined: I will never leave my son with her again!

Up until recently, I had always seen my mother-in-law as a sensible woman. Yet, after just three days, my entire view changed drastically.

We had left our little boy with his grandparents. Hes just a few weeks old barely past his first days in the world but we needed a little breather: me from the endless chores at home and my wife from the grind of work.

Before entrusting my son to my mother-in-laws care, I spent a good two hours putting together a detailed set of instructions. I made sure to focus on his feeding schedule and daily activities. I wrote down which educational games we tended to play, gave her the number for our family GP, and even made arrangements so the doctor could come straight away if Gran rang.

Wed made certain my parents-in-law had everything they could possibly need: baby food, nappies, a homemade first-aid kit, some toys and books.

Despite all that, I was uneasy the whole trip. The three days away vanished in a blink, and then it was time to return We were greeted by a clearly overwhelmed little chap, clutching tightly to his teddy and looking rather bewildered. As my mother-in-law hurried towards us, she shouted out, Careful, dont trip! In the corner, I spotted the bag of supplies wed brought; nearby sat the bag with his books.

It left me scratching my head. My mother-in-law, catching the look on my face, hurried to explain: Weve decided not to trek into town anymore.

Lets all eat together!

What do you mean by together? I asked.

Its better for Thomas to get used to grown-up food, she replied matter-of-factly.

Did you read what Id written? I asked.

I started, but there was ever so much

And when did he get put down for his nap?

Thomas didnt want to sleep. He played instead, so he didnt nap. This afternoon I gave him a pork chop.

A pork chop? What sort?

Fresh ones from the butcher we got a nice pork loin, and the chops were so juicy!

I was dumbfounded. Instead of an afternoon nap, my baby had been handed a plate of pork chops! But it didnt stop there. We soon learned my mother-in-law decided to cut corners on nappies, since as she put it theyre so dear! So, my son had only two per day, one in the morning and one at night. Instead of storytime, she let Thomas play by himself, locked every window and the back door (in case of a draft), and insisted he lay quietly for two hours before bed with his eyes shut.

Those three days at Grannys plunged us into a tough month of work undoing the chaos. We fought valiantly to quit the chocolate and sweets shed spoiled him with, got him back into good routines, and the hardest bit was tackling bedtime. We finally restored naps after ten days and, even now, bedtime has turned into a bit of a circus.

I stood my ground: Never again! My wife backed me up, though, unlike me, she didnt actually tell her mum how she really felt.

So, if I can offer a word of advice to fellow dads: Think long and hard before you leave your little ones with their grandmothers, even for just a few days. The most important lesson Ive learned is that sometimes, the best intentions in the world are no substitute for clear preparationand knowing when to say enough is enough.